Trick or Treat
A Halloween Play
Random person banging on the Lushary door: Trick or treat!
Melissa, the bartender: Trick.
Random person: What?
Melissa, the bartender: I choose trick.
Random person (okay, so random person isn’t working for you. You need someone concrete. Pretend it’s Barren is the New Black knocking): But I thought you were going to give me candy. Or something. Or alcohol. This is an imaginary bar, right?
Melissa, the bartender: But you offered me a choice and I choose trick.
Barren is the New Black: Fuck (I think she would say “fuck”–she seems really ladylike, but I think under that ladylike, shoe-coveting exterior is a girl who would say “fuck”), I don’t really have a trick.
Melissa, the bartender: Oh–I’ll just open it up to the blogosphere. Maybe someone can suggest one to you.
So, in addition to drowning your sorrows or toasting your good news with a virtual drink, also provide the best trick you’ve ever done–on Halloween or at another time. Mine will be in the comment section below.
It has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
Oh, and just because I’ve opened the Lushary doesn’t mean that class is over: come by and show everyone your item at this week’s Show and Tell.
0 comments
Wow, am I first?? I will have my usual morning mimosa. And give Irish Girl whatever she wants & put it on my tab; I told her I was buying. ; )
I could use a drink; between our recent bathroom reno & my mom's visit, the market turmoil, increased year-end activity at work, anxiety about the upcoming U.S. election (& I don't even get to vote…!), & the 10-year "anniversary" of my due date coming up shortly, I am feeling pretty exhausted lately.
I will have to think about the trick story.
I’ll have a glass of Cavernet Franc. What’s been going on in my life? So much since my last time at the bar! I had a laparoscopy a few weeks ago and found out that my ovaries are fused to my uterus, pelvis, and tubes. They cut around one to free it but the other was too connected and they couldnt get it free. I am still TTC and am pretty hopeful this month. If I am not PG by the end of the year, we will move on to more invasive methods to conceive so I am praying that it happens before then.
Hmmm… the trick…my DH is usually the trickster I cant think of anything! Ok, one (pretty lame as far as tricks go)… my DH HATES girly movies and I have a really hard time getting him to go see one with me. I convinced him that “Catch and Release” was a fishing movie, he was pretty mad once he realized it had almost NOTHING to do with fishing!
So, I’m 34+ weeks pregnant. THings were happily flying along. Then my FIL has a massive stroke 2 weeks ago, and life has been turned totally upside down. My FIL is pretty much my Dh’s best friend – and my FIL is pretty much lost hte enitre left side of his brain. It’s been devestating, to say the least…. and not really what I expected to be dealing with 6 weeks away from my due date with a baby that I’d worked 3 years to conceive, and went through a huge pile of my own crap to get here (ectopic pregnancy, miscarraige, failed cycles…. you name it.)
Wow – bitter much?!? Just hook it up to my viens.
Hey, I’ll have a glass of dry white wine to chill. I’ve been avoiding alcohol since I’m pregnant, but it’s nice to get a glass at the virtual lushery. Right now I’m researching my child care options, and considering the possibility of moving right back to North Carolina a year after moving to Chicago. Life is going well, but never a dull moment, I’ll tell you!
Trick story: When I was 19 and my brother was 7, we were visiting York, England, with my parents. My dad and brother had just been on a ghost tour and my mom and I at a concert. We had two rooms in the hotel we were staying in: one for my parents, one for my brother and me. My brother came home all hyped up from the ghost tour, so the opportunity was ripe. After convincing him that the bleating of sheep (an unfamiliar noise to us suburban-dwelling Americans) was the noise of ghosts, I proceeded to knock under the table and then ask, “Hey S, who’s at the door?” He apprehensively opened the door, but… NO ONE was there. It must be: The Ghost of York.
I did this a few more times, until finally my dad, growing curious about all of the door opening and closing occurring next door, decided to investigate. So he knocked on the door. This time, S opened the door again, and there was SOMEONE there. Apparently believing my father was the Ghost of York, he screamed and slammed the door in my dad’s face. I couldn’t have done it any better. I think my brother, who’s now 20, has forgiven me.
Hey, I’ll have a glass of dry white wine to chill. I’ve been avoiding alcohol since I’m pregnant, but it’s nice to get a glass at the virtual lushery. Right now I’m researching my child care options, and considering the possibility of moving right back to North Carolina a year after moving to Chicago. Life is going well, but never a dull moment, I’ll tell you!
