Many Kisses and Ruby Slippers
I thought it would be a good idea to open the Virtual Lushary this week before everyone heads into the holidays. For some people, next week will be extraordinarily painful. For others, it will be relief after a long period of wanting. And for Jews, it will be a to bitch about how nothing is open. Merry Christmas!
I have posted a most obnoxious amount of photos from our DC get together so I will understand completely if you need to scroll quickly to the comment section and place your drink order. But below is many (though not all–only 14 of us) of TOOTPU.
What is TOOTPU? It is the Order of the Plastic Uterus so named because of this little sweetie:
We kick more ass than Harry Potter and could take down Voldemort with a single blog post. We convened at Leah’s house who is the procurer of said uterus (oh, it is a story worth hearing and perhaps, if you ply her with many a drink, it will come spilling out). We ate a lot of cookies and cried and teased each other and fuck, it was really hard to go home. I knew Josh needed to leave for work, but how many times do you get to hang out face-to-face with all these incredible women all in one moment? We get together once a month as a group, but it’s always magical when so many people attend all at once.
Top Row (L–R): Sell Crazy Someplace Else, Our Family Beginnings, In and Out of Luck, A Little Sweetness, Yummy Sushi Pajamas, and Antigone Lost.Bottom Row (L–R): A Sibling for Celia, Chez Perky, Stirrup Queens, My Journey Towards My Little Miracle, Tales of My Dusty Ovaries, and Hoping for Another Lovebug.
Jen and Lindsay and Meghan relaxing on the sofa
B, J, and Shelby chatting by the tree
A hug between Lindsay and In
Bean, Meghan, Leah, and Sunny
And then laughing hysterically
Sunny and Karen chatting about multiples (I was not included in the conversation after I told Sunny that every time she called me in the first few months, I was going to remind her how much sleep I’m now getting. I wish there was a job where I could get paid to tease Sunny).
Standing ata strange angle + wearing a sweater that draws many a comment = most unflattering picture ever
Bean and Leah laughing while Antigone looks veeeeeeeeeery serious
Yummy Sushi Pajamas chats with Antigone
Sunny and KarenA sidenote on the post’s title: for some reason, I thought the drink we had at Leah’s was called ruby slippers and not ruby sippers and I really like it better that way. Everyone could use a pair of red shoes to click together under the table when they’re chanting to themselves, “there’s no place like home.” So, if you are sad or frustrated this holiday, pour your heart out below. And if you are joyous, pour your heart out below. And know that you have a world of people who have your back even when you’re far away from the screen.
It has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
0 comments
Seriously? I’m first? Is it too early? It’s never too early for a drink, especially here.
I am so dreading the next week. J and I got each other a few presents, and did up a gift basket for my parents but… ugh.
This is the first holiday season I can remember that I haven’t wanted to do anything. And yet I feel more cheerful and festive than ever. There’s just something about loss that makes me appreciate people even more. Even if I can’t stand being around them. It always happens.
I’ll take anything you’ve got, really.
Subjected myself to the dreaded HPT this AM. BFN even with everything looking the best it had for the IUI.
I just want to go back to bed and start the day over without this knowledge, so perhaps some warm milk?
Well, it’s 8:05. I think I’ll start with a mimosa and see how the day goes from here.
This holiday season started out promising for me. As usual, I was ahead on gift shopping and card sending. And I was all into the spirit of it. Then last week my boss had the “don’t know how we are going to make it next year” speech. Been in a funk since then. How can I be happy when so many people are getting laid off (or on the verge of it, like me)?
Ridiculous. I have to shake off this funk, and be grateful for what I do have. So, I finished off my holiday cards last night, and I am trying to get back into the spirit of the season.
I could use a couple of heavily spiked egg nogs, tho! (Or a mudslide—yes, I like chocolate in my drinks!)
I’m with N. I am more celebratory of the season than I have been in years, yet I don’t want any gifts -nor do I feel the need to give any.
A drink? you ask…I would love one, but I’m on meds so, will have to wait till Next Year!!
Your pictures are amazing. Oh – to live in a populated place where gatherings of such grand proportion are POSSIBLE!
Next time, someone better remind me to put on makeup prior to the gathering. What’s with me and the red face? Seriously. It’s like I’m the new Jewish Santa.
No alcohol (virtual or otherwise) for moi. My effective weight loss is all about the mental mindset.
