The Creme de la Creme of 2007
The Creme de la Creme of 2007
good enough to drink
Other prizes honour only a small handful of blogs. Forget that! We’ve expanded the idea of presenting “the best” to include a post from every blog in the infertility/pregnancy loss/adoption world. This includes those who are the beginning of their journey to those who are in the middle of a hard-won pregnancy to those who are parenting after adoption. Listed below are the best posts of 2007. If you have a blog that chronicles your experience with infertility, pregnancy loss, adoption, or life afterwards and you’re not on this list, send a link of your best post from 2007 to and I’ll add your blog*. In the meantime, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated.
The Creme de la Creme of 2007
- Choose-Your-Own-Blog-Adventure ( from Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters): Bringing back the 80’s, an infertility adventure where you get to choose Sharon Barren’s path.
- fertileHope (from The Maybe Baby): The Internet not only brings together people, but it led Maybe Baby to her clinic. An eye-opening account about the emotions that come after a life has been saved at the risk of losing ones fertility.
- For Emily (from Here We Go Again): A must read for anyone who has experienced a pregnancy loss; a moving list of advice from a fellow stirrup queen.
- The Others (from Baby Steps to Baby Shoes): Musings on the differences between the silent waiting room and the supportive blogosphere as the writer remembers a woman she saw at her clinic accepting a packet on egg donation. A quiet, curious post.
- Fastest Two Weeks Ever (from Life’s Lost and Found): During a medically-imposed break from treatments, the author meets a woman who has found perfect peace in her inability to get pregnant and discovers what she truly wants.
- For All The Men Out There (from Mission: Impossible): You will never be able to enter the shwanking rooms again with a straight face after reading this rendition of “Beat It:” a loving ode to all the jesters in the sperm palace.
- Faith (from Are We There Yet?!): A moving post explaining how her relationship with G-d has changed as she struggles with infertility, leaving her in a state of questioning and trying to sort out her beliefs.
- I *an infertile* Want to be an Egg Donor! (from No Swimmers in the Tubes, No Bun in the Oven): An explanation of why the author wants to become an egg donor, a desire that began during IVF and strengthened as they moved to IUI with donor sperm.
- 10 Weeks 6 Days (from The Duchess): In the tradition of mothers writing notes to their unborn children, the author composes a letter to her missing left fallopian tube telling it all the things that have been going on since it was removed. Simultaneously funny and sad.
- Time for a Change (from The Idle Mind of Beth): A post that will help you change your own attitude towards life. Without dismissing how deeply we feel our personal “have-nots,” the author turns up the volume on your own personal list of “haves,” making you reevaluate whether the glass is half empty or half full.
- A Little Girl (from They Grow in Your Heart): The night the author learned that she was about to become the mother of a little girl; her conversation with A, the expectant mother, and the feeling of having your life change with a single phone call.
- The Pits of Despair (from Sell Crazy Someplace Else): A breathtaking, angry post raging against a sense of feeling alone within a marriage. The perfect post to read when you are at your breaking point and wonder if anyone else has ever felt this level of anger.
- Two Conversations (from Churp Churp): A well-written and clear explanation of how, for the author, the raising of the child comes out of the relationships. It is not simply the desire to parent, but the desire to parent as a team. And therefore, the longing for the child is also the longing for the relationship. A very honest post.
- No, Not One (from (Un)Fertile Phase): A line from this post sums up life: “Sometimes it’s just getting through the hurt 15 minutes at a time.” A post about a particularly sad day when the memory of how life would be conflicts with what is.
- Pondering (from Ramblings of a 30 Something): The reality of how infertility even informs parenting decisions down the line and how it is still seeping into the author’s life long after the fact. A frank and interesting post.
- Decision, Made (from Or Life is a Bed of Roses): The opening will resonate with almost everyone: “I never, in a million years, thought I’d be at this place at this age.” But the ending, when the reader realizes the decision made will make that opening take on an entirely new meaning. Figure out the clues so you can read along and support this writer on her journey.
- Tea and Empathy (from Just
One Bean): That perfect post that you will want to print out and mail to people when they don’t understand what you’re going through with infertility. A rallying cry that begins: “Is there any kind of personal pain that is so little understood by those not experiencing it?” - Please Stay (from The Waiting Womb): A sweet note for her embryos asking them to please stay made sweeter when you read the rest of her blog and realize that a week later, one of them did.
- Lots of Thinking (from Henry Street): Lots of thinking brings all of the author’s anxieties to the surface–from choosing the next step to wrapping her mind around the ease with which others procreate. A moving and bittersweet post.
- The Meaning of Life, According to Me (from Weebles Wobblog): Bringing meaning to a confusing world. The point? “The play, then, is about finding our way back. To remember we are unlimited.” A post to make you think.
- Battle, Blizzard, Baby Boy? (from Drama2BMama): During the largest snow storm of the year, while the Iraq war rages on the other side of the world, a woman receives the phone call every waiting parent hopes to hear.
