You’ve gone through the posts in Operation Heads Up (see below on side bar) and now you have specific questions. If only you could email someone directly who has already completed an IVF cycle or vent to someone who is currently parenting after infertility. Hence the birth of the Peer Infertility Counselor List. Just like those peer counselors who were somehow deemed capable of giving you advice during those high school years, these people have volunteered to have you contact them if you have a question about a specific topic. It helps to put the topic in the subject line of your email, and let them know that you got their name from the peer counselor list. Some people are listed under more than one category. A few people have chosen to remain private, but are willing to talk to you. A few names are linked to my email address and I will forward them to the correct person. Feel free to link to this list on your blog.

This list is constantly updated. If you would like to be added to an existing category or create a new category, send me an email at thetowncriers@gmail.com. Most of the people on this list are NOT medical professionals–they are simply Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters just like you. Who are perhaps a bit further in the process or perhaps on a different path. They will be speaking from their own personal experience and not from a medical background. Also know that it may take them a day or two to get back to you. If you are having trouble connecting to someone on this list, please let me know.

Diagnoses

Ovulation Issues

Tina, Aubrey, Stacie

Uterine Anomalies

TeamWinks, CH

Fibroids

Michelle

Male Factor

L, Serenity, KE, Julie, Amy, Artblog, Marie (CBAVD), Kami

Hypothalamic Ammenorhea

Lisa, Molly

Clotting Factor

Lisa P. (MTHFR), M, Michelle, Stacie (MTHFR), DG (Antiphospholipids), Gabrielle.

Luteal Phase Defect/Low Progesterone

Mel, Stacie

High FSH

Mel

Premature Ovarian Failure

Robyn

PCOS

Dee, Rachel, Kel, Aubrey, Stacie, Susannah

Endometriosis

EJ, Julie

Thyroid Conditions

EJ (Hashimoto Hypothyroidism), Stacie

Unexplained

Carolyn, K, CH, Natalie

Diagnostic Procedures/Surgery

HSG

Tara, Mel, EJ, K, Michelle, Aubrey, Stacie, Natalie

Saline Sonogram

Kel, Aubrey

Hysteroscopy

Tara, EJ, Stacie

Laparoscopy

Tara, EJ, Julie, Natalie

Medications

Provera

Mandolyn, Kel, Stacie

Clomid

Mandolyn, Mel, Michelle, Aubrey, Stacie, Susannah, Natalie, Emily

Metformin (Glucophage)

Stacie

Follistim

Mel, K

Menopur

Molly

Gonal-F

Julie

Synarel

Julie

Puregon

Artblog

Prometrium

Mandolyn, Mel, Aubrey, Stacie

hCG (Novarel)

Mel, Aubrey

Femara

EJ, Emily

Folgard and Aspirin (for clotting issues)

Stacie

Subcutaneous Injections (sub-cue)

Mel

Synthroid

Stacie

Heparin

Treatments

IUI

Tina, Mel, Carrie, K, Michelle, Aubrey, Kami, Vee, Molly

IVF

Serenity (with ICSI/Fresh or FET), Jamie, Tara, K, Linda (with ICSI), Julie (with ICSI/Fresh or FET), Vanessa, Kami

PGD

Lisa, Mary Ellen

Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS)

Bea, S

Third Party Reproduction

Donor Sperm

L, Eric, Vee

Donor Eggs

Carrie, DEMummie, Robyn, Abogada, Marna, Gabrielle.

Egg Share

Vanessa

Embryo Donation

L

Gestational Surrogacy

Tara, Kymberli (a surrogate herself!)

Adoption

International Adoption

Dee, S

Domestic Adoption

Robyn (open adoption), Lori, Katd

Adopting a Second Time

Robyn

Pregnancy Loss

General Emotions

Tina, Mandolyn, Dee, Paige, Artblog, Susannah, Kami

D & C or D & E

Tina, Mandolyn, Dee, Ka, Artblog, Kami

Tissue Testing

Tina, Kami

Recurrent Loss

Tina, DG, Kami, Amy, Emily , Catherine

Ectopic Pregnancies

Jamie, Catherine

Blighted Ovum

Vee, Heidi

Molar Pregnancies

Ka

Multifetal Pregnancy Reduction

Marie

Pregnancy Loss while Parenting Others

Tina, Artblog

Remembrance of Pregnancy Loss

Tina, Artblog

Marriage and Pregnancy Loss

Tina, Artblog

Neonatal Death

Kami

Second Trimester Loss

Jen

Living Child-Free

Katie

Secondary Infertility

Rachel, K, Aubrey, Artblog, Stacie

Taking a Break

Tina , Susannah

Male Perspective of Infertility

Josh, Smarshy, Eric

Stopping Treatments (switching paths)

Dee , Susannah

Being a Self-Advocate

Tina, Carolyn

Dealing with Insurance Companies and IF

Josh

Living Far From Clinic/RE (or going out of state for treatment)

Tina, Lisa, Jamie, K, Bea

Work-Related Issues and IF/Pg Loss

Tina , Susannah

Hyperplasia

S

Hysterectomy

S

Uterine Cancer

S

Trying to Conceive After Cancer

L, Amy

Trying to Conceive With Diabetes

Lyrehca

Trying to Conceive Over 35

Piccinigirl, Michelle , Heidi

Weight and Trying to Conceive

Stacie, Susannah

Coping Tools (acupuncture, yoga, meditation)

Serenity (acupuncture, yoga, meditation), Carrie (Reiki), Bea (Tai Chi), Susannah (acupuncture)

Changing Clinics/REs

Lisa, Aubrey

Depression from Infertility

Tara, Aubrey, Stacie (also Prozac and TTC), Susannah, Natalie

Speaking About Infertility With Non-Infertiles

Rachel, Aubrey, Susannah, Natalie

Having Many Pregnant Friends

Susannah, Natalie

Relationships (friends and family) and Infertility

Pregnancy After Infertility

Mel, Carrie, Michelle, Aubrey

Parenting After Infertility

General Emotions

Mel, EJ, K, Michelle, Aubrey, Catherine

Twins

Mel, K, Linda

Prematurity

Mel, Robyn

Friends and Family

(Non-infertiles helping other non-fertiles understand infertility)

Pam

I’m an organizer. It’s what I like to do. I like to clean. I like to take all the post-it notes that collect around the computer and write the notes onto one neat list. I like to have different colour-coded folders where we place all necessary documents (okay, so this last one is a fantasy. All important documents get piled ON TOP of the stack of neatly labeled folders with the plan being that I will one day file them away in their correct place).

Hence why I am reorganizing the blogroll once again. I am breaking up some of the larger lists into smaller subsections. So pregnancy and parenting after IF will split into multiple groups: after adoption, after third-party reproduction, after treatments (even when the pregnancy happens spontaneously without treatments). In categories that are small in size, I may leave a blog even if it moves on to be about parenting just because people can search the archives for past posts. This will take me a few days to complete. And just when you get comfortable, I’ll mix it all up again.

Which brings me to my next idea. You know how most high schools had those peer counselors? The cool kids that the psych teacher decided could give you advice even though they’re just as messed up as you (can you tell that I wasn’t chosen to be a peer counselor. And, yes, Mr. Stewart, I still am a bit bitter)? Many times people write me with their specific situation and I point them along to a certain blog or two where a person has a similar issue (and perhaps great information to pass along). But what if we created a sort of peer-infertility-counselor list? Our twin club has this–a list of topics with email addresses beneath if the person is willing to speak about her experience with a certain topic (so I am listed under Apnea, NICU, Bradycardia/Tachycardia in our twin club since those are topics I can speak about to another nervous parent who is going through the experience).

Think about your own IF experience–especially anything unusual in your diagnosis or general treatment path. If you’re willing to have other people email you and ask you questions (or point them towards your blog if it has a lot of info on a certain subject), let me know and I’ll start creating this list. It can be anything from being a BBT expert to Ashermans to chromosomal translocation (oh–and that last one on translocation, if you’ve done IVF with PGD for this, let me know because someone wrote me today who wants to speak to someone about this). You don’t need to have a medical degree to offer peer counsel. Just a willing ear to lend and a bit of information to pass along.

So, just to get you started thinking about what you would be willing to speak about, here are some general topics. Add, add, add to this list. And if you’re looking for someone to speak to about a specific topic, post a comment here as well.

Adoption (any step in the process, deciding between domestic and international, reversal, parenting after adoption, TRA, etc.)

Third Party Reproduction (DE, DI, Surrogacy, parenting after third party reproduction, left over vials of sperm, no vials of sperm, etc)

Pregnancy Loss (D & C, general emotions, tissue testing, Ashermans, etc)

Diagnosis (every single male and female diagnosis out there from PCOS to low motility to LPD)

General (how you chose to live child free, how you took a break from treatments, being a self-advocate, choosing an RE, creative problem solving when you live far from an RE)

This list could go on and on. You can either write me directly (thetowncriers@gmail.com) or post a comment here. Let me know which topics you’d like to speak about, the name of your blog (if you have one), and your email address. I think how the list will be created is that there will just be a name under the heading and by clicking on the hyperlinked name, it will take you to the email address (and feel free to create a new gmail or yahoo account for this, but do check it in case people write) rather than having email addresses listed in plain sight for spammers to poach. Let me know if there is a better way to do this.

