The sidebar was getting a little cluttered, so I moved a bunch of images and links onto the this post to cleanup the sidebar but still keep these posts accessible.

The Stirrup Queen’s Public Living Room

Just Your Average Public Living Room

WISHES

Need a Wish?

The Wishing Stone Challenge

Tale of the Little Wishing Stone

Team On the Road (2008)

Why You Should Donate to Team On the Road (and join the team yourself)

Team On the Road: Stirrup Queens, My Perky Ovaries, and In Search of Biscuit 2.0 (so far)

Money Raised: $3398
The 2007 Creme de la Creme

Last Updated: 2/17/08 10:25 a.m.

The Virtual Lushary: An Online Bar Where Everybody Knows Your Name

History of the Virtual Bar

Past Drinkfests at the Virtual Lushary and Cocktail Recipes

The Old Missing Pieces

I know that writing this after blogging for a year and a half and then backdating it is a little strange. I should have written all of this ages ago. But right now seemed like a good time to yank a single post together that contains relevant information that you might like to know.

• My name is Melissa. I usually sign everything Mel so people get confused and sometimes call me Melanie, which is an honest mistake. But my name is actually Melissa.
• I used to blog under the name The Town Criers. I still use it sometimes. When this blog turned two-years-old, I chose the name Lollipop Goldstein. You can read the whole story here.
• My husband’s name is Josh.
• We have twins that I call the ChickieNob and Wolvog on the blog. They were conceived via fertility treatments, namely an IUI with injectables cycle. We are currently doing treatments again to conceive a third child, though we’re taking a break for a bit.
• I think the post that best gives you a sense of the history of this blog as well as what is important to me is this one.
• I live my life by Gandhi’s adage: “you must be the change you wish to see in the world.” I also live my life by the Beatles quote: “in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” I love a good quote. I also firmly believe that everyone is welcome here and anyone in need of support will receive it here. The reason why can probably be found in this post.
• I have a book forthcoming from Seal Press in spring of 2009. It’s about infertility and pregnancy loss. It’s called Navigating the Land of If. Click here to go to the book’s website.
• I love talking about publishing and writing with other writers so feel free to write me with questions or comments (more on my email in a moment).
• I love reviewing books. I really only review books that are about or tangentially related to infertility, pregnancy loss, or adoption. Sometimes I’ll also review books about prematurity and twins. And when I say tangentially, if it’s a work of fiction and infertility is a background plot device, I’ll read it and review it. If your book is not even remotely related, I’m not a great site for you anyways because I pretty much only blog about infertility, pregnancy loss, and the like. I also run an online book club with over 100 members and 20-30 participate for each book. We’re all happy to be introduced to new books but because we vote on what we’re reading far in advance, there may be a wait to get to your book. So…to sum up…if you are an author or a publicist, I’d love to help you out and read your book and if I don’t have time in my schedule at the moment, I’ll let you know when you email me and call me Melissa, not Melanie. The only thing I ask of you when asking bloggers for reviews is to spend a little time on my blog (or on any of the other blogs associated with the book club) and get to know the space. After all, we’ll be spending hours with your book; you should know who is reviewing it before you ask.
• If you just learned about the online book club for the first time and you want to join, you can always jump to the current book that we’re reading via the link on my right sidebar. We’re called the Barren Bitches Book Brigade and we’re open to anyone in the infertility/pregnancy loss/adoption community (past or present).
• My email address is thetowncriers@gmail.com. I’m usually pretty good about writing back within a day or two so if you don’t hear from me after a week or so, send another email. Truly, I never ignore emails unless they’re off-topic and spam-like. I’ve also been described as “pretty nice” and I think that refers to the fact that people can feel comfortable writing me even if they haven’t been a long-time blog reader or regular commentor (if anyone wants to chime in with a testimonial about my emailing skills, feel free in the comments section).
• On the topic of emails that are off-topic or spam-like, as of 4/22/09, I am not responding to emails asking for me to hawk a product or link to an off-topic site or anything that essentially amounts to free advertising for a product or organization (the exception being non-profits, on-topic books, or documentary films). I just get too many of them and while it feels rude to ignore an email, it also feels rude to have someone use your good nature and email inbox. So, just making the blanket statement here: the answer is “no.” If you wish to purchase an ad on the site and put actual money into the ALI community and UTERUS, you can follow the directions from that link.
• I love receiving comments; who doesn’t like feedback? Many of my posts are salon-like in nature and invite answers or commentary. I’m all for disagreement, as long as it’s polite. I will remove any comments that I deem off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited. If you return to my blog and see your comment gone (really, why are you coming back to check on your comment?), that should probably be your clue that I thought your comment was off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited. Rather than write another comment that is off-topic, rude, or mean-spirited that I will also remove, please simply click away from my blog. This space is not for everyone even though I try to be as inclusive as possible. Maybe my writing style grates on you or maybe you have a problem with type-os, of which there are probably many. And that’s fine. I have a huge blogroll, so if you’re looking for other IF/pg loss/adoption blogs, there are many to choose from on the list. On the other hand, if you do like it here, please stick around and keep reading. And leave a comment from time to time.
• If you want to be on the blogroll and you have a blog that fits in any of the categories on the blogroll, send it my way and I’ll add it. It speeds things along if you pick your category for me or write me a little bit about yourself so I can choose a category for you. People can only appear in one category–sorry, the limits of the blogroll service.
• I also run the Lost and Found and Connections Abound, which is a daily newsletter summarizing life in the IF/pg loss/adoption community. If you haven’t seen it yet, click over and check it out. If you need support or have an announcement, send it my way. If you’re reading other blogs and you see news that is Lost and Found-worthy, send it my way too. When I put up a new post on the Lost and Found, I change the link on the post of this blog which is labeled “The Daily News.”
• I also write a weekly column for BlogHer. It comes out on Thursdays. And I do freelance work from time to time. As a freelance writer, the answer is “yes, I’d like to write for you” if yo
  u are a publisher looking at my site. Just in case you were wondering.
• I am also a kosher vegetarian. And I bake all of my own bread. And usually ask others all of my technical questions when it comes to blogging. And I’m a great multi-tasker (just in case you were going to ask me how I get everything done).
• Sometimes I refer to my siblings as Hansel and Gretel on this blog.
• And I guess I’ll keep adding to this page, which I’ve backdated so I can find it easily, as time goes on and new information pops up and should be added or changed.