Thanks, Mel, you are godsend — I could really use a drink this morning!! We had a dump of snow overnight (about 10 cm or 4 inches) and all the trains into the city were delayed. Dh & I had dentist appointments at 8 a.m. & were half an hour late, & he was in a fine mood as a result (insert rolling eyes icon here).
Then I got to work & there was a message from my family dr. I just had a mammogram on Monday, but it normally takes at least one week, maybe two, before I hear the results. They had to redo one of the views because it looked blurry. I looked at the dr's number on my call display & just about had a heart attack, because I KNEW it had to be bad news for them to be calling only two days after the test.
Nope — everything was normal. That was almost an hour ago & I think my heart rate has only just returned to normal. But hey, it was good news, & at least I won't have to fret about it over the holidays now!
So I'll have my usual mimosa (since it's not yet noon) & toast you & everyone else (before I get back to work!). There's no place like home, indeed, & that's where I will be heading this weekend. I am looking forward to it! Merry Christmas to all!
I’d like a Kahlua milkshake. That way I can pretend its healthy. I don’t have anything to bitch about except my doggie being hurt (she may need surgery for a possible ruptured acl). Lending my ears to all who need to talk and my shoulders to those who need someone to lean on or a shoulder to cry on.
Well, I could use a little something fruity to take the edge off. The red tape involved in Dora and I’s little caper is kind of getting to me. My old clinic is really pissing me off! But it WILL work out if I have to drive to MI with a tank from our new clinic and transport them myself!
The holidays are kind of bitersweet this year. The kids understand it so much more and are really loving it… A wise woman once warned me that the second year after a loss is oft harder than the first. She was right.
I enjoyed your pics from your get together…. wish there was a gang of us up here in the frozen tundra. We could get our dog sleds out and meet at one of our igloos. We’d have a ball!
PS…Mel, I emailed you because I need your help with something.
Mel-
This is a fantastic idea! I would love something to warm me up.. although I do think today we are supposed to be above zero for a short time.
I'll take a Captain Morgan Wave Runner. Yes I know its a poshy beer but that's how I roll.
Its been a year from hell for me. Every time I turn around, I keep getting told wait, be patient, keep trying. And most days I want to scream f*&$ that, I want a baby now! The closer I get to 30 (and I realize I am still "young" compared to a lot of others), the bigger the infertility monster gets. I've worked in the medical field enough to know the risks of having a child after 30…. and I am scared to death.
This Christmas has been particularly hard because the feeling inside of wanting a child has intensified drastically. I am on a never ending roller coaster ride, and I HATE roller coasters.
So here's to 2009…. I can only wonder where God will have me go next on this journey.
ONE MORE FINAL! That’s it. One more and I graduate – finally! WOOT!!
On the other side: We’re going to dad’s this weekend for an early Christmas. I’m having a much harder time than usual getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I know why – this was always “our” season. Me and Mom. I haven’t been back home since mom died and I’d be perfectly happy never going back, but I don’t have that option. It’s going to be hard.
So pass that Ruby Slipper over here. Maybe a little liquid courage will help with me going home. I can’t think of anything more appropriate. (and can you send me the ingredient list?)
The pics are awesome and its cool to put faces to the amazing blogs these super women write. You guys looked like you had a fabulous time.
Nothing to complain about here, thank God. Currently in 2ww, test 12-23 and this is my 6th embryo transfer. Feeling really positive about this time and hoping it is it.
I just want to say to you Melissa, and I bet I speak for all of us, how amazing you are. What a place you have created for so many of us. Your blogroll, your blog, the bringing together so many of us has been THE thing for me.
When I started Wishing4One, I never dreamed that it would connect me to SO SO MANY amazing women, never. And I’d like to say Stirrup Queens was the main contributing factor no doubt.
So Happy Hannukhah, Merry Christmas and thanks from the bottom of my infertile heart for doing all you do. You have helped make my journey that much more easy, really I mean it!
And you know coffee in Cairo is ready anytime for you and you’re family.
xoxoxoxoxo
I want to whisk you away on a plane and go have coffee with Wishing4One.
OR.
Bring me a Tom Collins. Feeling retro and introspective.
And pulling back on blogging for a few weeks.
Looks like a lot of fun. I love your sweater.
what terrific pix! looks like a great time was had by all.
I’m having a new drink I discovered on M’s bday last week — it’s called “harvest moon” — ice cold smooth lemon vodka with pureed persimmon and a splash of lemon, topped with a (wait for it) cinnamon sugar rim. whoa. so. very tasty. in fact, I’ll have three, just line ’em up. why don’t you sit with me and have a few?
