Category — Creme de la Creme

For the ninth year running, the ALI community kicks off the new year by celebrating our best posts of the last year.

So what is the Creme de la Creme list if this is your first time here? It was started as a response to the many blogging awards that are given out each winter. I expanded the idea of presenting “the best” to include a post from every blog in the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) world*. Every blogger has a personal best that deserves recognition. As editor of the list, I create the small blurbs after the title which serve as a doorway to the post. I hope they will help you find what you are seeking to read as well as show definitively the diversity of experience and emotion within the ALI community.

In the past, the list has been open for a bit after January 1st, but this year, submissions were only accepted from October 15 — December 15th. I will decide next fall if there will be a 2015 list, so look for news in October 2015.

Listed below are the best posts of 2014. As always, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated. Comments about the Creme de la Creme in general can be left on this post.

The Creme de la Creme of 2014

1. Scattered (from Stirrup Queens): The author finally connects her own infertility to her great aunt’s situation as she mourns the last of her grandmother’s sisters.
2. How Not to Handle Your Own Ignorance On the Internet (from Lavender Luz): After her post is ignorantly debated on another site, the author explains how to handle talking about subjects outside your ken without upsetting people.
3. Relegated to Spectator (from Me Plus One): A mother feels both the sting and pride that comes from her child growing up and becoming independent.
4. The Shore (from Inconceivable!): A beautiful take on the concept of loss being an unknown land across a figurative ocean; a quiet moment on the silent beach of infertility, wondering if she can make a life where she has ended up.
5. Guilty as a Self-Charged (from Will CarryOn): As the guilt of pregnancy after loss eats away at her, the author recounts the guilt she feels over the death of her twins and all the things she wishes she had done while she had the chance.
6. Practice (from Bio Girl): A very sweet moment between mother and son, when connection wins out over exhaustion, and baseball wins out over cooking.
7. Surrogacy Costs: A Guide for Intended Parents (from Reproductive Law Blog): A lawyer explains the financial costs of surrogacy.
8. I Am Important (from The Brooding Woman): The lessons learned after the author takes a step back from seeing herself through the lens of her ex-husband and realizes that she is an important, smart woman.
9. My Postpartum Anxiety: Part 1 (from Muddy Boots and Diamonds): Because the outsider needs to understand, the author explains how postpartum anxiety feels and how it affects her daily life.
10. Epic (from Two Kids and Counting Slowly): “The author says it perfectly: “”there’s just too much
    of every damn thing”” when it comes to infertility, and she lets the reader feel the weight, the enormity of the situation.”
11. Thankfulness (from Project Progeny): Taking care of a sick child juxtaposed with admiring a parent she sees in the airport creates fertile ground for exploring the far-reaching emotions of parenting.
12. Five Years of Going On (from RunningNekkid): Mourning her child’s stillbirth, the author reflects that grief is not just coming to terms with the death, but also the idea that life continues on. The junction where her brother’s birthday meets her child’s loss.
13. Beating Wings (from Res Cogitatae): Anxiety and anger are imaginary birds — practically tangible — fluttering on the author’s shoulders, squawking over every moment as a reminder.
14. Shadow and Light (from Something Out of Nothing): Sunshine and rain, blues and greys, create a lovely contrast in this post about her newborn daughter.
15. And the Results Are… (from Weathering Storms): After struggling with speech delays, the author’s son ends up shooting ahead verbally, not only catching up to but surpassing his peers.
16. Finding Meaning Questions – Take 2 (from Torthúil): A totally fascinating project: the author interviewed herself about infertility both after the diagnosis and many months later to see how her answers changed with experience.
17. 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility (from Amateur Nester): For 31 days, the author offers up a unique prayer to G-d in regards to her infertility and invites others to do the same.
18. Saying Goodbye (from Diary of a Little Chicken): A heartbreaking farewell to her child the day before they know they will have to say goodbye as she tries to prepare herself for the unprepareable.
19. How Candy Crush Saga Ruined My Marriage (from Haircut and a Divorce): A series of events, starting with a cash withdrawal at a casino, leads to the end of the author’s marriage while she is pregnant after infertility.
20. Independence (from A Plus Effort): A heartbreaking post of a child who is working hard to grow up but encounters the harsh slap of another person.
21. Fear is Faith in the Wrong Things (from Adventures For Four): Rather than feel the excitement that should be hers for the taking, the author is struggling to have faith in a pregnancy coming after loss.
22. One Month (from Days of Grace): Loss has created this author’s ability to see the quiet courage in getting through those first months with a new baby.
23. Grieving, Breathing (from The Infertility Voice): On Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, the author additionally grieves a loss through suicide and muses about death, life, and the close calls.
24. I Saw My Donor Today (from Misconceptions About Conception): A mind-blowing post about fate as the author — through a strange coincidence — comes face-to-face with her anonymous donor in an unlikely space; the airport.
25. Strength and Vulnerability (from A Hummingbird Paused): While the author thought she had drawn hard lines in the sand, she discovers as she navigates infertility that things she never thought she could do suddenly seem do-able when faced with the idea of not becoming a parent.
26. A Picture of Urine-Soaked Paper Disguised as a Request for Opinions on Old Guide Books (from Journeys of the Fabulist): Deciding the children themselves are proof enough of the pregnancy, the author tosses the urine-soaked sticks she kept from when they discovered they were expecting.
27. Perfection (from No Ways to Say It): The author learns not only that perfection is impossible to obtain but that she doesn’t want to try for it, choosing to embrace the real vs. the fantasy.
28. The Myth of the Biological Clock (from Family Building with a Twist): The author states that while feminism can’t change the basic fact that our fertility has a shelf life, it can fight the good fight to put policies in place that don’t penalize women careerwise for building their family on their own timetable. A great piece about the intersection of fertility and feminism.
