Mark Zuckerberg Marries Priscilla Chan… Facebook Like
Perhaps it’s because I’m the blogging & social media editor for BlogHer as well as a sap for a wedding, but I totally jumped when I saw that Mark Zuckerberg married his longtime girl, Priscilla Chan, today.
What do you give as a gift to the founder of the largest social network and the newly-minted doctor? Since it’s near impossible to think up tangible gift ideas for twenty-something billionaires and newly-minted doctors, and since we could all use each other’s collective wisdom ourselves… leave your best piece of marriage advice. What makes for a successful marriage?
18 comments
I’ll kick it off:
Be effusive in telling your partner what you like about them.
And there are only two people inside a marriage — you and the other person. Everyone else is on the outside and their voice should never been at the same volume as the two people inside the marriage.
If you can agree on money, keep everyone’s separate. (Does this even apply when you have billions?)
Always give 100%. If you give 50% and expect your spouse to make up the other half, you will be left empty and disappointed. If both of you do this, you will be growing constantly!
I’m going to cheap out and link back to one of my posts, which has a story that teaches an important lesson about marriage: http://searchingforoursilverlining.blogspot.com/2011/12/weight-before-door.html
Here’s the punch-line: A fruitful and blessed marriage will be one in which the husband and wife (or husband and husband or wife and wife) struggle with life’s problems together, as one unified force.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Problems can’t be solved without that.
Communication!!! Also, as cliche as it might be marry someone who is your best friend!
Listen as much as you talk. And, as already mentioned, that comes with communication.
Being British (and together with my husband for 26 yrs ) I’d say don’t think about it too much!
Sometimes you SHOULD go to bed angry. A good night’s sleep will do more to resolve most arguments than staying up to fight, especially if you’re tired.
After almost 27 years there’s lots I could say… but I’ll share the piece of advice I always give when asked at bridal showers: Separate tubes of toothpaste. ; ) When we were first married, dh liked Crest & I liked Colgate, so for the first few years of our marriage, we had separate tubes of toothpaste, lol. (These days, we both use Sensodyne — aging tends to smooth out some of those bumps & individual quirks.) The deeper lesson being, you dont’ necessarily have to share everything or do everything together. If separate tubes of toothpaste make you both happier, why not? — it’s just toothpaste. Obviously, you will need to agree & find common ground on the bigger stuff, but why argue over something like toothpaste?
This sort of event seems to cry out for a registry at Heiffer International.
Forgiveness is important, but in order for it to work you have to be able to admit you are angry/hurt in the first place. That, and get a dishwasher, but I don’t expect that will be a problem for them.
I agree with so much of what has already been said. I am not always the best when it comes to putting it into practice, but focusing on what you LIKE about your spouse, and actually verbalizing it, is incredibly important. Too often we only speak aloud our criticisms. Mo and I also maintain separate checking accounts, which has helped us avoid fights over money. And I am terrible about it, but Tio is so right….going to bed angry or with things unresolved is often better than staying up all night fighting. Things will look so much better in the morning. In short….great advice here! And I need to do better about taking it. Thanks for the conversation, Mel!
Don’t forget to thank your partner when they do something on your behalf. Whether it’s replacing the tp without being asked or something more major, be sure to let them know you appreciate them.
Here’s my advice: start a blog!
It may sound like a joke, but I’m actually serious. My husband is always there for me, and I know he always would be, but I think it’s good for our relationship that I have my own space in which I can talk in as much depth as I want about miscarriage, getting through it, and trying again. Although he would if I needed or wanted, I know his own limits on talking about this are much more limited than mine. So my blog not only provides me the space I need to connect with others who understand, but also provides him with the respite he needs. Perfect for both of us!
Laugh. Laugh together. Laugh at each other. Laugh often.
In a marriage you grow, learn, and adapt to each other. I think it is important to keep some individuality. It is important to have a “date” night, but also important to have a “girls” or “guys” night out or activity. It does a lot for a person’s patience to get a little break away from the spouse.
Loribeth’s toothpaste advice made me laugh! It’s so true.
Don’t expect your spouse to react to situations in the exact same way you would react to them – especially the big, huge, scary things that happen in life. They won’t. But that’s okay. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
Sometimes it’s tempting to get the last word, so you can win the argument. But when you win the argument, that means your spouses loses. Don’t be happy when your spouse loses.