Thanks for reading all of this. Anything that wasn’t covered, you can ask me via email. Happy reading: I hope you find this blog helpful and comforting. Or funny and enlightening. Either, or or all.

This is the story of the stone soup header…

For 2 1/2 years, I didn’t really care what my blog looked like. It’s sort of like our house. I like it neat and clean, but I don’t need it decorated. Our furniture doesn’t exactly match. And by “exactly” I mean not at all. The best we have going is an overall theme of the same fake wood colour from Ikea (it’s birch! Except it’s not!). But suddenly, one day, I CARED. I cared so much that I wanted to tear down the whole blog until I could figure out how to make a header and clean everything up. Luckily, I didn’t because I seem to be frightfully bad with understanding how to make a header.

Calliope created it for me (and she’ll create one for you too if you wish). We emailed ideas back and forth for a few days and tossed out several tries before we fell in love with this one. The thing is that I have been reading Calliope for years, from her old blog to her current one, and our lives have crossed so many times. I had no idea when I first started reading her blog that she would one day redesign mine.

The picture comes from Vee. I first saw it on her illustration site. Vee and her husband, Max, are both artists and I started reading their blogs at the same time back in the summer of 2006. Again, back in 2006, I had no idea how things would unfold, but I am touched beyond belief and honoured beyond words that she let me use this image on the blog. Not just because of how perfect it is to me but because it comes from her–one of the longest read blogs in my Reader.

This picture is how I imagine the Land of If–the world of infertility. There is a quiet honesty that comes out at night. It is a time when people are still and reflective. When people pause from movement to listen. I love the thin houses, the mountains in the background. Doesn’t the space look insurmountable, but cozy? A space unto itself, but part of something larger? I have loved that picture for so long and I was so grateful when she told me I could use it.

Two extremely creative and talented women, one grateful blog owner, and a header.

It seemed like a good idea to compile all the old book tour posts into a single post so that people could find the lists and questions and participants of all the old book tours in one place. I’ve also added upcoming tour information as well as online author chats. Interested in the current tour? Want to join along? There is always a link to the current book under The Bookshelf on the right sidebar).

