Thankfulness
(Melissa clinks her glass to get everyone’s attention. Clears throat. Begins)
Welcome everyone, to the first virtual ALI Thanksgiving meal–an online meal that I hope will become a yearly tradition before we scatter to our respective actual Thanksgiving tables. Is it held during American Thanksgiving week instead of Canadian or another country’s thankfulness celebration? Yes, and I apologize for that, but at least I didn’t hold it on American Thanksgiving so hopefully everyone will feel comfortable participating regardless of where you live.
(polite laughter from the non-American contingency)
The Thanksgiving myth is that people who had nothing more in common than simple humanness stopped looking at each other’s differences on this day in history and sat down at the table together for a meal. It’s a meal about survival; about going into the winter knowing the odds are stacked against you and still pausing for a moment to think about the here and now. And truly, what better myth to describe our own virtual Thanksgiving table, where donor gamete bloggers are sitting next to those living child-free after infertility and the adoption bloggers are seated next to those starting their first IUI. We have nothing more in common than our humanness and a desire to build our families. Some have crossed the river and are standing on the opposite bank with the families they struggled to build. Others are still wading in the water. And some are left on the original bank, not able yet to move ahead or deciding to stay out of the water. And yet, we place aside our differences–wait, not place aside, we learn from our differences, we utilize our differences–to create community. We all have the means to support one another. It is as simple as a word, a kind gesture.
I would like to start off the festivities by making a toast: to thankfulness. I will always be incredibly grateful to this online community, a community that has grown to almost 2100 people currently, not to mention those who have slipped away from our community over the years. I’m not sure those who have never experienced this can understand how it feels to know that there are people around the world connected to you emotionally. You are tied to their story and they are tied to yours and together, those threads intertwine to make a web strong enough to hold all of us who walk over it. It’s not a spider web meant to ensnare; it’s more the netting below the trapeze, there to catch you and cushion your landing in case you fall.
I asked all of you to bring a dish to this multi-culti potluck meal–there is no need to stick to traditional Thanksgiving fare when you have such a diverse table spanning the entire globe. Please share with everyone at the table what you brought and why.
I’ll begin by pointing out that pot–right over there–next to that orange dish… Do you see it? I brought vegetarian matzo ball soup. Why? Well, the reality is that meat eaters can eat vegetarian but vegetarians cannot eat meat, therefore, I wanted my soup inclusive (someone at the table shouts out something about how I’m going to make everyone sing “Kumbaya”. I pick up a roll and toss it in their general direction). I’m Jewish, so I wanted to bring a dish that reflects my world and I think that matzo ball soup is comforting. If I do nothing else right in this world, let it be said that I give comfort well? So, I brought vegetarian matzo ball soup. What did you bring?
And please, start eating as everyone is introducing their dish. We don’t want the food to get cold and there are so many of us at this table. Thank you so much for coming, and I’m going to carry the warmth of this meal with me for the rest of this week. In fact, I just might print out this post and the comments below and carry it with me in my pocket to my actual Thanksgiving meal to have all of you there and feel free to do the same if you need the fortification.
69 comments
What a wonderful idea. Thank you for inviting me to your virtual feast. I appreciate the chance to share a meal with so many wonderful bloggers, some I may recognize and some who will be new to me. That’s a big part of my family’s tradition, by the way, sharing our meal with people outside of our family. Everyone is encouraged to bring a friend or neighbor or co-worker, anyone that may be otherwise alone for the holiday. We never know how many people will sit down at the table, but there’s always enough to feed more.
For my dish, I’m going to veer off in a non-traditional direction. While we always serve a large turkey with all the trimmings at home, today I’m bringing Saurbraten. I apologize to the vegetarians present; my daughter is one and I’m usually more attuned to this. But I wanted to bring a sense of tradition and family to the table. This was my grandmother’s favorite “company” meal. She learned the recipe from her grandmother, and passed it along to me. Because it takes three days to marinade properly, and because my grandmother was not someone who planned anything ahead, it was reserved for only the most special occasions.
Enjoy!