- Primary vs. Secondary Infertility (from The New Life of Nancy): The author, who has experienced both primary and secondary infertility, explains how she viewed secondary infertility her first time trying to conceive and how she views it now.
- Sisters Are Amazing Creatures (from A View On My Life): Not only an ode to her sister (whom she loves dearly) but also an ode to how talking to a sensitive and intuitive person can help you to see things you never saw before in your own words.
- Guess What Was on Oprah Today (from Infertility Just Sucks): Coming out to her mother about infertility, the author feels at peace after her mother gives her advice at the end of the conversation: “she told me that it would all work out. She said it with such firmness and finality – just like a mother – that I had no choice but to believe her.”
- Infertility and Fertile Friends (from The Shifty Shadow): You will bawl and nod your way through this post as you read about the chasms that inadvertantly open between mothers of dead children versus mothers of living children. The author explains: “I feel your life as the photo of my negative. What is a baby in your arms is a dark hole in the negative. What is a pregnant belly in your photo is deep blackness in my image.”
- In Her Shoes (from Miss E’s Musings): Read this. I cannot sum it up better than that: read this. Because you are a woman, because every person is creating history, because you will read these stories and see yourself in an entirely new way; which is a common experience when reading this author’s work.
- Weekend Update (from Indi’s Human): A gorgeous post discussing her recent pregnancy loss with her pastor and the words spoken that brought her great comfort: “so even though it was gone as fast as it came, barb’s words felt so validating and so true, right down to my core. That baby was very real, you know.”
- Rainy Friday–Measure of Worth Edition (from Mrs. Spock): I bawled reading this post not only because it was about life and death, but because it was about those moments where another person inadvertently crashes into your life and changes your entire outlook, or in the case of the author, her path as a nurse. A greater analogy for why those infertile fight the good fight.
- Motherhood: From the Other Side of the Glass (from From the Peanut Gallery): An explanation to mothers of how it feels to be on the other side of the glass, especially in a world where “our mothers told us ‘just wait until you have a child’ when we were misbehaving. I just took for granted that I would.”
- Obligatory Single Girl V-Day Post (from Creating Motherhood): A post to revisit every Valentine’s Day where the author explains how her earlier experiences with the holiday shaped how she views the day now. She writes: “You see a girl that didn’t have the flowers from Daddy or the 9th grade boyfriend is a bit damaged. There are tiny cracks on her heart.” It simply makes you want to send her a dozen roses next year, even if you also understand that they would not be the flowers to melt her heart and make the cracks less fragile.
- Lucky (from Our Own Creation): Infertility can wreck havoc on a marriage or it can boil down the relationship to its core essence and show the couple how well-suited they are to manage this life crises together. And this author has won the lottery.
- Remember When I Said I Was at Peace With My Losses? (from My Many Blessings): After so many losses, the author finds peace and sadness staring into the eyes of a baby girl, the first she has held since she learned that her last loss was a girl. This post is made even more moving knowing that in the same year, the author became pregnant again.
- Giving Up Gracefully? (from Beaten But Not Bowed): An explanation of how loss factors into the definition of infertility but also an entirely new way of looking at donor egg–not as a “giving up” but instead simply a different solution to a problem. A post about accepting infertility precisely so you can define what you’re fighting.
- I’ve Always Wanted Braces (from Reproductive Jeans): The post that kicked off the Braces Bunch, a network of infertility bloggers who support each other through negatives and positives. It is also a post about patching over those divisions within infertility–the female factor from the male factor and the unexplained from the diagnosed.
- A Small Lie (from Slaying, Blogging, Whatever… ): The small lies told during secondary IF when you need to explain the lack of a brother or sister to a child. A sweet and sad post made more poignant knowing that IVF #2 worked for them.
- There Once Was a Nurse Named Hilary (from Crazy Lady Ramblings): An everyday post about a trip to the clinic–awful blood draw and sonogram and all–written one day before the author began injections for the first time.
- In a Tizzy About Being Busy (from The Road Less Travelled): A post about how the time of people without children is valued against the time of people with children but also the people who can be simultaneously the most and least understanding. Just as pain is pain and loss is loss, the author concludes that “busy is busy, and tired is tired, no matter how you got there.”
- Hopefully (from Jenn-e-fur’s Oasis): The first time when hope didn’t flood back at the beginning of a cycle. Usually, at the end of a cycle, the author cries, vents, and then picks herself up and looks towards the next try. And then suddenly, hope didn’t reappear.
- Broken Record (from Love Will Tear Us Apart): A post about the fear that can become suffocating, as the author writes: “I feel like there is a broken record playing over and over again in my head, telling me that I might never have a child.” A raw and moving post.
- A Thought of Hope (from Living a New Life with Infertility): How infertility changes a person–sometimes even for the better–because, as the author writes: “Sometimes….thoughts of hope outside of TTC are what we need to continue on the road.”