29. Wishing (from It’s Just a Box of Rain): After a long list of wishes, the author states the one thing she would never ever change if given the opportunity for unlimited wishes.
30. Infertility Taboos… It’s Time to Stop It (from Unpregnant Chicken): If infertility is as common as statistics state, shouldn’t it stand to reason that it should be acceptable conversation material? The author makes a strong case for why we should talk about infertility.
31. Month 55 – Letter to Quinn (from The Rumour Mill): A mother writes a letter to her daughter, wondering what sort of world she is leaving her to inherit on the day when a soldier is killed in a terrorist attack in Canada.
32. Late Night Inspiration (from Serenity in Chaos): The author explains how offensive what is said to those childless-not-by-choice is when seen through the lens of other life events and situations.
33. A Very Special Visit (from My Lady of the Lantern): The author finally goes to visit her daughter’s grave for the first time, and she talks about the thoughts the visit stirs up inside her.
34. Full House (from Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms): Through timing and fate, the author learns about another person’s pregnancy, and experiences both the happiness and grief that comes from talking about a baby-to-be. A beautiful post about coming to a place of peace and understanding (and excitement).
35. Little Triggers (from My Path to Mommyhood): The author observes someone else grieving as a result of a triggering conversation, and she muses on her own triggers and how they come when we least expect them; that our scabs aren’t strong enough when we’re still close to the moment to hold them back.
36. Announcing & Remembering (from Breathe Gently): During the time when she should have been announcing her pregnancy, the author instead announces her miscarriage. Her blog becomes the receptacle to pour all of her memories of that child, to mark that her child once existed.
37. Brain Dump (from Manapan’s Space): In a post that covers a lot of ground, the author explains that her partner is a trans woman and how that connects with the end of their family building journey as they remain a family of three.
38. And Rest in Unvisited Tombs (from The Road Less Travelled): A moving post about genealogy and family and the visiting of graves. The author wonders who will visit her grave after her death since her only child was born still. And yet she finally concludes that we can never know who will find comfort in visiting where we rest.
39. From Contemplation to Preparation (from When Agony Met Hope…): A wonderful post showing the steps her brain takes to get the author to the point where she realizes she wants to try donor embryos to build their family.
40. Who is Really Lucky? (from Mrs. Slick): An important post to read about how wrong people are when they describe adopted children as “lucky” and how the energy flows in the opposite direction — from parent down to child.
41. What I Hate About Infertility (from Old Lady and No Baby): The author laments the custom for infertile bloggers to feel guilty when they finally do build their families or step away from trying to conceive, and she begs writers to continue blogging their stories, enjoying every moment of the after period.
42. Mother to a Stillborn Baby (from A Second Line): Mothering is a feeling not an action in this important post about the author’s child who was born still.
43. Lucky No. 14 (from The Awesome Fossums): The author introduces the readers of her blog to the fact that she is infertile and what goes into their family building process right now.
44. The Flood and After (from Invincible Spring): A gorgeous post about life finding you just when you believe that all hope is lost, a reminder that flowers can grow even in ground that has been pelted by heavy rains.
45. Flights of Fancy (from It Only Takes One): The author ties together the disappearance of a flight with infertility, asking why she finds other people’s hope unbelievable when she goes through the same reaction month after month.
46. #Microblog Mondays: Blink (from Infertile Girl in a Fertile World): Time jumps ahead quickly in the blink of an eye, but the thought that keeps the author going is that one day she will be seeing her child’s face.
47. Ladybug (from A Single Journey): A moving post about how ladybugs — a sign of luck — have been following the author and were even there when she connected with her daughter via adoption.
48. Overcoming Insecurity (from Constant in the Darkness): The author admits the fears she has as an adoptive mother and makes a vow to overcome them; for her sake, for her daughter’s sake, and for the birth mother’s sake.
49. We Don’t Heal From Suffering, We’re Changed by It (from Silent Sorority): The author states: “I certainly didn’t choose to suffer but I’m thankful for what the suffering taught me.” A post about why one shouldn’t rush through the hard times, trying to sweep them under the rug.
50. The Thing About Infertility (from Looking for a Little): A lovely post explaining to the outsider how infertility feels; how it affects a person every day.
51. Open Letter to Women of Infertility Everywhere (from The Courage in Me): An open letter to infertile women explaining the infertile experience with a hard-earned “I know, too.”
52. Divine Appointments, and I Am Doing Well (from In Quest of a Binky Moongee): Time at a retreat brings both understanding and comfort as the author processes a recent loss by speaking about her experience.
53. Stuck (from Persnickety Chickadee): The what ifs of infertility control the author’s schedule, making her uncomfortable to plan for the future, not knowing what the future will be.
54. Milestones (from Searching for Our Silver Lining): A meditation on the concept of milestones; especially the ones that don’t come on the expected timetable, arriving early or late or out-of-order.
55. Infertility’s Waiting Room (from No Kidding in NZ): A metaphor about the conclusion of family building built off the doors leading out of a figurative waiting room with the cautious reminder to not only see the surface moments as one steps through the door but know there is so much you can’t see until you step fully out of the room.
56. Late for the Party (from Mine to Command): As the author’s friends become parents, she muses that family building has a lot in common with parties, especially the desire to arrive at the right time and not too early or very late.
57. Tough Conversations with a Four-Year-Old (from Four Years Later): The author’s child finally is at an age where he understands that he has a brother in the past even if that brother is no longer here, though he can’t wrap his mind around the idea of not having a sibling to play with in the future.
58. Mother (from The Empress and the Fool): The author comes to a new definition of motherhood, quite different from what she experienced in her own family, and decides the mother she wants to become.