Trick story: When I was 19 and my brother was 7, we were visiting York, England, with my parents. My dad and brother had just been on a ghost tour and my mom and I at a concert. We had two rooms in the hotel we were staying in: one for my parents, one for my brother and me. My brother came home all hyped up from the ghost tour, so the opportunity was ripe. After convincing him that the bleating of sheep (an unfamiliar noise to us suburban-dwelling Americans) was the noise of ghosts, I proceeded to knock under the table and then ask, “Hey S, who’s at the door?” He apprehensively opened the door, but… NO ONE was there. It must be: The Ghost of York.
I did this a few more times, until finally my dad, growing curious about all of the door opening and closing occurring next door, decided to investigate. So he knocked on the door. This time, S opened the door again, and there was SOMEONE there. Apparently believing my father was the Ghost of York, he screamed and slammed the door in my dad’s face. I couldn’t have done it any better. I think my brother, who’s now 20, has forgiven me.
Kir Royale, please. Mmmmmmm.
No tricks in my memory.
Unless you count the current Lori’s Childhood Trivia. 😉
I’ll come back later to read your trick.
Longtime lurker here. I will have a dirty martini, up please, and keep ’em coming.
My husband and I have been going at things the old fashioned way since my third miscarriage, an ectopic, last November. The doc has recently informed us that it is time to start considering more testing and probable assistance if we would like to reproduce. Keeping the info on all the different tests and fertility options straight makes my brian hurt. And, I swear to all the higher powers in the universe if one more person tells me to “just relax” all of this will no longer be an issue because I will most certainly be jailed.
This site and the community in general has been a great resource. I am not sure what we will choose to do, if anything at all. I have recently attempted blogging but keeping any type of journal has never been my thing, so we will see how that goes. Thanks for the drink and that extra olive! 😉
My tricks: When I taught middle school, we had this father who would buy us a huge basket of tricks and candy each year for Halloween. One year, he bought me a camera that squirts water. It looked very real and the campus was redesigning their brochure. So I went into this classroom where they were taking an exam and said, “the main office asked me to take some photographs of students hard at work. Do you mind if I take some photos if I’m quiet?” Everyone said it was okay and I aimed and fired at this poor boy who was trying to write out his essay test. I managed to get in three or four squirts before his mind caught up and he realized what was happening. I went down the row, completely serious, trying to spray every child before they jumped on me and took my camera. The father who bought me the camera was the owner of the infamous pee bucket.
Okay, so it’s been awhile since I’ve commented but I’m still here Mel! I’ll take a rye and gingerale please. No, better yet, a strawberry daiquiri. There’s a lot going on…
I’ve started the BCPs for IVF/ICSI #1 (possibly with donor sperm; to be determined at the last moment). Tentative retrieval set for December 1 and transfer for December 4.
Hubby and I embark on a trip to Florida with his children next week and we’re looking forward to that.
My trick story? I have none. Save that right now, hubby’s having a tough time and that lead to some HARD questions this week about whether we needed to look at separating and travelling our own paths from now on. I -think- all is resolved, but some residual tension is ongoing. (With luck, the Florida holiday will help.) Honestly, that is tricky enough. I don’t need anything else to throw me off balance right now.
Hugs to all in blogland. Enjoy the lushary!
I don’t have a trick story. I think the worst thing I’ve ever done is put salt in someone’s coffee instead of sugar. Right.
Well, since I’m on Met and can’t have a drink in real life- give me something hard and straight up!
I’m in an OK place right now. I’m trying to figure out what direction I’m supposed to be heading in. In on sense, I feel like I’m “back” (from where, I have no idea) but I’m reconnecting with friends and feeling a bit like my old self. In another sense, I still feel like my life is on pause. We can’t afford to go forward with any more treatments until after the holidays are over, so I’m trying to just move on and live life in the meantime.
I can’t think of a trick right now – I’m too miserable to think right now. Please give me vodka tonic and make it a double light on the tonic!
One my husband SUCKS with money and it infuriates me.
Two I’m in the third week of my new job that I had to take because I had to get a job. There is another prospect, but I have to wait 6-8 weeks to hear if I got it. This job just doesn’t feel worth leaving my little guy for!
Three I got asked for the first time if I was thinking about number 2 yet. Ok, my son is only 7 months old and my body needs a little break and yeah, we’re infertile so it isn’t something we just think about and then do – it takes much agony and planning. I just told her that I would love to think about #2, but seeing it costs us money just to make the baby I should probably wait until the economy gets a little better.