- Finding My Way Out of the Darkness (from Serenity Now!): A moving post that is an important reminder that everything passes at some point; that when you’re in the middle of the worst, there will be a point in the future where you will be out of the darkness.
- Holiday Preparations of a Different Kind (from Jen & Jeremy: One DINK Couple’s Adventures): A list of what not to say to someone infertile…and why. A new favourite is “just keep it fun!”
- A Real Mom Opens Her Hands (from Production, Not Reproduction): A gorgeous post about what makes someone a mother–it isn’t biology and it isn’t daily care: it is the act of mindfully opening your hands one thousand different ways.
- The Unexplained (from A Little Sweetness): A post about the frustrations of unexplained infertility. The author says it perfectly when she explains: “Society doesn’t really put too much stock into things that are unexplained….As adults if we can’t see it, touch it, or smell it, we don’t seem to believe it’s true.” Where does that leave the 20% struggling in the category of unexplained infertility? A frank and thought-provoking post.
- Bandaging the Seams (from Road Blocks and Rollercoasters): A post that brings clarity to some people’s overwhelming need to fix situations where they perceive something is wrong; yet there is nothing to mend the broken woman who is not actually broken.
- Bow Chicka Bow Bow (from The Smarshy Files): The insider’s guide to the myriad of porn selections to help with the semen analysis…and why sometimes good guys hope for bad results.
- I Ovulated! And an Anger Rant (from A Sibling for Celia): The perfect post to read when you are sitting with your anger and you don’t want to be alone. This writer understands and says, “I wish it was OK for a grown woman to sit, cry, and pound her fists against a pillow and saying ‘but it’s not fair!’.”
- Unequivocal (from Project Progeny): A loss that is rarely discussed in our community–the loss of the story. The loss of turning a perfect night of lovemaking into a child. It may be a small loss in comparison to life, but as the author points out, life is made up of stories.
- So Many Thoughts Running Through My Mind (from The Sweet Life): This post is one of the reasons I love blogs–they bring you a completely unique point-of-view. The author speaks about her feelings on changing sperm donors.
- Thankfulness (from So These are the Days of My Life): A wonderful post reminding the reader of the small umbrellas to be thankful for within the storm.
- To My Co-worker…I am Sorry (from The Wizard of Ovulation): A post with a twist that shows how nothing should be taken for granted in this world. Sometimes the people who seem the farthest away from our situation end up standing beside us and the remorse we feel when a new person joins the ranks.
- On the Eve (from Things Get Iffy): A beautiful note on the eve of her daughter’s birth that shows the magnitude of motherhood–not just the excitement of reaching the prize, but the nervousness that comes from reaching out to hold it.
- Why Does it Hurt? (from Looking for 2 Lines): An incredibly moving post about witnessing the death of a baby squirrel that dips down into the well of motherhood that exists in this author’s heart. Her ability to love and sympathize is tremendous.
- The Numbers Game (from Birch and Maple): An eye-opening post breaking down an IVF cycle into a numbers game.
- Adoptive Parent Pet Peeves (from Latest News): A great post explaining directly and openly why certain terms are offensive or thoughtless when discussing their upcoming adoption from China.
- The O
pen Door (from The Open Door): Some things in life should only come with a Plan A–a rallying cry for when Plan B should never be considered and the reader needs company to find the internal strength to keep going. - The Cat is Out of the Bag and Such (from Fertilize Me): A post about the frustrations that stem from others defining you by something that is simply a small part of the whole.
- Comparative Pain (from Welcome to the Dollhouse): An excellent reminder that all personal pain is valid and should not be dismissed. The author uses the analogous situation of being single to being infertile and sheds lights on the similarities between these two situations.
- Diamonds in the Rough (from The Secret Garden): A friend mourns the old version of the author, but the author points out that a diamond increases in value after it has been cut and shaped. While she may wish that she hadn’t encountered a diamond cutter like infertility, to dismiss the changes that have taken place would be to deny the value she has found in her incredible strength.
- Sunday, Not a Day of Rest (from Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Normalcy): Finding the positive in the pain by remembering how rain is followed by sun and dormant hope can bloom again.
- Infertility Flip-Off Friday (from Super Ovum): An extremely amusing fuck you to infertility. Lather, rinse, repeat every Friday.
- Self Flagellation (from Busted Babymaker): A weepy trip to Pottery Barn Kids that brings a husband and wife closer in their mutual desire to have a child.
- Divided by Two (from Sticky Bean Preconception Journal): A moving post that begins with what miscarriage can do to any marriage and then bringing it in closer to discuss how miscarriage has been processed within the author’s marriage. This post is made sweeter knowing that the author is currently pregnant again, but it is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand how different people can process a shared loss.
- Waiting for the Right Time (from Thoughts of a Preacher’s Wife): The preacher’s wife gives her own moving sermon, reflecting on her grandmother’s infertility in the 1930s and her own diagnosis of secondary infertility and what she has learned about listening and waiting for G-d.