59. Reviewing the Loss: Thinking and Feeling it Through (from Seeing Thestrals): Despite knowing how little control we have over a pregnancy, the author states that we cannot help but assign self-blame with a loss, and she gives sound advice on a better way to view the situation.
60. What Does it Mean to be Mentally Ill? (from Bereaved and Blessed): Speaking openly about secondary infertility and loss has positioned the author to be ready to speak about her mental illness diagnosis, and she speaks frankly about life with generalized anxiety disorder.
61. Perspective: Perfect Woman (from Dreaming of Diapers): The author points out how little we know about another person based on outward appearances, as two women covet each other’s bodies.
62. Why Miscarriage Matters When You’re Pro-Life (from The Lewis Note): A request that those who are pro-life treat all loss in the same way, applying the same words spoken about an abortion to a baby that is miscarried. This is a post about carefully choosing the words we use to comfort another person.
63. Family Resemblances (from By Lisa, with Love): The author takes apart the features and movements of her family (and herself) and sees them in her daughter.
64. A Thousand Words (from On Fecund Thought): A beautiful letter from mother to daughter, cherishing each feature and pointing out the wonder that comes from seeing someone else’s DNA in someone you love with your entire heart.
65. How Infertility has Changed Me in a Positive Way (from BattleFish): The author says it perfectly herself, “Infertility, with all of its ugliness, has taught me how to be more compassionate, less judgmental and see more beauty in this world.” It’s a silver lining rarely considered by the outside world.
66. Back to Work on Monday (from Non Sequitur Chica): The author laments and consoles as she heads back to work after the birth of her daughter, steeling herself for reality with a deep breath created out of words.
67. Still in the Trenches (from Genuine Greavu): The longer the author remains in the throes of the infertility, the more times she will need to say goodbye to the people around her who are also trying to build their family. She celebrates other people’s successes while admitting it is hard to still be trying.
68. The Daughter of My Dreams (from A Crack in Everything): It is both painful and hope-creating to remember the vision of a future child that once flashed through the author’s mind. It’s about realizing that there is a time for avoidance and a time for embracing, and the key is to be true to what you need in the moment.
69. Histopathology (from Sesame-seed-sized Dreams): A beautiful post a pomegranate tree for a lost child that finally bore fruit, fed with the milk that never touched her lips.
70. Still Standing and a Heartbreaking Choice (from Girl Ryanne): The author is stunned by the comments that came from the infertility and loss community, directed at one of our own, and she pleads for understanding and comfort to be given instead of fingers pointed.
71. MicroblogMonday: What a Feeling (from Kmina’s Blog): A wonderful post about reaching a point in life where the author likes herself. Where she doesn’t fret about the things she can’t change or berate herself for the things she gets wrong. It is about finding a place of peace.
72. Are You Psychic, Baby? (from Crazy Ever After): A tongue-in-cheek post about consulting a psychic (by app, no less) about the question I think most of us would ask if given the chance: when is that baby going to come.
73. Infertility, the Gift that Keeps on Giving (from Something Remarkable): In the throes of editing a poetry collection about infertility, the author is confronted with reminders of the journey.
74. 1 Year Ago Today at 7:00am (from An Engineer Becomes a Mom): On the year anniversary, the author recounts an adoption experience that ended with many broken hearts and explains how it changed her understanding of adoption.
75. What Kind of Mother Are You? (from A Woman My Age): The author points out that no one scrutinizes dads in the way that we label and judge mums, and she wonders why we don’t do more to support rather than tear each other down with our opinions.
76. TSH and Tears (from POF and Now What? Life with a Baby through DE-IVF): The author begs to be released from the image she has in her mind of a large family so she can be happy with the one she has and not feel jealousy.
77. The Lost One (from Another Bun (in the oven)?): The author wonders what it means if she has forgotten her unfulfilled due date, and she realizes that this too is part of her process; that it’s a part of her healing.
78. TFMR and the Loss Community (from Missing Noah): After fearing for a long time that she wouldn’t be accepted in the loss community, the author sees exactly what she dreaded in the comment section of an article about medical termination and it breaks her heart first before ultimately filling her with hope.
79. That Imaginary T-shirt (from Teach Me to Braid): A wonderful post about the things we wish we could instantly convey to the people around us as well as musings on why we feel such a deep need for strangers to know these facts.
80. Dedicated (from Something Beautiful): The author recounts her daughter’s dedication at church, a moment six years in the making, and how it was attended by 9 members of her daughter’s birth family. A perfect moment of restoration.
81. Bless You (from Life As I Know It): A rude exchange with a stranger gets turned into a moment to teach her sons how much she loves them and how wonderful they are in their uniqueness.
82. Assembly (from River Run Dry): The author explains why she runs. It isn’t for health or to prove her endurance. It is because running makes her whole; it puts her back together.
83. One and Done? Deciding if Only One Child is the Right Thing to Do (from My Life Is About the Journey): The author doesn’t know whether to try to have a second child, and she recounts the various pros and cons of the situation, additionally wondering if her experience with infertility will be the same emotionally the second time around.
84. The Promise of a Christmas Card (from A Storybook Life): The piece the author performed at Listen to Your Mother: she speaks of the Christmas card wall at the clinic; the one showing the smiling babies of former patients. It’s about how she once viewed that wall as well as her chance to finally contribute to it.
85. The P17 Drama, Anatomy Scan, and Firefly (from Where I’ve Been… and Where I’m Going): A drawn out battle with the insurance company and a bleeding scare results in a solution to a medication problem as well as the discovery that the author is having a baby girl.
86. I Know I am Still Infertile Because… (from No Good Eggs): Though the author is a new mother of two children, she still recounts the ways she knows she is infertile despite reaching parenthood.
87. The Twins Birthstory (from Knocked up by Another Man): A very scary bleeding episode leads into the birth of the author’s twins as well as her own trip to the ICU. You’ll hold your breath reading this birth story, but I promise that it ends well.