I’m in the 2ww but I’ll take a large cognac since it’s virtual and all.
This 2ww is the best of waits, and it is the worst of waits. The best because I have a lot of hope, way more than ever before, and it’s fun to hope and whisper secrets to my baby and talk to my dog about it and make my husband laugh with my constant “The baby needs a corndog!” But it’s the worst cause I’m way more in touch with how much I want this, how ready I am, how deep my longing is. And that’s scary.
I can’t think of any good Halloween tricks but a few years ago I surprised my parents by flying out on Boxing Day. I showed up at 8:30 in the morning and rang the doorbell. As my mom was coming down the stairs, I could hear her grumbling about “who could be ringing the doorbell now?” When she opened the door, there were a few beats before she even recognized me, and she just stood there with a mildly pissed off look on her face before completely freaking out and crying and laughing. It was so awesome to surprise her like that!
Ooooh….I want an Eggnog Latte.
I don’t have a trick to share right now (my brain is fried)…but I wanted to ask everyone to pray for my family. We found out (MIL finally told us) that my FIL didn’t have to die. The hospital (excuse the language) fucked up.
How’s about a pitcher of our local brewery’s autumn concoction, a nice, dark yet not bitter schwarz. Mmmm…
Still dawdling in just-barely-pregnant land, waiting to be unpregnant. Enjoying the men in my life recovering from a cancer treatment (dad) and a rough patch of major anxiety (DH).
Trick-wise, I once played a very mild birthday trick on my boss. I worked for a company in the music industry, and we convinced a very cool guy from down the hall to come in with a CD that he insisted my boss had to listen to, claiming it was a hip new mix of polka and merengue or something. My boss tried desperately to get out of it politely, but the guy was really persistent. Finally, he reluctantly put the CD on and it was all of us singing “Happy Birthday.” He was incredibly relieved.
I’m drowning in work, so please drown me in a bucket-size margarita. Mmmmm.
Life is good these days, just HARD. I never dreamed it would be so hard. But good. Anyway. Nice and vague…
http://www.projectprogeny.wordpress.com
(child ment.)
Oh, the trick – I threw a surprise party for my husband’s 40th and he never suspected 🙂 I’m no trickster so I was pretty proud of myself for pulling that off!
I would TOTALLY say, “F*ck” (well, at work I say f*ck, at home I use the real deal). Oh, and I’m not that lady like, I just wear dainty shoes:)
I’d like a Grey Goose and club soda please. Make it a double.
As for tricks, I’m not at all creative. I’ll steal all the ideas here for this year!
You pick the drink. I don’t even want to make that little decision. I’m declaring my brain a thought-free zone because thinking these days is fraught with sad memories. Fet #2 officially kicks off on Wednesday and I’m really having a hard time getting my brain around it. After all, there wasn’t supposed to be a FET #2.
I’ll just take the first bottle you grab, then I’m going over there in the corner.
Oh, and I’ve always been the trickee, rather than the tricker so I’m afraid I don’t have anything to add.
I have been lurking on your blog and have found it so helpful. After getting a prescription for pregestrone on Thursday, I immediately went to your blog to read about it. THANKS!
I am on the 2ww after my first injectibles/IUI cycle for unexplained infertility. I am feeling optimistic but am trying to be realistic. My insurance company will not pay for treatment for unexplained infertility until we have been trying for 2 years so I am paying out of pocket right now. I am very torn on whether to keep paying out of pocket or wait another 10 months until insurance kicks in if this cycle does not work…. Gotta love insurance companies.
Anyway I gave up drinking this month but I would LOVE the rest of the glass of pinot that I had a sip from last night.
I could use a lovely glass of champagne to celebrate my nap from the other day! Other than that, no real news to report. My life is very dull.
Off to follow some stories!
Oh, and I am also a boring trickster. The best thing I’ve ever managed was planning my mom’s surprise party for her 41st birthday. It was awesome!
I think I’ll start with water, but just keep slipping in vodka as the night goes on…
as for the best trick – I have lots of good surprise stories, don’t know if it counts… once I manage to call my boyfriend from the midwest and make it sound like the connection was breaking up so that he’d call me straight back, confirming I was where I was – then I hopped in a cab to fly to where he lived. About 5 hours later I jumped on his back to surprise him. His friend, who was a loveable but very single geek, just sputtered “how the hell do you get pretty girls to fall from the sky and jump you!?!?!”
I’m new here and wow! This is nice. Today is my birthday so I think I’ll have champagne – lots of champagne.