- “Why” Isn’t Even Half of It (from Hez in IVFland): An incredible post about how time has a way of healing wounds but also about the importance of dealing with events as they unfold and once again when you have the space to process them.
- Choosing Toppings (from Twisted Ovaries): A post pointing out the many lines drawn in the sand that divide the community and the need to step over those lines and break down the cliques that have been built.
- The Beginning of it All (from Everyday Stranger): A gorgeous post about the birth of her twins–the highs and lows of an early birth after a difficult pregnancy when your heart (or in this case, hearts) come to exist outside your body.
- Faith, Unhealed Wounds, and Empathy (from MLO Knitting): A post intertwining faith and empathy; how our unhealed wounds can be the impetus teaching us to treat others as we wish to be treated.
- It’s Amazing the Difference a Year Makes (from Sean and Mary’s Family): The author describes her own post best with this line midway through the post: “At the same time that I feel the pangs of sadness for Star, I also feel incredibly blessed to be carrying Livi and Drew right now. I know that if Star had not died, they would not be here, and I feel such intense love for them as well, it is a strange place to be.” It is entirely possible to feel intense sadness and excitement and gratefulness and frustration all at the same time.
- How Did We Know We Were Done (from Coming2Terms): How the author knew that it was time to walk away from fertility treatments–when the scales tipped and the idea of “facing the excruciating emotional pain associated with the loss of another set of embryos would actually be harder to manage than the idea that our family might only number two.”
- Mixed Feelings (from Inconceivable): A post exploring the myriad of feelings associated with infertility.
- Disgraceland (from Reproductively Speaking): A post that will stay with you for a long time, forcing you to think. As we focus on the cribs and strollers, the author takes us well beyond those years to crash into the future like the car her future child may total.
- TTC’s Stages of Grief (from The World According to Monica): How the five stages of grief factor into infertility and how we go through these five stages on a continuous loop.
- Living in the Gap (from Taking the Statistical Bullet): An important post to read about living in the moment rather than living in the gap.
- The Waiting Room (from BagMomma): The sorority of the waiting room and the unfamiliar faces that are expressing some very familiar feelings.
- Unanswered Prayers (from When Sarah Laughed): The author muses on an earlier unanswered prayer and gives the Western Wall a second try.
- Are You There G-d? It’s Me, Portia (from Desperate to Multiply): A letter to G-d trying to understand why infertility happens at all and closer to the heart, why infertility has happened to her.
- It’s Not Working (from Eye Heart Internet): The words that are still hanging in the air between two friends–both of whom have experienced a pregnancy loss but one of whom has learned that she will not be getting pregnant again on her own.
- Joys of Pregnancy? (from Fertility Challenged in Florida): Frustrations galore with Pregzilla who has no idea how her complaints about pregnancy affect those around her.
- Dear Babies (from The Dunn Family): A gorgeous letter to her twins when they were six months old, reminding them how far they’ve come and how much they are loved.
- Blurg! (from A Uterus Divided): What happens next when infertility throws every plan off-track? This post is about the far-reaching effects of infertility and trying to plan your life when the plans are out of your hands.
- Purple Rain (from As I See It): Her son died in the fall, therefore the seasons mirrored exactly how she was feeling inside. Now that spring has returned, it feels as if life has moved on without her and it is time to develop a project and take life back into her hands.
- Gaining by Losing (from What Wuz I Saying…?): A heartbreaking post about losing one twin midway through the pregnancy and the birth of her son as well as the gains that come from loss.
- In the Same Boat (from This is NOT What I Ordered!): The author brilliantly points out that we’re not necessarily in the same boat: “Although we try, and mostly succeed, to be there for each other and to keep pulling for the team, the truth is we’re not all in the same boat. At best, you can say we’re a little fleet, navigating the same treacherous passage, cheering each other on and warning each other of submerged rocks ahead, but still jealously assessing the speed and seaworthiness of each other’s vessels. And, even as much as we desperately want the whole fleet to make it through together, we’re still ultimately pulling for our own little crews in our own little boats—which are, to us, both better off and worse off than anyone else’s. And, for these reasons alone, deserve more than all the others to make it safely home.” And if you are nodding your head at this moment, bowled over by this thought, you should click over and read the post from the beginning.
- A Tiny Bit of Life (from Road to Adopt): A strange and wondrous pregnancy gained and lost in a small pocket of time between treatments and trying to discern the message this event contains.
- The Happiness Quotient (from (Un)complicate Me): A sweet post in finding joy in every day of life and never wishing a moment of it away.
- Throwing This Out There (from Life, Love, and Infertility): How perspective changes along the journey and the truths that are unraveled as time passes.
- Breakfast Burritos and SIF (from BabyQuest): A compliment from a waitress triggers an internal monologue of wonder at what the future holds.
- Let’s Talk About that Elephant, Shall We? (from In Search of Biscuit 2.0): Sound advice: “You have to be careful, this is your heart.” The author warns of riding a roller coaster without safety devices in place.