Past Creme de la Creme Lists

Like what you read? Peruse an old Creme de la Creme list from the past

• The Creme de la Creme of 2013
• The Creme de la Creme of 2012
• The Creme de la Creme of 2011
• The Creme de la Creme of 2010
• The Creme de la Creme of 2009
• The Creme de la Creme of 2008
• The Creme de la Creme of 2007
• The Creme de la Creme of 2006

*I aim for inclusivity, therefore, if you think you belong on this list, you probably do. From the newly-diagnosed to the treatment vets, from those still filling out paperwork to those with completed adoptions, from those who are trying to choose a donor and those parenting DI or DE kids; those who are completely confused on what to do and those who are peacefully–or not peacefully–living child-free. Biological infertility or situational infertility, being a single parent by choice, straight or gay, young or old — this list is about difficulties while family building, pure and simple.

So the Creme de la Creme list for 2014 closes tomorrow night.  Monday night, 11:59 pm ET, final moment to submit to the 2014 list.  After that, no entries will be accepted.  The list itself will post on January 1st.

This is likely also your final chance to be part of this 9-year project.  While I haven’t made a decision about whether or not this will happen in 2015, I am currently leaning towards this list — the 9th list — being the final list.  I’m not seeking feedback (I’ll make a decision next fall), but I’m letting you know my mindset so you don’t feel like you missed out if this turns out to be the last one.  You now know as much as I know.

I love making the list, but it is a lot of work.  And it feels like so many things that it has run its course.  It’s well-loved but well-worn.

Take a few minutes to peruse your archives and pluck out one post that you think is a good door for a person to enter your blog.  Don’t get hung up on the word “best.”  Perhaps replace that with “representative.”  Which post would you want to put forward from 2014 if someone told you that they wanted to see an example of your blog?

P.S. While you’re in there choosing a post, don’t forget to write one for tomorrow’s #MicroblogMonday.

It is the ninth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme, where we celebrate our corner of the blogosphere. 97 bloggers participated last year. If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know. If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when it’s revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2014 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010 or in 2011 or in 2012 or in 2013, the impulse behind this list is a counterbalance to the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2014 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section — the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2014 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 97 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000+ blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 150. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um… other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2014. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a meerkat. Can I participate?

Er … a meerkat with a blog? An infertile meerkat with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2014, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2014. Just choose your best from the last two months of the year.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission?

To ensure that you’re on the list, please fill out the form by December 15th. No entries will be accepted after 11 pm EST on December 15th.

In the past, the list didn’t close until January, but as has been the case for the few years, the list will not be updated after it goes up on January 1st. December 15th is the only deadline, and it is a hard deadline. Meaning, no one will be added who hears about this project after December 15th.