I’m feeling a bit angsty which translates into either anger or depression — I’ve been alternating cursing mixed with a sudden need to lean into my favorite chair and sob. just exhausted really, and feeling the total lack of control….
and how are you feeling?
I have a beta tomorrow (the first time I’ve ever gotten to a beta day without AF showing up!), so I’ll keep my drink something non-alcoholic. Maybe a vanilla milkshake or something like that. But if you can Mel, please keep a stiff drink behind the bar for me? I suspect that by tomorrow night, I’m going to need it. Maybe a disaronno and coke or something. That would be lovely. Four or five of them will help immensely if tomorrow goes badly! For now, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed.
Happy Holidays to everyone! May 2009 bring good things for us all.
hurrah for the lush room!
This is the first year we are attempting Christmas in 3 years. We had avoided it because it seemed to agitate Grandmother so so much. But this year she is more quiet and actually able to enjoy our little tree. I catch her trying to count the lights and it makes my heart smile.
I recently found a bunch of videos I filmed of my Grandparents while I was on a holiday break from my know it all freshman year at NYU. I have like 30 minutes of footage of my Grandmother shopping, footage of my Grandfather cooking a bbq…
I am missing family the way it once was. So much. I worry that with so much of my family gone that I won’t have any traditions to cling to.
Can I have a nice warm mug of something that has been simmering on the stove? I’ll pretend it isn’t 80 effing degrees outside.
I want a ruby slipper, please 🙂 It looks like yall had such a nice time! How wonderful to live near eachother and have that IRL support!!!
I don’t have much going on right now – work is pretty slow and we are just waiting for January to get started with IVF (3rd time is a charm, right?) and our new RE. I’m trying to lose a few lbs before starting, hoping that mgiht help the ol’ ovaries. We shall see.
Happy Holidays to all – may 2009 be a better year for us all.
Oh I love all the pictures–makes me miss you fab gals so very much. Thanks for sharing!
Just lots of Christmas prayers that Ron hangs in for as long as possible without a scary bleed from my previa. Bummed I cant travel for Christmas, but thankful for great care.
Id love some sparkling cider, please!
Thanks for posting the pics from TOOTPU! I read so many of those blogs – it was really a treat to put faces with the names.
Could I just get some warm eggnog? I am working on an illness and my throat is killing me today.
Both of my miscarriages have been in Sept/Oct and last year I was a basket case emotionally but really clung to the Christmas spirit. Now that I look back on it, I was almost frantic.
This year, I am not near as upset about my most recent loss but Christmas seems more like a hassle than something I should be enjoying. Really, I could take it or leave it and THAT is what makes me sad. Not that we don’t have children of our own to share it with or even this last miscarriage but the fact that I don’t enjoy Christmas this year. *SIGH* I feel like such a drag.
But ditto to everything Wishing 4 One said!!
I’ll have one of those ruby slippers.
The gathering looks like so much fun. I’ll have to check your get together schedule in the Spring and take the Bolt.bus down.
No major whine from me today. I have faith that Angrycanrn will overcome the bull$*#t involved with moving her property!
I am getting the best gift ever! I’m such a nut, I’m obsessing over names already. Girl’s is easy, a boy’s name is tougher.
Love to you all, my peeps!
I’ll take something strong. I don’t drink, so I have no idea… but your the bar tender, you must know of something good. Sweet, please. Nothing too icky tasting. Something yum, that I’ll forget about how yum it was after I pass out.
My vented quite a bit on my blog, but the short version is that we were supposed to do a medicated cycle this month, and it got pushed off (again). It was my choice this time around, but not *really*, b/c I didn’t *choose* to get my period 6 days early.
Next year will be my sixth year of trying to get pregnant with a third kid. I feel totally guilty for even complaining — I have two wonderful boys!! But after the miscarriages, and all the trying, and all those dreams of having a big family — I’m still sad and frustrated that I can’t just get pregnant with a baby, one that will stick and be healthy and all those great things.
Oh… give me another drink. I think I’m gonna cry, and I so don’t want to…
If you like, come read my entire vent at my blog here… Why I’m not giving up, yet. Love and kisses and return comments for all visitors, of course.
You guys are a fabulous group. Next time can I please have some alcohol in my ruby slipper?
MAN! Did I NEED this today in the worst way! Warning, I may be here (at the Virtual Bar) for awhile – just call a cab for me at closing time! I'll start with an Irish Coffee cuz I'm so stinkin' cold!