I’m a bit further along than many of you; my daughter (adopted at birth) just turned seven.
I wrote a post about the sadness I feel about her being an only child, and everyone tried to “cheer me up” which didn’t cheer me up at all! Don’t you wish someone would simply say: yeah, that stinks.
I’d like a glass (or three) of champagne, please. I don’t have a damn thing to celebrate, but I don’t have anything bad happening right now, either. That, for me, is enough of a reason for the celebration bubbly.
I don’t really have any trick stories, but I do have a funny one. My father was at the grocery a couple of months ago, and the teenage bag boys were discussing military service. They asked Dad if he was in the military and if so, did he see any action? Dad said yes, he was in the Navy and yes, he sort of saw some action, he was in the Cuban Crisis (y’know, the Cuban Missile Crisis). The boys looked at each other with their mouths hanging open. Then one of them looked anxiously at my father and said, “You were in the Spanish-American War??!” Yeowch! He didn’t look 110, but he sure felt it for the rest of the day…
He used my Mom’s Oil of Olay night creme for a couple of weeks until he got over it…..
So I think I’ll have one last Italian Margarita before my cycle. The stress of the last couple of weeks and not working much is about to drive me nuts. Not to mention the stress of waiting on meds to arrive (my Lupron still hasn’t been shipped and I’m supposed to start on Wednesday) and the upcoming IVF. Wow. So much going on. OH and job interviews too.
I’ll be having a top shelf margarita or a caramel apple martini…make that both. Today my son is 10 months old. I am starting to get my mind around last month’s miscarriage. I have the worst luck ever. I’m hoping to enjoy what I have, and not be too disappointed if FET #2 does not bring us number 2. I really wish that we weren’t in this boat. If infertility is the trick, I’d much prefer the treat. My treat is sleeping soundly upstairs.
Ahhh- is time already for my monthly kahula and cream? I’ve got my sombrero on!
My trick – Bear in mind I was the only child of the superindendant of schools (yeah- loads of laughs!).
I’m 15 years old and have my first boyfriend. I’m a goodie two shoes. He’s a wild man. See the attraction? It’s Halloween night and we are out with a group of kids doing teenagerish type things…HE starts throwing eggs. Ok – I think, this is pretty typical…I’ll give it a go.
I really get into it. Feeling bad never felt so good! I’m hurling eggs like an outfielder and laughing my ass off when I hear a shrill noise and everyone around me starts running.
I had been throwing eggs at a POLICE CAR! Well – if you’re gonna do it…do it right, right?
(don’t get me too drunk ok?)
Hey, thanks Loribeth! I’m game for a drink (or twelve 😉 these days. Make mine a tall glass of white wine.
In short: my bro and wife are expecting in April (the same month *I* would have been expecting, if that was meant to be/possible). They just told me last Friday. Tough to hear for many reasons. But I am very happy for them … just sad for us, that’s all.
The rest of it: Job prospecting is going really well. I think I might end up with something awesome but I can’t tell y’all until I know! Our new kitten is adjusting well to our house of many creatures. We will soon be able to introduce her to our dogs and cats (which will make our lives easier … also, I’ll be able to sleep in our bed with my hubby again!)
Loribeth, the next round is on me! You’re awesome … thanks for my first drink here. Mel: thanks for tending bar!
I’ve always hated the taste of alcohol, so I’ll take a tea- Earl Grey- hot- with cream and honey.
The trick: I am famous in my family for the prank I played on my sister T in grade school. I had a creepy porcelain doll and convinced her it was possessed by the devil. I would claim that it moved and we would run out of the room. One day I took the doll and put its hands around my neck, and dipped a knife in ketchup so it would look like blood. I screamed for help, and my sister found me writhing in bed with the doll “strangling” me, next to a “bloody” knife. She ran into the kitchen and got a knife from the drawer to kill the doll with. My mom caught her and I was busted.
I was mean- but it was hilarious. When we are trying to call bullshit on each other, my 3 sisters and I always say, “The doll did it!”
I really, really need something good and strong but that doesn’t taste like alcohol. Make me something fruity and potent please Mel!
Ok, so since my last update (miscarriage followed a week and a half later by ruptured ectopic- yes, I’m THAT Mary) I found out my neice is pg with her 2nd baby and due right around what would have been my due date. Ouch! Also, 7 weeks after my 2nd surgery (the tube removal) my HCG is still at 11. I am so tired of these weekly blood draws that tell me my body still doesn’t realize it isn’t pregnant anymore. Oh and my hair is falling out, but I finally got meds to help with that.