Which is why I am asking you, begging you, pleading with you, to spread word now. Tweet it, Facebook it, Pinterest it, blog about it, email about it, talk about it with that random stranger in the fertility clinic waiting room. Spread word now because people will not be able to add themselves after December 15th.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme list, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here. You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheeeew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.

For the eighth year running, the ALI community kicks off the new year by celebrating our best posts of the last year.

So what is the Creme de la Creme list if this is your first time here? It was started as a response to the many blogging awards that are given out each winter. I expanded the idea of presenting “the best” to include a post from every blog in the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) world*. Every blogger has a personal best that deserves recognition. As editor of the list, I create the small blurbs after the title which serve as a doorway to the post. I hope they will help you find what you are seeking to read as well as show definitively the diversity of experience and emotion within the ALI community.

In the past, the list has been open for a bit after January 1st, but this year, submissions were only accepted from October 15 — December 15th. If you would like to be on the 2014 list, make sure you look for the opening post in October 2014.

Listed below are the best posts of 2013. As always, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated. Comments about the Creme de la Creme in general can be left on this post.

The Creme de la Creme of 2013

1. The End of the End (from Stirrup Queens): The author explains that “it doesn’t matter how small you are; you can still be deeply loved.” A story of loss and processing infertility through Cozy the hamster.
2. Adding a Dimension to the Open Adoption Spectrum (from LavenderLuz.com): Proving that contact is not the same things as openness within open adoption, the author explains with a four-part grid how to always be striving towards the concept of openness.
3. Jealousy Sucks (from Me… Plus One): In a deeply honest post, the author lays bare the jealousy she feels for other parents who have more than one child while having gratitude for her daughter.
4. Today I Woke Up Crying (from Something Beautiful): A beautiful post about waking from a dream and feeling the crushing weight of realizing that it’s not a reality.
5. NICU Delivery (from Emma in Mommyland): Rather than collect more toys, the author asks people for donations that she bring to the hospital for her child’s birthday. But the trip to the NICU for the drop off affects her deeply.
6. CD19: Dosing Up on Clomid and Hope (from Donating Hope): The author deals with the absurdity that she has gone from being an egg donor to using Clomid since she doesn’t ovulate on her own, though a good session with the punching bag clears her head to bring her the clarity she needs.
7. Kindergarten Past, Present & Future (from Bereaved and Blessed): A moving post, written to her three children — two of whom are living and a daughter who died — to mark their experience with kindergarten: past, present, and future.
8. Trials and Trails (from A+ Effort): Revisiting a restaurant that was the site of a miscarriage, the author reflects on walking through it now with her daughter and wishing she had known then what her future held.
9. It’s Okay (from Here We Go Again): A wonderful post from a baby loss mother about how there isn’t a single way to process terrible events but instead giving people permission to mourn as they need.
10. Growing Pains (from Adventures for Four): The author puts away clothes that her daughter outgrows, wondering what to do with the “what if” pile and whether there will be a child in the future to wear it.
11. Never Going Back Again (from Arch Mama): After the author bathes her child for the first time, washing away the last remnants of her daughter’s time inside her body, she reflects on the healing from infertility that has taken place though it will always remain part of her story.
12. I Refuse to be Grateful for My Infertility (from Inconceivable!): The author writes, “Infertility is many things in my life, but it is not a blessing.” A post about how we don’t have to feel gratitude or positivity toward the obstacles life places in our path.
13. A Letter To MRKH (from MRKH Musings): In an open letter to her uterine anomaly, the author tells her body all the ways she hates it until she comes to a place of love, realizing what has come into her life as the silver lining to that dark cloud.
14. Painting Rocks (from Bio Girl): The author talks about how her son tells his aunt over and over again how he loves her and misses her in the unique way a child grieves after a death: by bringing her colours.
15. Where’d My Baby Go? (from Family Building with a Twist): A sweet, wistful post about a babyhood gone and with it, the giving away of items no longer needed.
16. A Letter to Me (from From IF to When): Now knowing the end of her infertility story, the author goes backwards and writes a letter to herself, four years younger and about to embark on the journey that will bring her through many setbacks but ultimately to her daughter.
17. A Mother’s Story (from Inklings): Telling the story of the death and birth of her son, Rowan, the author recounts the events in December when she learned that her child had no heartbeat to cradling her son after delivery.
18. Redirecting Your Thoughts (from In Due Time): A rallying cry for positivity even in the face of enormous obstacles such as infertility.
19. The Bracelet – the One She Never Got to Meet (from We Say IVF They Say FIV): A moving post from the author about losing her mother and gaining a son.
20. The Very Bad Time (from Little Chicken Nuggets): A helpful post that every pregnant woman should bookmark in case they need it in the future. The author discusses her personal experience with postpartum depression.
21. The Meaning of Hope Part II (from A Single Journey): A beautful tribute to Hope, the author’s grandmother. Her name takes on new meaning as the author explains how much this woman meant to her, and how much she will miss her now that she’s gone.
22. Mind Over What Matters (from Will CarryOn): A frank post about going on medication after the loss of her twins. The author writes, “I should be able to get through this on my own will and determination, right? Wrong.”
23. The Reason (from Genuine Greavu): Exploring the topic of faith in regards to infertility, the author explains that while she doesn’t understand why she is infertile, she believes that she will see G-d’s work in dealing with her diagnosis.
24. Not Really Alone (from Bébé Suisse): A wonderful post about how it’s never too late in a pregnancy to take that step back from anxiety and just enjoy the moments you do have together, realizing the connection and what you always carry with you.
25. The Un-Anniversary (from The Brooding Woman): On an unfulfilled wedding anniversary, the author reflects on how she is better off without her ex-husband, and the small silver linings to their situation.