DH & I have exhausted the number of IUI's that Insurance will pay for. We get a fresh batch of money but can't use any of it for IUI's (or IVF, GIFT, ZIFT, etc) – so basically I get to decide if we're going to do more with Injectables (including the wonderful "cooter cam" that comes with them) and just have lots of sex or move right in to IVF (cash payments) or Adoption. We are at the crossroads that I dreaded for so long.
I also want my IL's to quit making references to the fact that we don't have children – "We're just buying for the adults this year so don't expect any gifts for your house. You don't have kids." NICE!
Yup… gonna be here awhile.
Oh! I have a private blog, but if you want an invite I'm giving them out – as long as you're not one of my DH's middle school students! Email me at jenjubes@gmail.com
I haven’t updated my blog in ages and I feel terribly guilty about it. And despite yearning for years to send a holiday card with a pic of our child on it, I just ordered them today. I’m not quite with it I think.
Preparing for the holiday, the baby’s first Xmas, has been bittersweet. I’m not as into it as I hoped to be. He’s a joy and so delightful (smiling and laughing and charming the socks off old ladies at Target), but I’m back at work now and pumping enough milk for him is hard, and being away from him is hard, and he is not sleeping well so I’m not sleeping well and all those parts just suck. But having a baby to love at a time of year that is all about children is way better than the way we spent all our other Xmases.
Hugs to those who are having a tough time this year. It sucks and I hope your wishes come true very soon.
And Mel, you rock. Enjoy all those christmas carols and holdiay candy while you can.
It looks like you guys had so much fun!
BTW I will take the strongest drink you got and keep ’em comin’. I am so ready for the holidays to be over. I find myself at holiday gatherings filled with pregnant women thinking – what would all my bloggy friends say? I think a holiday party with all of you would be so much more fun!
It’s cold, snowing and my job pretty much sucks. Is 2009 here yet?
Hmmm, I’d like a Jim Beam and coke. Make that a double!
This year has been the worst ever, but for some reason I’m deliriously optimistic for 2009. We’ve been TTC #2 for over a year. Just found out DH has some issues, not sure what they are, won’t know until January. Doesn’t help that I don’t ovulate regularly.
All that aside, I really am looking forward to the new year. After I finish this batch of Opk’s i’m done buying those and worrying about that 2nd line.
I’m soooo incredibly thankful for this sight and being able to meet people going through the same things. It puts life in perspective.
How about another drink so we can talk about how great 2009 is going to be?
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season. 🙂
http://starsandbabies.blogspot.com/
I’ll have a coffee and kahlua and maybe some of those tom waits cookies if you don’t mind. Seriously I’m still thinking about those damn cookies.
The holidays are an emotional time for me. I remember the year before last trying to hold it together at family gatherings shortly after my miscarriage, and then last year feeling really unfomfortable finally outing my pregnancy at the family gathering (mind you I was 5 months) and this year although B is here safe and sound I still feel the sting of the years prior.
Oh and am I the only one totally jealous of their get togethers? It looks like so much fun.
that get together looked so fun!
I really need a virtual drink since I’m having none IRL. Get me a bottle of a good French bubbly, so I can relax, laugh and forget that I’m in my 2ww.
I actually celebrate the Winter Solstice so I’m cooking a fantastic dinner on Sunday.
DH’s nephew, who’s 16 and has been living with us for the past 5 months, is leaving in January! hooray! I’ll toast to that.
And I’m really hoping that our spare room will then become a nursery…
cheers!
Since I’m trying to be incredibly virtuous with this pregnancy (I don’t want to find myself in a spot where I have to wonder if I ate/drank/bathed/lifted/whatever something wrong…ah, guilt and nerves, such a great combination), I’ll just stick with a glass of club soda and cranberry juice with a twist of lime.
S and I are dealing with a rather high level of stress. I’m tending towards the “Sleep through it” route, while he struggles to find a balance between wrapping me in bubble wrap and sticking me in the closet for the next nine months and actually letting me live a little. I’m learning to be careful about complaining about any little ache or twinge because pregnancy-related or not, it sets him off. Starting a new pregnancy at about the same time we lost the twins last year makes for a strange blend of emotions.
Hold the drinks for me, please, Mel – though I have reason to celebrate. Many people are calling this my Christmas miracle, but being of the Hebrew persuasion, I’m calling it: “A Great Miracle Happened Here”. I am 42 – had completely STOPPED trying to have a baby, didn’t know the day of my LMP – and what the hell: knocked up!?!?!? At least for now!!!
