The Washington Post had a somewhat great opinion piece on Dolly Parton last week, pointing out that “She was a reassurance … that parenting is far from the only way to invest in the kids who are all of our future.”

I say somewhat great because the repeated framing (emphasis mine) is that she hadn’t wanted kids.

• “She was a vocal nonparent who nevertheless cared greatly about kids.”
• “She was proof that a person could be an advocate and friend for children while personally choosing against parenting.”
• “She was a reassurance that voluntary childlessness doesn’t reflect inherent selfishness.”
• “Parton was a hero in ‘child-free’ circles, too, for publicly recognizing the choice to not parent as a valid and rewarding one.”

The writer acknowledges, “In the early years of her 58-year marriage to Carl Thomas Dean, Parton has said, she tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant.” But then goes on to keep repeating this narrative of they didn’t want to parent, which feels like they’re only telling part of the story, which is closer to they wanted, they couldn’t have, they made a choice based on that information, and they lived happily ever after.

Dolly saw the positives in not having children, felt at peace with the decision, and was even happy that things happened as they did. But her story was never, “Nope, never wanted to parent and glad I stuck with that.” Life is more complex than what can be contained in a handful of quotes.

And I kind of wish they had also used the space to point out that there are so many reasons a person wouldn’t have children along with so many ways we can all invest in the future generation.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I’ve written before that we put on first-person walking videos and walk in place in front of the television listening to an audiobook. This site is a really good compilation of these types of videos with steady camera work. As you can imagine, not all first-person videos are well-filmed, so you want to head toward YouTube accounts that do a great job filming so you don’t get dizzy as you walk.

We watch videos before we go somewhere new so we know our way around before we get there. Or we revisit places we love and walk there. Or, frankly, sometimes I just sit and watch, remembering being in a space.

Enjoy.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.

This is a monthly series, published near the end of the month summarizing what I found, ate, watched, googled, and felt this month. New categories added from time to time.

Books Added to My TBR (e.g., books I just learned about that I’m excited to read… maybe)

• The Witches of Cambridge (Alice Hoffman)
• The Good Parts (Evann Normandin)
• The Infinite Sadness of Small Appliances (Glenn Dixon)
• Between Yesterday & Tomorrow (Luan Goldie)
• Laura Clark Is Away from Her Desk (Helen Russell)
• The Year of Living Danishly (Helen Russell)
• The Fox of Kensal Green (Richard Tyrrell)
• Time Travel for Beginners (Jaclyn Moriarty)
• Oscar from Elsewhere (Jaclyn Moriarty)
• We (Christelle Dabos)
• Twist (Alice Feeney)
• The Murder Mystery Mystery (J.D. Brinkworth)
• Karro (Jenny Mustard)
• The Brightness (Chad Harbach)
• Fair Ones (Lydia Millet)
• Fallow (Sarah Anderson)
• Helle in Venice (Oskar Jensen)
• Members Only (Emma Rosenblum)

Notable Meals (new recipes, old favorites, and restaurant items we ate this month)

• Smitten Kitchen’s cacio e pepe. She claims it’s foolproof, and I completely agree. But the clean-up was bonkers. So… delicious, easy to make, but difficult to clean up.
• I’ve already written about making tiramisu, but it’s worth another mention because it was delicious and easy.
• Vegetarian wonton soup.

Television, Movies, and Music (watching and listening)

• We are four episodes into Unacceptable. It’s a standard comedian panel show where they share unacceptable opinions and try to convince the audience to agree with them. It’s very funny.
• Mali turned us onto Would I Lie To You, another panel show where comedians tell a story and the other team have to decide whether it’s true or a lie. We play along at home, but we’re terrible at it.
• We started the new season of Ted Lasso. It’s a little rough around the edges, but we love being with the cast again. Plus I like that it’s a new team vs. more of the same.

Added To My Ongoing Mix Tape

• “Don’t Look Back in Anger” (Oasis)
• “Somewhere Only We Know” (Keane)
• “Karma Police” (Radiohead)
• “Wishing Well” (Sananda Maitreya)

Tabs I Left Open (things I Googled and left up on the screen)

• The words to the “We like to drink with…” chant.
• The Wikipedia page for Myrddin Wyllt, thanks to a book I was reading.
• A simple sugar bun recipe.
• Tom Kerridge meat-free recipes.