26. It’s Okay to Not be Okay (from Stupid Broken Eggs ): In a world where no one will admit to their foibles, the author muses on what it means to say she’s not okay after the death of a friend, and how different the world would be if we all said aloud that we’re not okay.
27. Note to My Mom (from BattleFish): On Mother’s Day, a daughter writes the mother she lost all the things she was supposed to be here to do, see, and say.
28. This Is… (from Kmina’s Blog): Capturing a time period of pure happiness to keep in an Internet jar and peek at in years to come so the heart never forgets.
29. A Breath of Fresh Air (from My Cheap Version of Therapy): A post about why embracing the happiness of parenting was an important part of the author’s healing after infertility.
30. Is the Unlived Life Worth Examining? (from The Road Less Travelled): Living childfree after infertility in a world full of children is a constant reminder of the road not taken, but the author reminds us that the road she’s on contains wonderful things too.
31. My Rose Bush (from Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker): After she literally sets down roots into motherhood, she figuratively sets down roots with a rose bush, a plant that has always symbolized parenting, to mark her first Mother’s Day.
32. Survivors’ Guilt (from Somewhere in the Middle): The author recounts her first Mother’s Day as a parent after dreading the day for nine straight years. Surrealness marks this moment of change, from waiting to mothering.
33. What’s Passed On (from My Path To Mommyhood): Standing in the gluten-free aisle kicks off the author’s musings on what we inherit and what she won’t get to pass along — good or otherwise. And how the people who carry us and surround us influence us much in the same way as DNA.
34. In My Shoes (from Who Shot Down My Stork?): A day in the life of an infertile woman, hour by hour, with a gorgeous ending that captures those moments that you carve out together, holding each other.
35. A Rebuttal (from MoJo Working): A rebuttal, point for point, to a hurtful comment that was left on a post explaining why the author doesn’t like Mother’s Day that goes on to suggest that there is a lot of mothering that is done by non-mothers, and all of that love should be recognized and honoured.
36. National Infertility Awareness Week: For Good, Not Griping (from Wee Hermione): A wonderful post for Infertility Awareness Week asking, “Why do healthcare lemonade stands not fill everyone with rage?”
37. Forty Eight Hours (from Baking & Babies): The birth story of Kennedy summed up by this line: “After two years of trying, nine months of waiting, and a very long two days of labouring, I was holding my little girl. Nothing else mattered.”
38. Blessing this Day (from PoemFish: Thoughts from an adoptive lesbian poet mom): A very moving post (be prepared with tissues) about sisterhood and anticipation and loss and blessings. A loving tribute to the author’s niece, Gwendolyn, and what this girl who was lost awakened in the author.
39. Jimmy Fallon’s “Coming Out”: Celebrations and Concerns (from Ready To Be a Mom): A thank you to Jimmy Fallon (with a few concerns) for speaking about infertility because as the author states, every time a celebrity uses their platform to talk about it, it brings understanding to the general public.
40. What Kindness Looks Like (from My Lady of the Lantern): A post about treating others and herself with kindness, choosing the more gracious road than the otherwise.
41. What I Can’t Forget (from Kate; Uncensored): While the author believed at one time that certain dates no longer held power, she learned otherwise as they passed. A post about remembering.
42. #EMOTIONS (from Mommyhood after Fertility Frustration): After a good birthing experience, the author is blindsided by her trouble with breastfeeding and talks about how she processes that experience.
43. Tik Tok Tik Tok 1-1-1 (from While We Were Waiting): A post marking the one year anniversary of starting the adoption process; the hope and the waiting and the dreaming.
44. On Acceptance (from Two Adults, One Child): In the peace of an early morning drive, the author remembers her child on her unfulfilled due date with quiet acceptance.
45. My Dance Partners (from Can I Get Some Sugar with These Lemons?): Moving from strangers to family, a mother and son figure each other out, and she takes those lessons learned to her next child.
46. This Chapter is Closed (from BagMomma): Closing the chapter of her life on infertility, the author beautifully summarizes it with this: “And all those things I gained? I may have lived a lifetime and never found those gifts.”
47. A Sales Pitch to Our Day 3 Embryos (from It Only Takes One): A note to her embryos, enticing them to keep growing and return to her body in exchange for “total devotion and boundless love.”
48. Hopeful Mornings (from Waiting to Expand): Every so often, the author lets down her guard and allows herself to hold baby clothes, dreaming.
49. Infertile? Don’t Work at an Art Gallery (from Baby Makin’ ): The author’s artistic job brings her close to children, and she wonders if she will ever have a paint-covered child of her own.
50. Georgia’s Birth – Part IV {Our Baby is Born} (from Breathe Gently): The final installment of her daughter Georgia’s birth story, with pictures to boot.
51. Nothing (from In Quest of a Binky Moongee): The author finds peace after mourning an arrested cycle that ends without transfer.
52. Second Birthday (from Non Sequitur Chica): A post about the two dogs that fill her heart with love, along with really really really cute pictures.
53. Taking It Day By Day (from By Lisa, With Love x): Two separate losses invoke two different emotional reactions, and the author catalogues how she is finding herself again.
54. Why, Yes, I Would Like to Host a Parasite (from And the Vial Makes Three): Two mothers-to-be-one-day recount how they came to the decision over which one would carry their child.
55. Join the Movement: Second Class Infertile (from My Preconceived Notion): For Infertility Awareness Week, the author discusses how age creates a divide (that doesn’t need to be there) in the infertility community.
56. Family is Everything (from Pail Bloggers): The author talks about her relationship with her child’s birth family, explaining why she chooses open adoption.
57. When Does TTC Become an Obsession? (from Amateur Nester): At the heart of this post is a question: “At what point do all the treatments, tears, money, and anguish turn into something unhealthy?”
58. The Most Important Lesson I Ever Learned (from A Good Mother): Advice that came during one of the worst moments of her life continues to serve the author through some of the best ones.
59. Not Just Baby (from Life as Two): An explanation of the far-reaching reality of what it means to live childfree after infertility; both what it is and what it is not.
60. Eye of the Storm (from Chossing Grace Today): The author compares grief to the life of a storm: the pounding rain, the moment of calm, and then the emotions spinning around again like heavy winds.
61. Our Miracles (from Our Griswold): Though it didn’t feel like a short time while she was living it, the author reflects on how lucky she is to now have her twin daughters.