So I guess it’s some warm milk with a little vanilla shot in there for me!
I am, of course, thrilled – but also scared, freaked out, confused, you name it. First off, we’ve had 5 documented miscarriages — though in none of those pregnancies did we see a heartbeat, which we did this time (yesterday!). Secondly, WTF!?!?!? We were getting our heads around no kids; we’re old; we’re freaked out and I’ve decided that I’m lazy and selfish — not great parenthood material, wouldn’t you say????
Also, I HATE to reinforce the “just relax” stereotype!?!?!? AHGhghghghg. I don’t even like to tell people that. I know for so many of my bloggy sisters and brothers, no amount of relaxing is going to do SHIT!!! I’m sorry everyone, for feeding into that b.s.!!!
And it feels too weird blogging about my rising betas, eps and the like. Too weird.
Still, I’m nursing all the hope I can muster along with my warm milk.
As for the holidays? No sweat. Don’t celebrate. There will doubtless be some tension as my step daughter will be in town with her mother. It’s all good when she comes on her own, but there are always strange and stressful hijinks when her mother tags along. Let’s hope this pregnancy lasts and I can have a MAJOR distraction!!
To those of you who celebrate Christmas: have a good one!!
To everyone else: see you at the movies!
peace
shlomit
First Christmas without my dad: it’s going to suck.
Hello there. I would like a hot mug of Abuelita Mexican chocolate milk. I am dreading the prospect of surgery and have not called my RE’s office to remind them to schedule it but I am hurting and waiting for the next cyst to rupture and know I need surgery At the same time my thoughts are on the three boys we have our eye on to possibly adopt. And it’s cold here. I loved the pictures of your get together was so FREAKIN JEALOUS of the support and encouragement I felt oozing from them. How edifying that time together must have been.
I’ll drink anything at this point, but I like dessert wines, so I’ll have some 20 year old tawny port.
I swear that when my husband and I … uh… um…. do our intimacy thing (yes, I know this is an infertility blog and I should be able to say this flat out, but on someone else’s blog it somehow seems wrong) during my fertile time, I get symptoms like sore b00bs and stuff, which promptly go away when it’s time for AF to arrive. But when we don’t, my symptoms aren’t there. Is this psycho-somatic? Do I invent an almost pregnancy each time just for hope to build me up and then beat me down? Or is there something truly chemical going on?
Honestly, I’m baffled. I just don’t understand it.
This is why I need to drink.
Mel, I hereby declare that your next group meeting should be held in Sydney, Australia.
XOXOXOXOX
Can I have some Vodka and Coke?
I’m having a bad day. My husband’s dental surgery is dipping into my injectable funds, and making me wonder if I’ll ever have the money saved up now. I’m just so frustrated. I’ve got a frickin’ cold, on top of my husbands upcoming surgury, cycle day one is almost upon me and I am going to be trying soy… so probably no Ov for me. Again. Ha, I have Ov’ed a grand total of 2 times in 2008. Not only that, my EDD of my loss is January 3rd, and I’m depressed about that. And my birthday is next month. And I’ve been trying to have a baby for about 2 years now, and I just want to SCREAM.
I feel a blog post coming on. (*sigh*)
Can I have another shot of Vodka?
I need an imaginary drink to steel my not-so-imaginary nerves. What is it about upcoming appointments that can leave you flat on the ground even though nothing has even happened yet? It just need to keep my head until 1:45pm tomorrow.
How about a lovely glass of cab merlot? Or two?
You all look like you had so much fun!! I want to come to your get together some time. I may have to plan a trip around that.
Now, for my drink. I’m still in that numb is good stage. So with that in mind I’m reminded of the long island iced teas we used to get at the shilo inn in Seaside, Or. They came in fishbowls. I’d like one of those please.
It looks like you all had a great time…how nice to all get together in person!
*******
I’ll take a glass of Pinot Noir.
Oh, and can I go to sleep and not wake up until Friday?
Five years ago tomorrow, my Mom lost her very brave, almost 5 year battle with Ovarian cancer. I was seven months pregnant with my daughter.
I find it hard to feel the holiday spirit until after December 18th.
Yeah, I’ll have another glass of wine…
I’d like a glass of red wine, please, and keep them coming because we’re going to be driving from Kansas City to San Antonio and back for Christmas and will suffer while there because my racist, narcissistic, OCD grandmother will be in attendance. Plus my MIL is INSANE ever since Evie was born. I loved my MIL for 10 freaking years and never really understood MIL jokes. Now I do. Other than those two complaints, my Christmas is all goodness and light and cheer for the first time in years.