Micro-Joys

• This may be the most adult sentence ever, but I felt true joy when the plumber charged us the same amount he estimated the job would be.
• Watching a tiny Atlantic ghost crab for an hour crawl out of his hole, toss some sand, and then race back down to hide.
• Choosing a book at random and having it be the perfect read on the beach.

Mood

• Super sad that the twins are going back to college soon.

What about you? Let me know what you’re eating, seeing, listening to, googling, feeling this month.

I am now the owner of a new coffee maker. Our old coffee maker stopped working, and after some scientific Googling, the Internet agreed it was probably a blocked valve. No problem. I found a tutorial on YouTube, and asked the Wolvog if he wanted to help me fix the issue.

“That looks like an afternoon activity,” he mumbled, half awake.

Or, I decided, it could be a now activity. I first tried to remove the tubing, which ripped because it was about 15 years old and completely dried out. No problem because the local hardware store assured me that if I brought in the tubing, they could cut me new tubing to the same size.

Because the tubing already needed to be replaced, I decided I could cut into it to get to the one-way valve. Big mistake. The piece shot out of the tube and shattered on the floor. My broken coffee maker was now broken beyond repair.

We went out and bought a new coffee maker that night because we could not live without caffeine. It was sad to say goodbye to our coffee maker, but it had a good life. Right? I feel like if I had just opened the tube over a soft surface, I would still have our old coffee maker.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

And now the blogs…

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But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ proves research correct: When we feel terrible, helping others can make us feel better. She gives advice and guidance to a friend about to go on a trip, pulling in her own extensive travel knowledge. Personally, I would love her to set up my eSim on my next trip. She’s a good friend.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix celebrates creating the life she wants to live. She talks about the last move: “I didn’t want to do any of it. I did it anyway. And I’m calling this the finish line. I did it. I’m done. I have arrived. It’s time to stop and smell the roses. I created a life I want to live.” I love that. What a gift to yourself.

The roundup to the Roundup: Welcome to our home, new coffee maker. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 21 – 28) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.

We went to the beach because it was going to be the last summer to go to that particular stretch of beach. Nature had been washing out the parking lot, and the town finally decided to give up trying to save that patch of land and instead spent the last two years moving the beach a mile or two down the road.

It has been a long goodbye. We thought last summer was the last summer, but they pushed the move back one summer. We went to the beach last winter to watch them demolish the nature center. It has only been a few months, but the grass currently covers the old ground as if the building never existed.

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We went to the beach because it was going to be the last time we could go on the Haunted Mansion ride. We go every year for my birthday, and they announced this winter that they were closing the ride at the end of this summer and building a new Haunted Mansion ride using the original designer to open in 2028. I didn’t want a new ride. I wanted my janky old Haunted Mansion.

We got to the park over a half hour before the ride opened, but the line was already past the end-of-line marker. We got in the queue, and the woman in front of us commented that the entire state had shown up this summer to have one last ride. I love that thought; that we all made this pilgrimage across the marsh grasses and yellow sand to reach this ride, one last time.

Before we went, I thought we might go on a few times. But we got our one turn and left after I whispered goodbye to Frankenstein’s monster.

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We went to the beach because it was going to be the last summer I knew we would all be together. We weren’t even really together. We were mostly apart. But I really don’t know where they’ll be after they graduate. It’s like their senior year of high school x 1000. At least then I knew they would have breaks back at home.

I know we’ll still travel together, but we’ll have to make hard choices. If they have limited vacation time, we’ll have to choose whether they want to do A or B. We don’t know if we’ll all be able to take off at the same time. I hate not knowing how things will turn out.

Every summer since they’ve been two, we’ve taken the same photo in front of the same statue in the town center. We missed a year during the pandemic, but we mostly have a visual timeline from toddlerhood to grownupland. I made them stand in front of the statue when we went into town to pick up dinner. I didn’t care that we were all sandy from the beach, our hair frizzy and clothes sunscreen-stained. They stood side by side and smiled, and I snapped, wondering if we’d get to do it again next year.