ALI: yes, I coined the term ALI which stands for (a)doption, (l)oss, (i)nfertility because I wanted a term that went well with the award post I was cooking up.  And this term has come to stand for the inclusiveness of our community and experience (from this entry).

Almost-father: a man who longs to be a parent and is actively trying to have a first child or an additional child (from this entry).

Almost-mother: a woman who longs to be a parent and is actively trying to have a first child or an additional child (from this entry).

Awkward Parenting Moments (APM): the verbal dance of trying to explain paths to parenthood or pregnancy loss to a child (from this entry).

Babedar: a child’s ability to smell out the infertile woman in the room and attach themselves to said woman (from this entry).

Barren Von Stirrup Shtup: any form of assisted reproduction that involves stirrups and someone examining your hoohaa. Also the name of our film company (from this entry).

Bermuda Triangle of Infertility: the trifecta that can drown even the strongest swimmer of an infertility patient–the financial, physical, and emotional corners of infertility (from this entry).

Beta Babies: children conceived through fertility treatment. In other words, their parents know their first and second beta numbers (from this entry).

Blilt: a “blog quilt” comprised of squares containing a single word or phrase as a response to a central question. Each word is connected back to the author’s blog in order to help readers find a like-minded individual though the blilt stands as a testament to a range of emotional responses to a single situation (from this entry)

Co-Payment Cost Babies (CPCBs): children conceived without assistance (from this entry).

Comfort Achievability: the ability of an outsider to comfort a person inside a situation (from this entry).

Commentathon: a massive commenting contest that spreads love across the blogosphere (from this entry)

Creme de la Creme: a new way to do awards–rather than honour one or two blogs, have everyone submit their personal favourite from the year and compile them into one delicious list. I will compile this list every year. Check back in December 2007 for more details–here is the 2006 list (from this entry).

Emoblopedarian: the emotional blog encyclopedia librarian. In other words, the keeper of the emoblopedia (from this entry).

Emoblopedia: an emotional blog encyclopedia that archives thought-provoking entries. Sort of like the creme de la creme list, but instead of simply being a long list of great entries from a single year, it is organized both by larger umbrella topics such as “treatments” or “adoption” as well as by smaller subcategories such as “deciding to proceed with IVF” or “meeting child for the first time.” An emoblopedia is an archive of the emotional journey–a series of posts that a person can read when they feel alone and want their emotions confirmed (from this entry).

Golden Gamonkey: a type of cookie. I imagine a gamonkey to be a “dreamlike visitor like the werefox out of Chabon’s Summerland that takes you on this amazing adventure and makes you see infertility (or whatever your struggle may be in the moment) in an entirely new light (from this entry).

Great Cake Day: a virtual party where all participants take a photograph of a cake they consumed and post it on the same day. The party happens as people jump from blog to blog via the master list (from the entry).

Hoohaahooterus: my collective name for all my sexual organs as well as hormone levels (since I needed a simple term to convey my pu-pu platter of conception woes as well as how they all work together to create the perfect machine of infertility) (from this entry).

Human Harbour: those friends or people who bring you comfort simply by seeing them or being with them. If there was a movie version of Melissa in Wonderland, the human harbours would be the people who stepped out at the end of the film to wave me back to the real world while I bid them a teary goodbye and told them how much they helped me along the way (from this entry).

Human-nequin: the people in the background of your life that give it depth and colour (from this entry).

I Can’t Believe the Fucking Timing (ICBFT, and pronounced ick-ba-fat): I think the phrase says all you need to know (from this entry).

Infertile Christmas: the way I like to pretend that I’m pregnant from Thanksgiving until December 25th (from this entry).

Lady-When-Waiting: your right-hand lady through infertility (from this entry).

Land of If: this freakin’ Land of Infertility (from this entry).

Laydar: that sixth sense stirrup queens have for
figuring out when someone else is a stirrup queen before they say anything. That familiar feeling of knowing that for both women, a good lay brings nothing your way (from this entry).

Location Casualties: those places that you never want to go back to because all they do is remind you of what you don’t have or (if you currently are parenting) what you went through to get to your current place (from this entry).

Mailbox Narcolepsy: that overwhelming desire to go to sleep when you consider not only future decisions but mundane, daily choices (from this entry).

Mullies: Mommy bullies–the women who try to one-up you on the playground over everything from conception to sleep training (from this entry).

Not-yet baby/child: the child an almost-mother or almost-father is trying to conceive and carry or adopt. The child they are waiting to arrive (from this entry).

Post Beta Cry (PBC): that moment where your heart breaks after you get the negative beta call from the sympathetic nurse (from this entry).

Potentially Heartbreaking for the Listener (PHL): my term for any happy news that may be heard and processed through a lens of grief (from this entry).

Says-Things-Amazingly-Right (STAR): the person who always knows the right thing to say at the right time (from this entry).

Secret Hope Stories (SHS): those urban legend-like stories that we know are true: that there are women who go through 9 IVF cycles and suddenly become pregnant naturally while they’re waiting for cycle 10. And we secretly wonder if we will ever get an ending like that (from this entry).

Secret Ode Days: anonymous one-paragraph odes from one blogger to another (from this entry).

Sliding Scale of Happiness: my instant and unconscious calculations of how happy I can be over your pregnancy news (from this entry).

Sperm Palace: the andrology rooms at the fertility clinic (from this entry).

Sperm Palace Jester: a man experiencing an inability to procreate (either directly due to male factor infertility or indirectly through his partner) (from this entry).