On a happy note I am so overwhelmed by the generosity and love that comes pouring out of this community. You all are the best
I will take a COLD beer or a case. No high maintenance here 🙂 I true UGA girl with a beer.
Nothing really is going on here. I got my final BFN for 2008 last week. I have been taking Zoloft, though, and really just can’t feel much. I cried and went to bed (I sleep when sad) but, it was by far the most graceful BFN I’ve had since last Fall.
I am severly Type A and am trying to get things in order to visit a new RE in January (waiting on new insurance). I spoke to them today and we’ll do a few blood tests in January and they want my records ASAP. The old RE is sending me a check for my overpayment – always nice to get money back! I’d have rather paid a million dollars, though, a be PG with a healthy baby.
Keep the cold ones coming, Mel. Thanks for the open bar!!!
Mel, you are so creative!!
I’ll have a Southern Comfort on the rocks (it is after 10am isn’t it?)
Life is very very good right now. We are enormously lucky.
The only stupid trick I ever played was leaving a note to my brother from Dracula threatening to get him on Halloween. Early the next morning (like 5am) I covered his neck in ketchup which was s’posed to be the blood oozing out of the puncture wounds. He never even noticed.
i need something strong. one of my older relatives (who does not read my blog) called to chew me out because another of my relatives may or may not have found my blog. he won’t tell me exactly, and it’s very frustrating. so, i’ve shut down my blog, which is my therapy and my community, in order to protect my adopted children. (they are biologically my 3rd cousins.)any photos or sensitive info about them was password protected, but he won’t tell me anything to let me know if my password has been passed on to people who should not have it.
bottom line is my blog is gone and i’m not even sure it was necessary. i’m not sure if i should blog again, or just keep my thoughts to myself. it’s been less than a week and i already miss everything about it.
used to be http://www.candysland.wordpress.com.
Ya know, I’m a simple girl. How ’bout a cold Coo.rs Lt? Nothin’ better then a Silver Bullet. And some nachos. Made with real cheese, not that notcho sauce.
I have myself in a twitter. My first US is tomorrow. I have convinced myself that there will be a big fat goose egg on the screen. Nada. Zilch. Zip. My pregnancy symptoms seem to have diminished significantly. So, I’m dreading my appointment tomorrow and crying about every three minutes. And, of course, DH refuses to talk about it or even discuss the remote possibility.
Trick? My co-worker has a huge bowl of candy in his office. He has it all rigged up so a spider drops on your head if you go for a bite-size bit of heaven. I scream. Every time. So the tricks on HIM.
Treat: Rum. Barcardi if you have it. I am back from TTC hiatus and ready to get punch drunk in the obessiveness of it all. I have my BBT termometer cocked and ready. Unopened OPK and HPT x3! Bring on the madness! Battling PCOS is going to be a bitch but I have seen so many win. I just hope that I will be the next.
I am just catching up from being an ‘old regular… been in a very good emotional state for about three months (well, except for finances and politics)……… Thanks for all your encouraging posts Mel.
So I will join many of you with a glass of very chilled brut champagne with maybe a cranberry tossed in for looks.
I would like to chat, anyone who needs to learn about patience, we have it over at our blog!
Hope to see you there!
Alyson
Mommy to Alyzabeth for Six Weeks!
Forever Family Day 09/16/08
I’m dealing with some unfinished business that coincides with two failed cycles starting this time a few years ago. Sigh. Heading to wine country soon but if you want to start me out with a nice pinot noir I’ll take it.
(No tricks to share as this is one holiday I could very easily do without. Hasn’t been a favorite for a very long time.)
I just read about Io’s apple cider, and that sounded so good–Ill have that with a splash of vodka. Thanks!
Trick: I used to love hiding in my mom’s closet after we would watch scary movies–she finally said she’d start hiding in my closet when I least expected it, so the hiding quickly came to a stop…=)
Thanks for the invite . . . glass of reisling please?
This year’s miscarriage fell the exact same time as last year’s miscarriage. I feel like I am in some sort of time warp. The holidays can be so disappointing to begin with and this makes it worse.
My Hubby has a mannequin head that manages to pop up all over the house. He scares me with it all the time – it will be in the cabinet, the refrigerator, you name it. He is really scared of Michael Myers (from the Halloween movies) so one year I put a Michael Myers mask on the mannequin head and put it in bed with him. HA!!!! I laughed about it for days.