I’ll bring the apple vodka i’ve got infusing in the fridge right now. I think any holiday is made better with booze. I’ll also bring my fave toasted veggies. They are so simple to make but so good. And they’ll be even better tomorrow in case you have more people stopping by..
Lovely idea! 🙂
Well, I’ve brought my raw, vegan blueberry ‘cheese’ cake. Now, stop pulling faces! It’s heavenly, and everyone who’s tried it comes back for more. And since this time it’s a virtual one, we don’t have to worry about the calories or anyone with nut allergies.
Now, pass me some of that apple vodka, & I’ll have the matzo soup to start.
Always save room for dessert – and I’ll bring the Caramel Cranberry Nut Tart. I think it’s my MIL’s favorite of all the things I cook and I think it’s pretty good too. We’re kind of avoiding the family this year, so I’m happy to be part of a large gathering here.
Im bringing my 14 layer chocolate cake–its homemade and like me, composed of many layers 🙂 And since this is virtual, have plenty–since there are ZERO calories!
And Meghan, you better save a glass of the apple vodka for me!
Ooooh, JJ’s chocolate cake is AMAZING.
I’m going to bring my apple/walnut/sausage stuffing with an additional bowl of it whipped up with TVP instead of sausage.
I’m so glad to get to spend this time with some of the BEST people I know.
I’m in for the mashed potatoes. There is a conspiracy to make me believe that I make the best mashed potatoes in the world (they taste normal to me). I believe that this conspiracy is worldwide and was developed to make sure that I always have to make the potatoes, every single year, for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
What a great idea! I am very thankful to have gotten to know this community and I am thankful for the gift that science has been able to give many of us, including me. I hope that many more people will be thankful next year.
I am bringing a traditional dish from my beloved Grammie. It’s called Orange Fluff and it is a fruit dessert. It includes cottage cheese and orange jello, mandarin oranges, crushed pineapples and whipped topping. Yes, sounds unusual, but it is very YUMMY. (Oh, and maraschino cherries on top–I will bring the bottle so people can use the extra cherries for the drinks).
Happy Thanksgiving!
I will bring the rolls (only for heaven’s sake Mel, please quit throwing them as I want to eat them!) freshly baked with the finest European butter to slather on. Thank you for the invitation to this table and may I say you deliver comfort better than any I have ever seen.
Vegetarian matzo ball soup for thanksgiving? Hey, why not! I guess you need a Tofu Turkey, too. I tried one last year. Uh… well, it was interesting….
I’m bringing a dessert too, one with a uniquely Australia feel (because despite what those Kiwi’s say WE invented it NOT them LOL), I’ve placed my dish with my Pavlova decorated with pomegranate seeds and chantilly cream on the table, it looks delish! Here’s a pic of it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Christmas_pavlova.jpg
Unfortunately I do not have alot to be thankful for this year, I wish I did but I don’t, so will skip that part of my comment.
Tradition for my family on Thanksgiving is to always try something new for dessert. I had been thinking about bringing my maple pumpkin creme brulee, but seeing as there are so many desserts already….
I will bring a batch of my potatoe & cheese perogies… made with Grandma’s grandma’s recipe… fried up in lots of butter and topped with sour cream and sauteed onions.
Can some one pass the stuffing? It sounds divine!
*steals some of Mrs. Gamgee’s potato and cheese pierogis*
Delish! They’ll have to substitute for my grandma’s since we’re staying home this year.
I’m hosting our very first Thanksgiving feast to a motley crue of misfits, family and friends. I can’t wait to open our home to laughter and conversation, good food and drink, and most importantly, love (even if I don’t gush for all of our guests). Entertaining in our new apartment makes me feel complete, even among our current state of IF.
So, I will be going completely traditional and will cook the turkey. I suspect I will need to make a TON of turkeys, so I will use a different recipe on each. I know one will be an orange-burbon turkey, and another will be rubbed with spices, cooked with mixed vegetables, olive oil rubbed under the skin, and will be drenched in a dreamy red wine reduction sauce.
I’m also making brandy slushes and Pimm’s. You know, to warm you up to company. 🙂
Thanks for inviting me. this is the Thanksgiving dinner I would really like to be at. Going to the in laws is always drama filled.
Anyway, i am thankful for all of you. For always lifting me up when I am down. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and all your dreams come true in the next year.
For my dish I am bringing cheesy potatoes because they are my absolute favorite!! Enjoy!
Chocolate chip cookies, with part of the butter replaced by ground flax seed.
Though you’ll never know.
Who gets to carve the roast beast? Or the roast matzo?
I’ll bring poffertjes. They fit with my diagnosis (pof) and my nationality (dutch) They are traditional small pancakes from a yeast (or beer) batter, best eaten hot with powdered sugar and real butter. ohh, the butter melts, the sugar dissolves… yum and comforting! http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestand:Poffertjes_001.jpg
Thankfull that today I can be among you, today a year ago was the last day before I miscarried at cd 49. And I don’t know if I’ll even get another chance. For drinks I’ll bring pomegranate juice sweetened with raspberry.
I’m happy to be here. Salivating as I’m taking my seat by the table. Grateful to be surrounded by fellow IFers. Not worried about shedding a tear during dinner and having to explain our years of trying to conceive, our first IVF, our very first BFP in November, followed by a loss at 6 weeks. Knowing you’ll all understand and lend a shoulder to cry on.
I’m bringing a traditional swedish holiday dish called Jansson’s Temptation. A creamy potato and onion gratin flavored with anjovies. It simply isn’t a complete holiday smorgasbord without it.
I have always wanted to know what a matzo ball actually is … thank you for always introducing me to new things, Mel.
I will bring my tuna casserole, a recipe I perfected when I used to work as a barmaid in my early twenties. It’s made with sour cream and asparagus, and is now a family favourite.
I am thankful for a cancer-free year …. for learning my limits …. and for discovering the joy of being present.
OK. I will bring a large pot of steamy wild mushroom risotto — loaded with the magic of the Pacific Northwest woods. Chantarelles, chicken of the woods, oyster mushrooms and anything that looks great at Pike’s market. Add some fresh herbs from the garden, some shaved parmesan and a dash of cream. MMmmmmmmmmmmmm
What a great dinner! Dessert is my favorite so I’m gonna bring my frosted lemon squares, which are divine! I haven’t made them in a long time. Seems like a good occasion.
cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.
Mel, I will forever be a SITS girl. You got me going… there is no way I ever defined myself as “infertile”. I defined myself as “barren” and it is totally different. I felt alone. Now I feel… part of a strong community. Thanks to YOU. Because I have been able to help others over the hump, pain, give joy, due to my humanity and life experience. THANK YOU.
What I bring to the table today is a new recipe. I love to cook. So I am gonna bring the turkey. The turkey is made with MAPLE SYRUP as a baste. Yup. And pecans. So those of you w/a nut allergy can have Mel’s turkey and those who like exotic stuff… can eat my recipe. Tons of butter, maple syrup, cider vinegar, thyme. Salt and pepper to taste. Yum.
Today the Duo is 20 months old. Without our surrogate, B and her family, me and the DH would be celebrating this turkey day in an echoing, empty house (as so many of us infertile women are/have been/have done). Alone. The sounds of nothing.
Today, thanks to my DH and the miracle of surrogacy, this barren women celebrate the week of thanksgiving with her Duo. Their 20th month on the planet. I can’t be more grateful than that.
Thanks to YOU, Mel, instead of pushing away the label “infertile” I am embracing it and helping others push through the wall of pain.
Thank YOU Mel. Happy Thanksgiving to you and to all my SITSas. Bless you and keep all of you. Keep the FAITH.
The old mama…
I think I will bring my homemade buttermilk biscuits. I think it is a southern thing, but they are delicious! I learned how to make them from my mother.
I am so thankful for this community. It has gotten me through so much! And still is a constant source of support!
I’ll bring guacamole (in honor of my little Burrito and Tamale) with pomegranate seeds within and on top (in honor of my bloggy friends). I make it for various gatherings, but never before at Thanksgiving. No matter how many avocados I use, I never have leftovers.
I am thankful that we have made it through the past year with our health intact. For me, IVF and IUI, pregnancy complications, birth complications, and post-partum recovery; for DH, a scare that I didn’t blog about which turned out fine; for Burrito and Tamale, premature delivery (which almost occurred a month and a half earlier). We have defied all sorts of odds in all sorts of ways, and here we all are.