Stirrup Queen: a woman experiencing an inability to procreate or carry to term (either directly due to female factor infertility or indirectly through her partner) (from this entry).

Stirrup Queen’s Let’s-Giddy-Up-And-Get-You-Knocked-Up-or-Mothering Fund: what I’m going to do with all the millions I plan to make in this lifetime (from this entry).

Terraversary: terrible anniversaries such as a miscarriage date or an unfulfilled due date (from this entry).

Truman Capote (TC): my period (from this entry).

Uterninus’s Law: the force that thwarts all conception efforts on the part of infertile men and women in direct correlation to how badly they need the cycle to work. Any attempt to circumvent Uterninus’s Law by pretending to “not care” about a cycle is detected and squashed in turn (from this entry).

Vagacamera: the transvaginal ultrasound. The dildo cam. The cooter cam. I just felt the world needed another word (from this entry).

Virtual Lushary: my name for my fictional, infertility-themed bar (from this entry).

You-just-suffered-a-terrible-loss-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-say-so-
I’ll-pretend-that-I-don’t-see-you (or a YJSATLAIDKWTSSIPTIDSY): a move some fertile women do when they see a woman they know has recently lost a child (from this entry).

The blogroll is now housed here: https://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed/.  Please update your links as this post will disappear soon.

Once upon a time, the blogroll was entirely contained in this space. And then it passed 1800 blogs, so I broke down the blogroll into smaller categories. The blogroll is sort of like a house, where this post (the table of contents) is the foyer and all the sections below are separate rooms. The blueprint below is interactive and you can click on any room in the picture to go directly to that space in the future, though please keep reading if this is your first time visiting the blogroll.

Regardless of date, this post is still constantly being updated: This is a tweetroll for the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community and it is open to anyone with either biological or situational infertility, at any stage of the experience (from newly-diagnosed to parenting after infertility), walking any path out of infertility.

In order to have your Twitter account added to the list, click here and fill out the form. Use the list below to find like-journeyed people to follow on Twitter. Entries within each category are not alphabetical, but are added in the order in which they were received. Therefore, the newest entries in each category are towards the bottom.

You’re trying to find the comment box to leave your Twitter account…right? Sorry–use the form instead and it will be uploaded to this page very soon.

For Advertisers

Advertise on Stirrup Queens or Lost and Found and Connections Abound

You may purchase ad space on my left sidebar that runs below the BlogHer ads. All image ads are around the same size: 125 x 125 and cost $50/week.  In addition, you can purchase ad space on my right sidebar that appears closer to the top of the blog (usually beneath the icon of the book) and costs $100/week.

Smaller ads which are solely a colourful bar that can hold a blog name or business name can be purchased for $25/week (left sidebar) and $50 (right sidebar).

All advertisements may be linked to a site or to a specific blog post. You may purchase advertisements in one week increments for up to three months. All payment is made through Paypal.

My readership tends to be men and women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are engaging in family building or have young children.

I do not accept ads that go against my philosophy or the spirit of the sites. Therefore, I do not accept advertising that is connected to baby or pregnancy-related services or websites (with the exception of those related to infertility, assisted conception, or adoption). I also tend not to accept advertising that is of a political or religious nature. Sorry.

When contacting me about advertising, please state whether you would like the ad to appear on Stirrup Queens, Lost and Found, or both sites simultaneously.

Contact Melissa by clicking here and providing the following information in your email:

• Name of your site
• Main url of site (or post)
• Any text (up to 50 words) as well as links you’d like to have appear within the text if you are purchasing an image ad (smaller bar-shaped ads do not come with text space).
• Whether you want the ad to appear on Stirrup Queens, Lost and Found, or both sites simultaneously
• An email address to send the Paypal billing
• Attach the art to the email (for an additional $20, I will design the ad for you after initial discussion)

A bill via Paypal will be sent within 48 hours. If the bill is not paid 48 hours after being sent, the ad request will be deleted.

Last updated: February 9, 2009.

Want to bring something to Show and Tell?

If you would like to join circle time and show something to the class, simply post between Wednesday and Friday (the list opens every Wednesday evening), hopefully including a picture if possible, and telling us about your item. It can be anything–a photo from a trip, a picture of the dress you bought this week, a random image from an old yearbook showing a person you miss. It doesn’t need to contain a picture if you can’t get a picture–you can simply tell a story about a single item. The list opens every Wednesday night and closes on Friday night (in the past, it was held on Saturday night, but we moved to this new day-of-the-week in June 2009). Scroll down to the link at the bottom of this post to peruse past Show and Tells and get a sense of the format.

You must mention Show and Tell and include a link back to this post in your post so people can find the rest of the class. This spreads new readership around through the list. This is now required.

Label your post “Show and Tell” each week and then come back here and add the permalink for the post via the Mr. Linky feature (not your blog’s main url–use the permalink for your specific Show and Tell post).

Oh, and then the point is that you click through all of your classmates and see what they are showing this week. And everyone loves a good “ooooh” and “aaaah” and to be queen (or king) of the playground for five minutes so leave them a comment if you can.

Did you post a link and now it’s missing?: I reserve the right to delete any links that are not leading to a Show and Tell post or are the blogging equivalent of a spitball.

If you want it…

Click here for the icon code if you wish to have it for your blog. It links to the archives.

The old posts are closed right now, but since this happens every week, the next one will be coming up this Wednesday. Here is a great way to ensure that you post at least once a week AND the best part is that you can even write your post ahead of time and just post it on the correct day.

So, class, let’s begin: