Dear Americans:

We’re not really sure how to explain this phenomenon, but it seems that recently we have sold an unusually high amount of our #814 embroidery floss. While this pomegranate-coloured string has traditionally been a poor seller, it has flown off the shelves as of late leading to a crisis for embroiders. Until we solve this problem, we are encouraging people to plan their projects without the need for this colour.

Thank you,

CEO of DMC Thread Company

So…we’re settled on #814…aren’t we? It’s been unanimous thus far and I’m assuming that few people are going to weigh in with thoughts between now and the morning. So…(shifts from foot to foot for a moment, glancing at the clock)…I mean, we’re settled, right? #814 it is.

The graphic is…well…the only graphic we have. Therefore, I say, let’s just use it for the time being. If this was a giant fundraising campaign, I would say that we should wait until we have the best possible visual and the best possible write-up…possible. But this is an information passing campaign. And we should just pass along the information. So, feel free to pass along these words and images via your own blog. Tie on a thread. And start spreading the word. And tell me how to put this image on my sidebar.

I loved Royalyne’s words and I’ve used them as a jumping point. I think it needs to be succinct. And there needs to be two versions–a short version and a long version. So below are two drafts. Make suggestions, changes, additions, opinions.

Short version:

Infertility. Simple word with a complicated definition. Yet whether one has difficulties carrying a pregnancy to term or is unable to conceive naturally, our common emotional response is the same: anger, frustration, depression, shame, guilt and loneliness. One in seven Americans will experience infertility and a far greater number are affected by this silent problem. Tie a pomegranate-coloured string (a longstanding symbol of fertility) around your wrist to start a conversation, make a connection, provide an education, and end the silence. This common thread that binds us can be the common thread that builds community as well as building understanding between the fertile and infertile worlds. With a simple thread, infertility doesn’t need to be a lonely experience.

Longer version:

Pomegranates, a longstanding symbol of fertility, serve as a strong analogy to those suffering through infertility. Though each pomegranate skin is unique in colour and texture, the seeds inside are remarkably similar from fruit to fruit. Though our diagnosis is unique—endometriosis, low sperm count, luteal phase defect, or causes unknown—the emotions, those seeds on the inside, are the same from person to person. Infertility creates frustration, anger, depression, guilt, and loneliness. Compounding these emotions is the shame that drives people suffering from infertility to retreat into silence.

The pomegranate thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through A.R.T., families created through adoption, or couples trying to conceive during infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose. These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility.

Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware.

And then there’s the informal version:

Listen, you damn Stirrup Queen or Sperm Palace Jester. Tie the freakin string on your wrist so I can place you on the right side of the sliding scale when I see you pregnant at Starbucks.

Sigh.

I’m off for the one-hour massage promised by my fantastic, wonderful husband. And I promise, no more thoughts about infertility tonight.

Pomegranates, a longstanding symbol of fertility, serve as a strong analogy to those suffering through infertility. Though each pomegranate skin is unique in colour and texture, the seeds inside are remarkably similar from fruit to fruit. Though our diagnosis is unique—endometriosis, low sperm count, luteal phase defect, or causes unknown—the emotions, those seeds on the inside, are the same from person to person. Infertility creates frustration, anger, depression, guilt, and loneliness. Compounding these emotions is the shame that drives people suffering from infertility to retreat into silence.

The pomegranate thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through A.R.T., families created through adoption, or couples trying to conceive during infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose. These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility.

Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware.

Join us in starting this conversation about infertility by purchasing this pomegranate-coloured thread (#814 by DMC) at any craft, knitting, or variety store such as Walmart or Target. Tie it on your right wrist. Notice it on others.

Okay, so the graphic is still being constructed using Microsoft Paint. But what can you do. We’re getting closer! When I typed the subject line just now (was this just a slip of the fingers?) I wrote: The Common Threat. The threat of infertility? No, the threat on your life if you ask me one more time if I think fertility treatments are a good idea. Hee-ya!

Just to sum up the comments: Royalyne had an excellent point that took the movement in a focused direction. She spent a hard morning googling pomegranate images and she finally came to this conclusion: though each pomegranate skin is different in shade and texture, the inner seeds are all alike. The common thread of pomegranates.