I’m bringing the homemade macaroni and cheese. It’s a taste from the South that I will soon be leaving. It reminds me of a friend of mine who I have shared a couple Thanksgivings with who has moved away. She has asked for the recipe, and I feel that she is trying to have a part of my family with her on that day.
Count me in with a dessert, too. A divine chocolate bread pudding ordered and brought special from a wonderful waterfront restaurant in Savannah…because my own wouldn’t match it in taste or appearance.
Everyone knows that a rich dessert is the pregnant (and TTC) girl’s apple vodka!
Well, I might just cry.
I’ve been stalking you as of late (you know why!). And, I think I might stick around….you know, being empty of womb, and full of heart…
I am thankful, this year, for community. For family. For the fight that is still in my soul.
I brought a big ol’ pot of Collard Greens (ya know, that’s what we have her in THE Georgia, right?). Give them a try. They’re really yummy with a little spicy vinegar on top.
Happy Thanksgiving y’all!
Thank you for inviting me to your Thanksgiving feast, even though I’m a brand new visitor.
I’l like to contribute a family tradition of fried Pillsbury rolls rolled in white and brown sugar. We eat these in the morning while we are watching the parades.
I’ll bring the corn pudding – made from my husband’s family recipe using sweetened condensed milk and cream corn and baked until the top caramelizes. Vegetable or dessert? You decide!
I’m so grateful for finding this community of support. If not for you all, I would have to pay for therapy.
How lovely!
I’m bringing honey-roasted sweet potatoes. For one, it’s lighter than the usual marshmallow-smothered sweet potato casseroles. For another … my mother died at the end of May, so I’ve been spending more time visiting my father, looking after him, and cooking for him. He’d never really eaten much of my cooking before, and he’s fallen in love with the honey-roasted sweet potatoes. When I was talking to him about what to serve for Thanksgiving, he said, “As long as you make those sweet potatoes, I don’t care!” So, the honey-roasted sweet potatoes are a small token of love and gratitude for my father.
And for my wonderful in-laws, the two dishes I bring every year—cranberries in wine, and double-layer pumpkin pie.
This year, I’m most thankful for the physical and emotional strength that has gotten me through a difficult year—losing my mother and my beloved cat in the same month, plus IF (leading to a lap this past August that found Stage II endo), plus a few professional disappointments. But all things considered, I’m actually doing okay.
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Well, another great idea from the Queen of Stirrup Queens! I’m thankful for you Mel, my almost cousin. When I first stumbled across this site more than 2 1/2 years ago it was a like finding a life jacket in the middle of an ocean. And through your site I found other DC bloggers and TOOTPU, which was like finding a boat. I may not have drowned without all of you, but the journey would have been even more difficult. (And I LOVE matzo ball soup – I’m sure yours is the best!)
As for my own contribution, I’ll bring my chocolate hazelnut tart–my husband tells me it’s pretty good.
The detox diet I’m on has caused some shakeups in the menu, so I’ll bring something I’m bringing to my mom’s on Thursday — Cranberry Polenta Triangles.
I’m so thankful for this community that holds me up when I’m down and cheers with me when I’m happy. I’m also thankful for Bravo playing The West Wing today before dIUI 4.2 (the first IUI I have to go to without JD). The West Wing has been very important to our relationship (the theme song played as we walked back up the aisle at our wedding).
Since Mrs. Gamgee is bringing the perogies, I’ll bring the cabbage rolls, which are always on my family’s Christmas/Thanksgiving table, along with the mashed potatoes & stuffing. : )
Having an American mom, I often used to get to celebrate two Thanksgivings when I was growing up — so I feel like a kid again — & since I will be 49 very soon (gulp) & have been feeling sort of old & creaky lately, I am thankful for that. Thanks, Mel. : )
Ooooh, so exciting to be invited to a proper Thanksgiving meal! And I can enjoy all this virtual food even with my upset stomach, which is even better.