62. Journeys: Buddha and Ammo Boxes (from I Can’t Whistle): Grief is a life partner in this post about a road trip to bury the past, literally and figuratively.
63. Knowing Our Limits; Even When It Hurts (from Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork?): In researching adoption, the author explains that adoption isn’t easy and it may not be the right fit for all families.
64. My Adoption Backstory and the Epiphany (from An Engineer Becomes a Mom): The author discusses her own past in regards to adoption, and it becomes an explanation for why she chose open adoption for her child.
65. This Mother’s Day (from A Woman My Age): On Mother’s Day, the author reflects on how other women are experiencing this day, from those who are not parents to her child’s birth mother.
66. My Middle Man (from Parenthood for Me): Capturing a moment of her child’s babyhood before he grows into the man the author knows he’ll become.
67. Waiting Room (from Teach Me to Braid): A post about how the fertility clinic waiting room differs from the regular doctor’s office as the author wonders about everyone else’s story.
68. Surviving Hospital Bed Rest (from Home Grown Love): A helpful post that you may want to bookmark just in case you need it in the future on how to survive hospital bed rest.
69. 4 Week Reflections (from Constant in the Darkness): A beautiful post making sense of open adoption where the author admits, “I will always recognize that Moonbeam is also Aurora’s daughter, and that this doesn’t compromise my position.”
70. I Can’t Help but Wonder Where I’m Bound (from Mine to Command ): A father-daughter dance at a wedding kicks off the author’s musings on how life will change when they have a child.
71. 3 Weeks and Hot Air Balloons (from Dear Noah): Trying to make sense of losing her son on the one month anniversary after his death and birth.
72. My Family and the 21st Chromosome (from Roccie Road): Deciding not to move forward with a CVS, the author explains that they will come to a place of peace if they do face Down syndrome.
73. The Exhilarating Tension Between Being and Becoming (from Baby Smiling in Back Seat): The cool, flowing movement of the moon salutation becomes the balance to the author’s usual state of pushing herself toward the sun.
74. Unsafe (from Desire to Mother): Losing the safety of childfree friends who start to procreate and having a job working with children places the author in a precarious position.
75. Over 40 and Few Eggs Left: Case of My Friend Elena.B. (from Get Pregnant After 35: Improving Egg Quality): A post detailing the author’s opinion that women should try to improve their own egg quality for six months before turning to donor eggs.
76. Never Regret Love (from Catching Our Rainbow): After a loss, a person is going to hurt regardless of what they do to protect themselves. So choose love.
77. On Perfectionism (from Em-i-lis): Coming into the knowledge that she is real person, and real people aren’t perfect. She writes, “So I am trying to find comfort in being the imperfect self that I truly am, recognizing that though some won’t like it, others will.”
78. A Yellow Jacket (from Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms): The author recounts the emotions she felt seeing her goddaughter in a jacket that she thought her own child might wear one day.
79. Casting off the Chains of Infertility: Fertility Diary, The Life of Pi and the Search for Peace (from Silent Sorority): The author speaks about kicking her addiction to fertility treatments and how there needs to be a counterpoint out there to all the hope given by the media.
80. On Babies and a Change of Heart (from Princess Burlap): Though her husband once upon a time didn’t want children, he has since had a change of heart that fills the author with both hope and questions.
81. The Words We Feed Ourselves (from Don’t Count Your Eggs): The author points out that while we’re extra mindful of the foods we put into our bodies, we’re not as mindful of the words we put into our minds in regards to infertility.
82. The Dirty Word: A Hobbit-ish Paradigm Shift (from Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings): A wonderful post about how the limiting viewpoint she was given as a child was discarded when infertility opened her eyes to the world of feminism.
83. My Due Date and What I Got Instead (from Aging Baby Maker): During a week when she should be welcoming her child, the author instead recounts the numerous ways her life has changed since her loss.
84. I Have A Lot to Learn (from Life As I Know It): A simple conversation with her son about parking spaces sets off a larger bomb of ideas inside the author’s head.
85. Dear Pregnant Self (from No Good Eggs): A note to her pregnant self reminding her to enjoy this pregnancy and embrace it in its entirety.
86. Out of the Closet (from Birds, Bees, and Medicine): After telling some co-workers and her boss about infertility, the author feels a sense of peace; there is no one else she needs to tell right now and nothing she needs to hide.
87. It’s Not Your Fault (from Persnickety Chickadee): “It’s not your fault” is a statement that gets dissected and examined as the author recounts her losses.
88. The Great Big Lie About Personhood Legislation (from The Infertility Voice): A rallying cry against personhood bills that limit a person’s ability to create their family.
89. Three Minutes (from #GoTeamZoll): The ritual of hand washing before entering the NICU becomes a metaphor for how the author’s life has changed since the birth of her son.
90. On Judgment (from Res Cogitatae): Understanding her priviledge and how we often judge others and fear that we are being judged as we go through the work of parenting.
91. Two Years (from A Crack In Everything): A wonderful post on sobriety, why she chose it, and how we can live our lives differently even in the worst of times.
92. How Many People Does It Take to Make a Baby? (from Laughing at the I-Word): Awkward moments in family building when the normal two-some to make a baby becomes… ten.
93. “If You Don’t Have Kids, You Don’t Understand.” (from No Kidding in NZ): Taking apart the statement “if you don’t have kids, you don’t understand,” the author explains just how much those without children notice even as their own situation goes unprocessed by the other side.
94. Breaking Up (from Where Love and Chaos Reign): The author formally says goodbye to infertility, leaving it as a closed chapter in her life that gave her two children but no longer gets to control her emotions.
95. We Went for a Walk Last Night (from Something Out of Nothing): The repetition of the words “we went for a walk last night” creates a rhythm through which the author weaves a thread of hope.
96. Charmed (from TheStorkDiaries): Choosing tangible reminders for the children she lost, the author would rather have her real babies here than carried around her wrist.
97. Mama Is Lost (from Weathering Storms): The Creme de la Creme ends on a touching note, as a mother realizes her child’s special needs, longing to hear him call her mama. It captures that feeling of lostness that comes when you realize how much of life is out of your hands.