- In the Great Stories (from Journeywoman): A post about finding the strength to go on simply because you are holding onto something and how the perfect thought can come in an unexpected place.
- It’s Not All About Me (from Over Hard: Eggs and Infertility): An emotional exploration of remembering that her husband feels pain too and wishing to always have the mindfulness to support him.
- Fuck You, PCOS (from It Could Take 3 Months): Sure, it takes away the ability to ovulate, but can we all take a moment to say a big fuck you to PCOS for the zits and unwanted hairs too?
- My Common Thread Bracelet (from Southern Infertility): A post about that awful feeling where everything is so wrong that you can’t really find a place to start describing it to another person even though your heart feels as if it will explode from the emotions remaining internalized.
- But Seriously… (from Baby Wanted: Apply Within): An amazing post from a husband explaining how excited he is to be on the brink of a new start to treatments.
- The Joy of the WTF Pregnancy (from The Adventures of (In)fertile Frank): Opening up the wide world of the WTF pregnancy to include male sports figures. A post that is interesting and amusing–sort of like a really good copy of People magazine.
- Bye Bye Bio Baby (from Fortune Cookie Follies): A very important post to read if you have ever been wondering about the idea of stepping off the treatment roller coaster and moving towards a different path to parenthood.
- Pregnancy Guilt (from A Family, Created): Though the author always remembers that she is infertile, she feels as if she is constantly convincing others of her history now that she is a mother of two through domestic adoption and donor embryo.
- Infertility and Holidays (from Operation Baby): How October through December feels for Christian, infertile Americans year after year as the world revolves through holiday after child-centered holiday.
- To Last Year’s Me (from The Problem with Hope): A post about the w
ay life can change drastically over the course of a year and a once-dreaded holiday takes on new emotions with two children in the house. - Orientations Are Not Just For Orientals (from Bulgy the Blog): Observations by an extremely amusing blogger about adoption orientation.
- Thinking…Thinking… (from Life in the CatPad): A woman who locks her sick dog in the school closet is going to get to be a mum but the responsible teacher who checks her emails for grammatical errors before hitting send is infertile…it’s an infuriating world.
- Bed Wetter & Thumb Sucker (from Almamay’s Infertility Journey): The author’s memories of growing up on an army base while her father was in Vietnam and like the end scene where she is running and falling, you too will run and fall over the words and shed a few tears by the end.
- Um…Well…I Peeked (from Nearlydawn…Nearlypregnant…Nearlyoutofsteam): Succumbing to the siren song of the pee stick with a deeply happy ending.
- Losing It (from The Benedict Family): A sad post about a pregnancy loss and the roller coaster ride of elated celebration to crushed hope.
- Who Do I Sit With in the Lunchroom? (from Out, damned egg! Out I say!): In the virtual lunchroom of the IF community, where does a girl sit if she’s doing both donor embryo and adoption? An interesting point-of-view on the various paths to parenthood and the unique experience inherent within each path.
- What We Wish You Knew: Supporting Loved Ones in Infertility (from Blessed are the Barren): Excellent advice for the outsider who wishes to support someone going through infertility.
- Baby Picture (from Apron Strings for Emily): A moving post about finding a picture the author set aside with the hopes of one day finding it accidentally and remembering how far she has come. Though the journey is completely different from what she thought it would be the day she set aside the picture, I think in reading this post that you will agree that she truly has come a long way.
- Dear Donor (from My Eggy Journey): A gorgeous post for her egg donor about what she sees when she looks into her son’s face–his father’s features, her love reflected, and the altruism of a stranger who has given her the ultimate gift.
- The Fertility Continuum (from The Other Shoe): The author wonders where she fits in within the world of infertility and points out the similarities along the continuum despite the differences.
- Hope (from Two Kayaks): A beautiful post about the letting go that needed to take place on the road through adoption and how the prior losses can never be erased because they inform the present–and not solely in the negative sense.
- Patron Saints (from Optimism: The Big O): After a somewhat frustrating conversation with someone using religious ideology to convince her that IVF is wrong, the author turns lemons into lemonade by searching down a patron saint who speaks to her journey.
- It’s Like This (from Infertile Fantasies): The movement from quiet excitement to numb disbelief–the scope of a journey and the sadness after a loss.
- This Time Last Year (from Thalia’s Fertility Journey): A pregnancy after a loss is a bittersweet event–without the loss, the second child would never exist yet you could also never wish away the second child in order to have the first. A post that explains how one person can coexist at two ends of the emotional spectrum simultaneously.
- We Have Not Reached an Agreement Yet (from Baby Bound): In negotiations with G-d over motherhood, the author provides a list of all the things she has placed on the table as an offering.
- A Year in Review (from In Due Time): A summary of a year that brought with it huge changes and a step off the conception path.
- Test Day (from Sunny in Seattle): The glucose test from hell with what would have been its one saving grace–a pass–denied as well.