Barren Bitches Book Brigade (*with author participation)

Tour 19: Navigating the Land of If by Melissa Ford*

• Start Date: May 26
• Questions Due: June 24
• Post Date: June 29

Past Tours and Online Chats

• starting the online book club
• directions and sign-up for the first book tour
• my post for book tour one: the ultimate insider’s guide to adoption
• read along page for book tour one
• interview with elizabeth swire falker

• directions and sign-up for the second book tour
• final directions and sign-up post for the second book tour
• questions for book tour two: children of men
• my post for book tour two: children of men
• read along page for book tour two

• call for ideas for book tour three
• voting for book tour three
• directions and master list for the third book tour
• final directions and sign-up post for the third book tour
• questions for book tour three: the time traveler’s wife
• my post for book tour three: the time traveler’s wife
• read along page for book tour three

• directions and master list for the fourth book tour
• questions for book tour four: waiting for daisy
• my post for book tour four: waiting for daisy
• read along page for book tour four–group a
• read along page for book tour four–group b
• read along page for book tour four–group c
• online interview with peggy orenstein

• directions and master list for the fifth book tour
• questions for book tour five: the kid
• my post for book tour five: the kid
• read along page for book tour five–group a
• read along page for book tour five–group b

• directions and master list for the sixth book tour
• questions for book tour six: love and other impossible pursuits
• my post for book tour six: love and other impossible pursuits
• read along page for book tour six–group a
• read along page for book tour six–group b
• online interview with ayelet waldman

• directions and master list for the seventh tour
• questions for book tour seven: happiness sold separately
• my post for book tour seven: happiness sold separately
• read along page for book tour seven–grou
  p a
• read along page for book tour seven–group b
• online interview with lolly winston

• directions and master list for the eighth tour
• online voting for the next few tours
• questions for book tour eight: the handmaid’s tale
• my post for book tour eight: the handmaid’s tale
• read along page for book tour eight–group a
• read along page for book tour eight–group b
• read along page for book tour eight–group c

• directions and master list for the ninth tour
• online interview with darci klein
• questions for book tour nine: the jane austen book club
• my post for book tour nine: the jane austen book club
• read along page for book tour nine with online interview with karen joy fowler

• directions and master list for the tenth tour
• questions for book tour ten: embryo culture
• my post for book tour ten: embryo culture
• read along page for book tour ten–group a
• read along page for book tour ten–group b
• online interview with beth kohl

• directions and master list for the eleventh tour
• questions for book tour eleven: mistress’s daughter
• my post for book tour eleven: mistress’s daughter
• read along page for book tour eleven–group a
• read along page for book tour eleven–group b
• online interview with am homes

• directions and master list for the twelfth tour
• questions for book tour twelve: water for elephants
• read along page for book tour twelve

• directions and master list for the thirteenth tour
• questions for book tour thirteen: the empty picture frame
• my post for book tour thirteen: the empty picture frame
• read along page for book tour thirteen

• directions and master list for the fourteenth tour
• questions for book tour fourteen: eat, pray, love
• my post for book tour fourteen: eat, pray, love
• read along page for book tour fourteen–group a
• read along page for book tour fourteen–group b

• directions and master list for the fifteenth tour
• questions for book tour fifteen: harriet the spy
• my post for book tour fifteen: harriet the spy
• read along page for book tour fifteen

• directions and master list for the sixteenth tour
• questions for book tour sixteen: exact replica… (coming soon)
• my post for book tour sixteen: exact replica…
• read along page for book tour sixteen

• directions and mast
  er list for the seventeenth tour
• questions for book tour seventeen: never let me go (coming soon)
• my post for book tour seventeen: never let me go
• read along page for book tour seventeen

• book shower: so close by tertia albertyn

• questions for book tour eighteen: the red tent (coming soon)
• my post for book tour eighteen: the red tent
• read along page for book tour eighteen

• directions and master list for the nineteenth tour
• questions for book tour nineteen: navigating the land of if (coming soon)
• read along page for book tour nineteen

• directions and master list for the twentieth tour
• questions for book tour twenty: moose (coming soon)
• my post for book tour twenty: moose (coming soon)
• read along page for book tour twenty (coming soon)

Past Winners of the Book Slogger Award

2006-2007: Beaten But Not Bowed (Drowned Girl) and Southern Infertility (Samantha)

Shop Thoughtfully…

Parenting a child is an expensive endeavour. But having to pay just to get to the starting line is salt on the wound of infertility. The exorbitant cost of treatments or adoption can put having a child out of reach for the average person.

The people below are using their creativity to fund their treatments or adoption. When you shop at any of the following online stores, you are not only getting a fantastic gift for yourself or another person, but you are supporting someone in their quest to become a parent.

Please spread the word by linking to this post or sending out the url for others to use over the holidays or whenever they’re in need of a gift. If you are undergoing treatments or adopting and would like your business to be added to the list below, contact me at thetowncriers@gmail.com (exceptions to these guidelines are at my discretion for others within the community). Do not feel confined by the categories listed below; I am adding new types of businesses all the time.