I do have a lot to be thankful for this year – for my wonderful supportive family and friends both new and old, real life and virtual. Also for the fact that we live in an age where we don’t just have to give up on our dreams or keep vainly hoping for ever, but have an actual diagnosis and a shot at overcoming that diagnosis – and the savings to pay for that shot. And I know you won’t think it’s greedy to hope that next year we have even more to be thankful for.
I’ll bring my husband’s favourite pudding – a nice sherry trifle with hundreds and thousands on top. And one without sherry so anyone who’s off the virtual alcohol can join in too.
*comes in rushed, clumsily, with two cases of wine* Sorry I’m late! Who’s up for drinks? I’ve brought a case of Chateaux Bonnet Entre Deux Mers 2006 (literally, “between two seas” or “at the mouth of two rivers”), a very drinkable briny white Bordeaux with a refreshing, crisp finish. Goes great with Kim’s orange bourbon turkey, Jendeis’s Cranberry Polenta triangles, and of course, Mel’s matzo ball soup. The other case I’ve brought is a case of the Louis Jadot 2009 Beaujolais Nouveau, a young red from Bordeaux released every year on the third Thursday of November. I intend on tossing back several glasses of the red with some of Erin’s cheeses, Circus Princess’s Jannson’s Temptation, and heaping portions of both Traci’s wild mushroom risotto and Lauramich’s honey-roasted sweet potatoes!
I’ve brought these to share b/c these are my two favorite wines to share with friends and introduce them to if they haven’t already tried them. I’m bringing wine b/c I intend to drink copiously this year at Thanksgiving- it’s a hard time of the year for me to begin with (anniversary of surgery that might have kicked off my POF problems years ago, anniversary of Ari’s grandfather’s death) now added with my sister’s pregnancy announcement to our parents. Oh, that reminds me, I brought a couple of bottles of Martinelli’s sparkling pomegranate apple “champagne” – non-alcoholic for the folks that can’t drink tonight.
I’m so thankful for finding this community. It was one of the first resources I found when I was first diagnosed, and I am daily grateful for all of the stories and support that I have found out there as a result of Mel’s blogroll. It can seem like a lonely IF world out there, but it’s coming to things like a virtual Thanksgiving that remind me there are in fact, a lot of us out there, and I take comfort in the community I’ve found.
In my family’s house, you can’t have Thanksgiving without lasagne. Yes, lasagne. My grandmother always had a huge roasted turkey and at least one dish of lasagne. Ya know, the pasta course before the meat course?
So, I’ll make a veggie lasagne, lots of cheese and tomatoes and basil and cheese. And more cheese.
And I’m thankful for my DH, and for the end of this year. It has been a tough one, and I’m thankful for time passing, having the past behind me, and the future ahead.
I’m bringing potato curry with raita, served on naan breads. I’m craving it so much!
I’m bringing stuffed acorn squash. As a near-vegetarian, I have learned that bringing Tofurkey to extended family celebrations is likely to fail, but people will at least try acorn squash. It looks festive on the holiday table. I should also bring a pot of tea for after the meal (since I’ve given up coffee for the time being).
I’m thankful for the home we bought this year. There’s enough room in it for a bigger family. While I am often sad that we don’t yet have that family, I don’t take for granted that we have a place to call our own. I’m also thankful for my friends who have shared their experience of IF and pregnancy loss with me – they know what we’re going through, and they know why. Their encouragement and support means the world to me.
Lordy -you all made me hungry.
I am bringing a garlic cheese ball because I have been craving it like woah and one just can’t have enough cheese in my opinion.
Like everyone else, I am so incredibly thankful for this community. Not only did it help me through treatments, but it also gave me the courage to speak up about our own struggles to family and friends, which in turn opened the door for them to come to me looking for support. No lie, I’ve had at least 10 friends/family confide in me about their own infertility. If I hadn’t spoken up, they wouldn’t have spoken up and the cycle of lonliness would have continued. While it breaks my heart to hear what they are going through, I’m so happy that they’re not doing it absolutely alone. And although I’m helping them with advice and a shoulder to cry on, they don’t even realize that it’s also helping me to heal from our own struggles.
So thank you to all of you!
Now pass the cheese, please 🙂
Well Mel, you brought the Matzo ball soup–I’ll have to bring my homemade challah and garlic butter.