- 1000 More Words (from It’s Either Sadness or Euphoria): A breathtaking post chronicling the stream-of-conscious thoughts that pass through the mind during loss.
- Nothing Like a Family and AF (from My Journey to Mommyhood): An extremely frustrating conversation where relaxation is prescribed as the cure for infertility. The post ends with the perfect quote by Sidney Harris: “Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.”
- Two Weeks and Change (from A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs, and Maybe Baby): Two weeks after the birth of her son, the author reflects on the emotions she went through having a pregnancy succeed after so much loss.
- Losing the Bitter Thoughts (from The Tragic Optimist): Her child did not cure infertility, but it did cure her bitter thoughts as she sits inside the calm of raising her daughter.
- In the Darkness (from Many a Mile to Go): A gorgeous post about the late night fears that can consume us and the light that comes when those dreams aren’t realized. Raising twins in the darkness and light.
- Of Love and Flowers (from I Won’t Fear
Love): A warning–you will cry as this story unfolds of a mother who loves her two children equally–one alive and one gone–and gives them each the same gifts from her heart from purple tulips to her enormous love. - Personal Purgatory (from Infertility SUCKS!): Finally letting out all of the emotions that have been building over the non-blogging weeks. The author looks back on her blogroll and realizes that she is the final one without children out of all of the women she started with on this journey. And the hurt that comes with that fact.
- In December (from Life in the Hundred-Acre Wood): Last December, she spent the month trying to end a prolonged pregnancy loss–a month of bleeding and subsequent surgery to take away the remains of a life. This December, she spent the month marveling at the life inside of her, folding her arms over her belly to cherish the life inside.
- An Open Letter (from Life From Here: Musings From the Edge): A beautifully written open letter to the women in her life who are currently pregnant, explaining how their lives differ. The letter ends with a profound question: “But tell me, if I can find joy in my heart for you in my time of crisis, why is it so hard for you have compassion in your heart for me in your time of joy?”
- Desperate (Biblical, Infertile) House (from Entrusted): Using her strong faith in G-d as a guide in making choices regarding fertility treatments all the while musing on the barren women of the Bible.
- The Retrieval Story (from Are We There Yet?): A gorgeous recount of retrieval on a donor egg cycle–from the relationship with the donor to visiting their embryos outside the clinic one night to let them feel–however far away–the warmth of their parents loving them.
- On Making the Choice to Go With a Donor (from Why Not Me): When you enter a story in medias res, People forget the hard decisions that come before a donor cycle is persued. Reading this post will help anyone still walking the path prior to decision.
- The Birth of Our Son (from The Unlucky 20 Percent): An amazing, moving post that will have you in tears as you read this remembrance of giving birth to her son who died in-utero and all the love she felt in that day and the days afterwards.
- Everything is NOT Fine (from Sticky Feet): The anger stems not just from everything she goes through with infertility and treatments, but moreso from having to pretend that everything is okay with those around her. As the title suggests, everything is NOT fine.
- Learning that I Have PCOS (from Little Pieces of My Life): A post warning about allowing doctors to brush aside concerns and the long path she took to finally get diagnosed and treated for PCOS.
- Update (from Just Keep Swimming): The joy in the moment where the right path becomes clear.
- The Perfect Man (from Aspiring Baker): The perfect man, it turns out, is a fluid construction built by the heart as well as the head–a donor insemination story.
- Sending Out Hope (from This Side of Pregnant): All of the hope the author has for a friend who is going through the terrible loss of her child as well as the way the author is processing the loss while 22 weeks pregnant.
- In Which Tony Soprano Gets Me Thinking (from Chasing a Child): An epiphany during the Sopranos makes the author realize that donor eggs is not just about loss–it is also the gain of not passing along unwanted genetically-based conditions.
- Good Night, Sweet Baby (from Life in the Soupbowl): For anyone who has ever believed that a genetic bond is necessary for love, an intense note from mother to daughter blows that out of the water. You will snuggle down into the words as you read through a true happily ever after.
- Surviving, and Musings on Life’s Irony (from Purgatory): An eye-opening post about a second turn through considering donor insemination and the twisting path that brought her back to DI’s door.
- My Dr’s Appointment (from Unexplain This): An important post to read if pregnant or if you suspect you are experiencing postpartum depression; a well-written account of the doctor’s appointment that brought her the diagnosis and why women conceiving after infertility are more susceptible.
- One of Those Women (from How to Get From 0 to Pregnant in 365 Easy Steps): After not knowing whether she ever wanted motherhood, the author was “kicked in the face by love.” She describes the awe she felt when she realized she loved her sister’s children, “not for anything they do, but because they just are.”
- Pondering the View Outside My Window (from My Little Drummer Boys): Two women bond, understanding what few other women can understand–the loss of a child. The older woman states, “A mother just never forgets these things for no matter how many children she has…she remembers the ‘others’ and she is always waiting for someone, for someone she can tell about them.” Thankfully, they found each other.