And I love this because one thing I’ve realized writing the book is that while everyone has a unique way they want to be support or have a loss remembered, we are pretty unanimous as to what types of comments/questions aren’t helpful. Infertility brings out the same emotions across the board–inward anger, outward anger, depression, frustration, anxiety. It’s the common thread regardless of which path you use to create your family.

So I’m placing my vote with common thread. And I changed the graphic so give your opinion. I wrote on the top “wear to make aware” since the point to the string is to have people ask you about it so you can speak openly on infertility AS WELL as to give other Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters you might meet a visual clue about our commonality. To take infertility out of taboo-topic status so that the general public becomes educated about issues and knows the best way to be supportive.

And all of this is to say that it’s all open until tomorrow morning and I will keep changing the image as new ideas roll into the comments section. It seems like #814 is winning insofar as colour (watch us get to the store and find out that #814 has been discontinued). Mandolyn has a great point about writing up a simple explanation for the Common Thread Project (a simple answer when someone asks why you’re wearing the thread) and I think there should also be a larger statement to put on blogs, post on message boards, send out to fertility clinics and adoption agencies, etc. Do people want to start contributing ideas to this statement? If anyone has a good idea for an image, suggest that as well (and if you have graphic design experience, all the better). Let anyone you can know about this so they can put their ideas into the comments section as well.

So keep the ideas coming…

You never know where your week will take you. On Monday I was fretting about what a bitch I am when it comes to other people’s pregnancies and by Tuesday night, I’m storming into Operation Pomegranate.

Yes, divine Ms. C, you did use the term “fun” to discuss something related to infertility (gasp!). Not as much fun as donning knee-high boots and accompanying a husband into the sperm palace, but fun nonetheless. Not just fun–community-building. A way to not ruin someone else’s coffee break with the casual movement of a wrist. A way to identify with someone else standing in line at the movie theater.

A way for all of us to just start talking about it. With everyone. And putting it out there. And not making miscarriage a dirty word. And not whispering that we’re infertile. And putting the real facts out there so that I’m not faced with one more idiot telling me that I’m going to have seventeen children if I (gasp) utilize A.R.T. And a way to explain to people that yes, they are my real children. And yes, that is offensive. And yes, it’s much more common than you think.

So my visual was obviously constructed with Microsoft Paint. Which makes it look like it was constructed with…Microsoft Paint. Which may or may not be a terrible thing. It’s a place to get started. So–simple design (a twist of string, a string twisted into the shape of a pomegranate, a string…doing stringy things?) and a simple message. That cannot be Stirrup Queens Unite. And I’ll tell you why.

Because there are Sperm Palace Jesters. And there are babies conceived with A.R.T. (and I would think DI Dad could have used something like that–a little string tied around baby’s ankle that would make everyone in the waiting room say to themselves, “aaah…secondary IF after primary IF”). But saying “Stirrup Queens, Sperm Palace Jesters, and A.R.T. babies…Unite!” seemed a bit too long. Therefore…

If people do not like the visual (and the visual is pretty much solely to post on your sidebar to educate others about Operation Pomegranate), someone needs to step up and make another one because I’ve exhausted my computer graphic skills at this point. My very very limited computer graphic skills. That extend solely to Microsoft Paint.

AND we need to come up with a slogan that goes along the bottom. Something inclusive. Something catchy. Something that could become the rallying cry of the Land of If. All suggestions accepted from now until Thursday at 9 a.m. Voting will commence from 9 a.m. until noon on Thursday (all Eastern Standard Time). Unless there is a pretty unanimous movement towards one posted suggestion. In that case, we’ll all just be lazy and go with that one. Did I say lazy? Well, that is our right.

If I were more computer savvy, I would also set up a poll to do this, but I must accept who I am. We must vote on whether to go with #814 or #718 (see the comments on Raise Your Right Hand–Unite for details if you’re just joining us). So voting is open between now and 9 a.m. on Thursday. Cast your vote for one of these two colours.

Now go be creative!