They must know that I’m mocking them because this afternoon, I opened the door to find myself face to face with another cricket–this one hanging off the outer glass door. So, just to set the scene, there is my normal door and a glass door. And the cricket was on the inner pane of glass. A few inches from my face. When I opened my normal door.

I quickly slammed it shut and then wondered how I was going to work up the courage to get out to my car. Because, yes, I really am that scared of crickets. Even when they’re not in my hair. I called my mother–not because she could really do anything about it over the phone, but because I needed to know that someone else was in this with me.

About that time, I heard the school bus dropping off kids outside. So I mustered my last drop of courage (okay, my only drop) and threw open my normal door, threw open my glass door, and raced outside holding a fly swatter, slamming the normal door behind me so it couldn’t get into my house.

A little boy–we’ll call him Little Bastard Who Wants Me To Die a Slow, Agonizing Death From Fear-Induced Heart Attack Over the Aforementioned Cricket (or LBWWMTDASADFFIHAO TAC for short)–was walking towards me and I asked him to take the cricket off my door. And little brat–chock full of stranger danger stupid mottos–muttered that he didn’t like crickets either and kept walking. You’re a little boy! Your whole life is about disgusting things like crickets. You’re probably going to walk in your house and roll around in a big pile of crickets in three minutes anyway. Can’t you just help me, LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC?

I called out to him, “you’re braver than I am!” because that’s how pathetic I was in the moment. Thirty-something woman standing on her front steps, trying to entice a small boy to remove a newborn cricket from her door (and yes, I really am more scared of it than it is of me). My purse and book bag were still in the house, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live knowing it was still on my inner door (and able to slip inside). So I used the fly swatter to knock it away.

Of course, as luck would have it, it landed in the door crack. But I wouldn’t know this fact until I reopened my front door and it hopped inside with me. In a fit of panic, I stomped on it, screamed for two minutes, and flushed it down the toilet. Damn you, LBWWMTDASADFFIHAOTAC. Don’t I have enough stress in my life without having to kill my own crickets?

And no comments, Murray. You’re bringing the wrath of the crickets upon me!

For this hypothetical question (or perhaps not-so-hypothetical for some of you), you need to imagine yourself pregnant and confined to bed rest. The purpose of this bed rest is to either prevent a miscarriage (if it’s before 20 weeks) or prevent premature delivery (post 20 weeks). And it’s going to last for a while. You are able to do a bit of work on a computer from the bed, but you’re not able to walk around the house, much less go food shopping or prepare for the arrival of the baby.

What would you want people to do for you? Have one person become your personal secretary and organize all of your friends to come by the house daily? Have people drop off meals and then leave you alone? Drive your exisiting kids to school if you have any? Take your husband out for decompression time? Would you want friends to stay with you in the house or just give you the money to hire someone to help? Your opinions on what you would want–as specific as possible. With reasons if applicable.

I know what I would want, but I’m not sure if the general public also needs man-servants massaging their feet 2 hours every day…

Last night, the piles of papers had gotten to be too much. There were receipts scattered across my night stand, old issues of Family Building on the floor, and three crocheting projects in various stages of completion stuffed inside my closet. I turned on Desperate Housewives (another murder affecting the women of Wisteria Lane? Truly? What the hell is wrong with that street and Bree’s choice in men? By the way…you know that Bree is going to become pregnant this season to match Marcia Cross’s sweet donor egg pregnancy. Though, of course, Bree will conceive naturally since G-d forbid they actually present a realistic version of fertility treatments and donor egg conception) and sat down with some Pledge and a roll of paper towels.

And what was stuck in a large pile of papers that were given to us upon discharge from the hospital two years ago?…

Er…quick side note…I would like it stated that I DUST weekly. But that dusting means that I clean all surfaces while I keep piling up the papers and magazines. So…um…there may be some old papers hanging around the bedroom or living room. Old important papers. And issues of People Magazine that have headlines referring to red-hot television shows such as 90210 and Melrose Place.

So, back to that nice pile of a papers that I went through last night. There was a helpful two page handout on thrombophilia given to us by the doctor who delivered the kids. Clotting disorders. You know, the thing I spent an hour researching last week before the appointment so I could speak coherently to my doctor. The things I THOUGHT I knew nothing about until recently. Which I could have known more about if I actually read and retained the handouts given to me by doctors.

It was a strange find. And one that seemed to warrant a blog entry about the treasures you’ll find if you start going through the piles.