I’m thankful that I still have the energy for another fight.
I’m thankful that my dear, beloved, husband said “It’s a siege, not a war–and we are stubborn as hell.”
I only wish we could have a dinner together.
This is wonderful! I am bringing my homemade apple pie. I’ve been making it every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas since I was nine years old (with the help of my mom back then). It reminds me of family, love, and comfort–three things that the IF community also bring to me. I am so very grateful for all of you.
I haven’t seen Pumpkin Pie yet…I won’t make it (anyone who knows me knows that I “buy” better than I “bake” but I assure you I know good Polish Bakers and it will be good)…dessert IS the best part after all.
I have much to be thankful for in my crazy, chaotic life. However, celebrations normally remind me of people (my sisters in IF ) that don’t..so I thank with one hand and ask with the others for my peeps.
I am soooo thankful for this community, no matter how many times I try to leave the table, one of you says something kind and keeps me here. *sniff* thank you. for. that.
HAPY THANKSGIVING my dear friends…pass those plates. 🙂
What a wonderful Thanksgiving gathering! I am thankful for all of you. Thank you for sharing your stories and baring your souls. I have found strength and companionship from so many.
I am bringing broccoli cheese casserole. Ordinary, yes, but it is my Thanksgiving staple and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel cheated if I didn’t share it with you as well!
Is there any of JJ’s 14 layer chocolate cake left? If not, I’ll lick the knife . . .
I love this idea! Wish we could all get togther. It would be so much fun!
Anyway, Thanksgiving isn’t the same for us if we don’t have cauliflower, leeks and mushrooms in a creamy extra sharp white cheddar cheese sauce, so that’s what I’m bringing. Yum! And I’m gaining weight just looking at all these desserts! But they look darn good 😀
To me dessert is the best part of any meal. I would like to bring a Turtle Pumpkin Pie. A little twist on tradition and filled with goodness. Perfect at the end of a good meal.
So thankful this Thanksgiving for the ALI community and to you Mel for keeping us all together! This is my first Thanksgiving sharing our struggle with other IF sisters. It has made the holidays that much easier. Thank you to everyone in this community. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you for inviting me to this special Thanksgiving meal… I’m thankful – like so many others – for this community, that lets me rant and cry, but celebrates when I celebrate too.
I’m going to bring my hubby’s favourite – Lemon Meringue Pie; because we all need a dessert with some sweetness and tang. I can’t wait to try all this fabulous looking food.
I just ate lunch yet weirdly I’m starving again. 😉 My grandmother was Lebanese and made the most awesome Tabouli. Since I haven’t seen too many salads, I’ll bring it! I’ll start with the Chateaux Bonnet Entre Deux Mers 2006 and polenta triangles – they sound intriguing!
Mel, what a faboulous idea. Thank you for having us!
Please excuse my inebriation. I wasn’t planning to be able to drink this Thanksgiving, so I’ve gone a little heavier on Miriam’s wine that I normally would. (*hiccup*)
I am so incredibly grateful for this community, it brings tears to my eyes when I think about the friendships I’ve made here. I don’t know where I would be without all of you…
So, I brought appetizers. I know that isn’t always necessary at Thanksgiving considering the copious amounts of food we have, but I just consider it a primer for things to come. I brought Cranberry Brie Cups. Using a mini muffin pan, tap in round cut outs of philo dough. Then top with Brie cheese and a schmecken of crahnberry sauce on top. Bake at 350 until golded brown and bubbly! Enjoy!
Hugs to all, especially our hostess!
Wonderful idea!
I am very thankful for this community. The wonderful ladies here have helped me make it through this past year.
I brought my Grandma’s noodles. No matter what the holiday, she always made them. To me they are the embodiment of holidays and my memories of her.
Oh what a wonderful idea. I would LOVE it if my table on Thursday was full of all of these friends. What a divine conversation and friendship I would find!
I’m so thankful for everyone that I’ve met in this land. It reminds me daily that I’m not alone.
And since no Thanksgiving is complete without cheddar cheese mashed potatoes that I what I’m bringing.
Enjoy ya’ll!