- Breathing (from Everything is a Grace): In the quiet of the night, a mother listens to her husband and child breathe together.
- 9 Years Ago Today (from Destination Baby): It took almost 24 years for the author to get a sister–an incredible journey of parenthood.
- Lonely (from Where is
My Happiness?): Achieving pregnancy is not the only thing that makes people feel as if they are losing the infertility community. The author points out that she is currently in a strange limbo that makes her feel alienated from the community and how the loss of that support saddens her. - On Bitterness and Bitchiness and Still Being Happy (from An Accident of Hope): A gorgeous post articulating how one can be simultaneously happy for one person and sad for oneself and an explanation of how the two remain separate entities.
- IVF #4: Countdown Begins…Again (from My Soul Quest): Hoping the fourth time is lucky, the author prepares for another round of IVF.
- The Power of Magic (from No Matter How Small): After years and years of magical thinking, the author gathers the courage to confront one of her fears only to discover that her husband’s fears have slid into the new space, proving once again that men mourn differently, but equally, as women.
- Infertility Revisited and What I Could Not Do (from You Just Never Know Where Hope Might Take Ya): The guilt that comes when the pain of infertility still lingers into parenthood and everyone else’s comments reinforce the thought that a person should move on. Until the author reads on a blog that children resolve childlessness but they don’t resolve infertility. And this epiphany is what she needs to come to terms with her own emotions.
- My Grand Adventure (from Babies or Not): The author records her story at NPR’s This I Believe and admits that she didn’t know that emotional pain can also be so physically painful.
- Remembering Jack (from Careful What You Wish For): As the author writes: “this post is as much a celebration of life as a marking of loss.” A moving account of the death of her son in-utero and his delivery.
- The Christmas Letter (from Just Crazy Enough to Try): Lamenting what is missing from Christmas letters, the author writes her own announcing pregnancy loss, depression, and a bicornuate uterus.
- The Infertile Dummies Guide to OHSS (from Diary of an Infertile Mad Woman): Running commentary on the physician’s OHSS fact sheet–amusing AND informative.
- Sweet, Sweet, Rage-ahol (from Bee in the Bonnet): A rant that will make you either inspired to write your own about the annoying people you pass in daily life or simply nod your head in angry agreement.
- RAD and Our Lives (from No Place Like Home): A very informative post on Reactive Attachment Disorder and how the author used therapy to bring her family together.
- Dear Couple (from Diary of a Miscarriage): An open letter to an anonymous couple the author saw at her OB’s office, from one mother who has experienced pregnancy loss to another.
- Why Today is a Special Day (from It Only Takes One Egg): Thoughts after IVF and a birth about how life looks different from the other side.
- Do I Know You? (from The Making of a Family): Comparing infertility to eating the same dish day in and day out, the author writes about how trying to conceive has overtaken every space in her mental capacity.
- These Trains Have No Schedules (from Worrier/Warrior): Standing on the hypothetical infertility train platform and realizing in a beautiful post that being left behind on the platform doesn’t mean that you won’t be on the next train that rolls through.
- Who’s Your Daddy (from Mindless Woman, Mindless Ramblings): A gorgeous post from a gestational surrogate soon before she delivered the baby; reflecting on the crazy journey from meeting the couple to carrying the child.
- Embodiment (from Living With the Cards I Was Dealt): The author talks about the transformation from someone engaged in life to someone with a constant reminder of death and how infertility changes a person.
- My First Trip to Rainbow Whole Foods (from Our Fertility Journey): Mishaps on the road to get healthier……more coming soon. Keep checking the Creme de la Creme box for updates in the top left corner of the blog. The list will continue to grow so send your favourite post from 2007 to have your blog represented on this list. Spread the word about the list and let others know that they should have their blog honoured too. Every writer deserves a prize for their hard work.
Blogs that Closed in 2007**
We’re so sorry to see these blogs missing from the Blogosphere. Every piece of writing changes a person’s perspective of their own journey. The world was changed by their words.
Why Not Us?
In a Holding Pattern (became Finally After)
Perpetually Waiting
Domesticated
Twisted Ovaries (still blogging at Everyday Stranger)
Wiscadoo
Knocked Up, Knocked Down
Perfectly Infertile Jill (became The Longest Wait)
The Cracked Pot
Journey to the Center of the Egg (still blogging at Rememberella)
And a place of honour: More Than My Share (we’ll miss you, Lisa)
*My philosophy is once an infertile, always an infertile. I like reading the whole spectrum–from newly-diagnosed to veterans of treatments; those still filling out paperwork and those with completed adoptions; those who are trying to choose a donor and those parenting DI or DE kids; those who are completely c
onfused on what to do and those who are peacefully–or not peacefully–living child-free. Infertility can become a new lens with which one views the world, and viewing the world includes parenting. I love to read blogs after the children have come–from the newborns to four-year-olds. And all of this is a long-winded way to say that if you have ever experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, we would love to keep adding your posts to this list year after year. Please don’t disappear because you don’t think you’re part of the infertility community anymore. If your heart feels like it belongs here, you belong here.
onfused on what to do and those who are peacefully–or not peacefully–living child-free. Infertility can become a new lens with which one views the world, and viewing the world includes parenting. I love to read blogs after the children have come–from the newborns to four-year-olds. And all of this is a long-winded way to say that if you have ever experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, we would love to keep adding your posts to this list year after year. Please don’t disappear because you don’t think you’re part of the infertility community anymore. If your heart feels like it belongs here, you belong here.