Past Creme de la Creme Lists

Like what you read? Peruse an old Creme de la Creme list from the past

• The Creme de la Creme of 2012
• The Creme de la Creme of 2011
• The Creme de la Creme of 2010
• The Creme de la Creme of 2009
• The Creme de la Creme of 2008
• The Creme de la Creme of 2007
• The Creme de la Creme of 2006

*I aim for inclusivity, therefore, if you think you belong on this list, you probably do. From the newly-diagnosed to the treatment vets, from those still filling out paperwork to those with completed adoptions, from those who are trying to choose a donor and those parenting DI or DE kids; those who are completely confused on what to do and those who are peacefully–or not peacefully–living child-free. Biological infertility or situational infertility, being a single parent by choice, straight or gay, young or old — this list is about difficulties while family building, pure and simple.

It is the eighth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme, and it is fitting that we open it on Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day. Words can light a figurative candle. 156 bloggers participated last year. If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know. If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when its revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2013 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010 or in 2011 or in 2012, the impulse behind this list are the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2013 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section — the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2013 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 156 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000 blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 200. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um… other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2013. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a hedgehog. Can I participate?

Er … a hedgehog with a blog? An infertile hedgehog with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2013, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2013. Just choose your best from the last two months of the year.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission?

To ensure that you’re on the list, please fill out the form by December 15th. No entries will be accepted after 11 pm EST on December 15th.

In the past, the list didn’t close until January, but as of last year, the list will not be updated after it goes up on January 1st. December 15th is the only deadline, and it is a hard deadline. Meaning, no one will be added who hears about this project after December 15th.

Which is why I am asking you, begging you, pleading with you, to spread word now. Tweet it, Facebook it, Pinterest it, blog about it, email about it, talk about it with that random stranger in the fertility clinic waiting room. Spread word now because people will not be able to add themselves after December 15th.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme list, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here. You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheeeew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.