Hmmm… I would love a glass of red wine, and you can leave the bottle.
I think I made the right decision this cycle. We decided not to do anything, and I think that decision was based in part on being able to drink during the holidays. Something about alcohol makes the holidays and family easier to take.
We juat finished an IUI with injectables cycle, which obviously was BFN. (Can’t you tell, I am drinking, a lot!) Sigh. We are trying again in the new year. I may try to get our DI stuff together in the new year, as well. I think we are heading in that direction.
At least I can drink this holiday season. It will make it easier to deal with my in-laws, who have no clue about infertility. All I will hear this holidays season about about the babies and the children in the family, making me feel really empty. Thank goodness for alcohol.
For the first time, I don’t really want a drink with alcohol. I’ve been sick all week. Maybe a milkshake. Someone else was having that and it sounded good. 2008 was probably the best year yet with the baby finally with us. But the loss in October still gets me down. We’re supposed to try another FET in January. It will be our last shot, please excuse the pun. After that we’ll have to decide if one is enough or go through ivf all over. I can’t even imagine that right now. Im trying to get my mind around being a family with a single child. The dreams of three have all but faded. I’m just scared he’ll be lonely. That idea makes me want to keep going. Happy Holidays to everyone. I hope everyone’s dreams come true in 2009.
Oh the insanity. We will be moving into our new house this weekend and then hosting 20 people for Christmas dinner 4 days later. The house won’t be perfect, but I want to celebrate at home (where I can be in charge.) I guess it is good that I have been so busy so I haven’t had as much time to think about the babies we lost. I sometimes find myself obsessing over everything I remember from the hospital. Is this normal? It’s like if I forget what happened I will foget that baby. I told you I am crazy at the moment. I guess my gift this holiday was finally getting my period. It has been 6 months since we saw a heartbeat, you wouldn’t think it would take so long. Anyway, although this year sucked I am still feeling blessed to have such wonderful support through the tough times. You all are welcome in sunny AZ anytime you need to escape the winter.
We’re starting IVF#3 today, with a hysteral-a-ma-whosa-ma-whatsit. I think that says it all…
Crap, I didn’t say that the preferred drink of the day will be that fun little ruby sLipper please.
I think I just want to sit and listen to the humming noise in the room for a bit. I want to be lost in others’ stories. I haven’t posted about what’s troubling me, but will perhaps get around to it soon. I’m healthy, we’re all in one piece, damn economy though. Can I just have something warm to drink, please?
Something stong please… hard enough to make me forget today.
Today was my due date. The only one I’ve had in 5 1/2 years.
Please make me forget.
I am blessed and still worried–
And my sister has really hurt my feelings and a bit mean. I just want to rest for a bit while drinking something tasty. Surprise me.
Bah, a magnum of Cristalino or something similar would be fine.
After three months of waiting for my hCG to drop after my first and only pregnancy, my period decides to make further treatment and holiday plans mutually exclusive.
A silly end to a sucky year.
I’ll have one of those ruby slippers as well.
I did an IUI last year, right about this time, and ended up feeling like such a elpless freak because I wasn’t able to handle it. The hormones gave me hot flashes, I was moody, one second laughing, one second cring, oh, and the weight gain. I haven’t been able to shake the weight off yet. It wasn’t so much the failure that got me, I’m used to not being pregs, it was the package. I told my husband (in tears) that I couldn’t continue. I had spread my legs for one too many insensitive doc that seemed to see me as a walking uterus and nothing more.
Fast foreward to two months ago. I told the husband that if we could change fertiity specialists, try to find someone a bit more human, who just might listen, I’d be willing to try again. Husban cried out of joy, and off we went. New doc (a woman to my relief) asked us to do all the tests -minus the hsg (I said no) again. We did them. Yesterday we called to make an appointment for the thirteenth day of my cycle so that she could do an eco.
“The clinic will be closed for ten days and your 13th falls right in thhe middle of that period.”
I try to explain to the secretary that every moment counts, and that we are leaving France in a couple of months, and do not have much time. I plead with her at least for a general consultation before the clinic closes, as I will have all of the other results, and already did all these fracking tests a year ago, at which time the results WERE ALREADY BAD, so they aren’t going to be better. Can’t we just get on with this? Don’t you people understand.
She did her job, with a gentle, cold, firm ‘no’.
“The doctor will not be available for consultation before February.”
I fell into a liimp ball and wondered if I could make it that long.