**sometimes, an author doesn’t formally end their blog, but stops writing. Other times, one blog ends and another blog begins by the same writer. Still others, a blog is placed on this list only to start posting again months later. Not included on this list are blogs that have gone password protected and continue to be written for a smaller audience. Apologies to anyone who hasn’t truly closed their blog who appears on this list. Please let me know and I’ll take it down. At the same time, if you have closed your blog this year and would like to be honoured on this list, please send me your blog name.
32 comments
Only 122 blogs? Looks like someone’s been slacking.
Seriously, though. I am very proud of you and privileged to have seen this list grow exponentially. Love -j
I cried just reading over the list. Thanks for putting this all together, Mel. I can’t wait to read them all.
Wow, you are a god send for the infertility blogging community!! I can’t wait to read them all!!
Yikes – I started reading a few of the posts on the list – thank you; amazing…
I think Josh is sweet.
Wow, what an amazing list you’ve done Mel.
Thanks for pulling together this truly amazing list!
Yay-rah, Mel!!!!!
Mel, you are a tour de force. Thanks for this amazing list – except now I truly will Never finish the book I have been reading slower than any human could think possible.
I’m also in the “started crying just reading the list” group. It means so much being a part of this amazingly strong, talented, caring community.
Wow, that took a LOT of work!!! Definately something to be proud of 🙂
Holy crap. I could be weeks before anyone in blogland sees or hears of me again. Seriously – we should have arranged a Creme de la Creme Post Amnesty to allow reading time. That said, after I hit publish just earlier this morning…
Ok, better get on with it, I suppose! Thanks for the list.
Bea
Wow, pretty amazing posts. Come on you slackers, send Mel your posts!
mel, you are truly amazing. thanks so much for this and for all you do. I look forward to making my way through this wonderful list. ~luna
Bravo ! Well done !
Looking forward to reading my way through them.
Well I can see I’m not going to get any work done today — or this week — I have some very important blog reading to do, Boss, sorry I can’t finish that project…
Thank you for doing this, Mel.
Great list! Thanks for doing this Mel! Happy 2008!
Thank you Mel!
What a great service not only to the people who wrote these moving, thought-provoking and poignant posts but to those who have little understanding of what’s involved with infertility. If anyone has ever doubted that infertility’s reach goes farther than a simple diagnosis that can be easily remedied, here’s evidence to the contrary. The women and men behind these posts offer a look into a world that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy.
Kudos to Mel for organizing and bringing this amazing collection of essays together.
Mmmmmmmm, This is delicious.
You are a great cook – bringing all these ingredients together.
THANK YOU
Mel, without you I don’t know that I would have met half the infertile bloggers I have. You’ve given me a great gift.
Awesome list- THANK YOU.
Hours and hours of procrastination handed to me on a silver platter. Can’t wait to dig in.
Mel, that list is crazy impressive. Thanks for all your work in pulling it together!
Mel, this is a fabulous list. I’m slowly making my way through it as I have time. Thanks so much!
P.S. I was walking through the concourse of the BCE Place office tower in downtown Toronto at lunchtime today, past a fine lingerie store I’ve been by hundreds of times before. Only this time I noticed the name on the sign: Creme de la Creme!! lol
Hey Mel!
Thank you, as always, for all of your efforts! Wish I had more time for blogs in general and yours in particular!!!!
You are an amazing woman, my friend!
Shabbat Shalom
Shlomit
I am amazed, thankful and wholly humbled by these blogs. I can’t wait to read each post and feel the sentiments right through each word. I have my Kleenex handy.
Thank you so much for this.
I’m astounded by this blog! Its scope and depth are truly inspiring. Makes me want to get off my butt and do something!
… Slowly going through the list.
Wow, this was some list. Thanks so much for all the hard work. The posts I’ve read so far are wonderful.
Thanks for the list and your obvious hard work. I’m looking forward to picking through each of these blogs. I tried to send you a link to my “best” (whatever) post, but the mail thing’s no longer working. Here’s the link if you want it: http://mandigirl-muses.blogspot.com/2007/10/memorial-service.html Thank you!
I finished it! I read 155 posts. I can’t believe you did, plus wrote out little blurbs and such. Phew!
Bea
Wow! What an amazing list and just what I have been searching to find! Thank you for your hard work and dedication!
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