Spring into Summer
You know the opening of Our Town, when the narrator is setting the scene and you’re finding out these small facts about all the town members? Well, that’s sort of what reading the comments on the last post was like. Just picturing each person engaged in an activity, and then sitting down at their computer. A small insight into their world.
In my funk, I have mentally checked out of spring and into summer. My mind is on beaches, and beaches, and swimming pools, and then beaches. I am well aware that it is only May and too cold on most days to go swimming. In fact, it is grey and dreary and raining today. But that doesn’t mean that my mind hasn’t stretched out her towel and plopped down with some trashy books and a fruity drink.
The bar is open if you want to join me.
As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
45 comments
I’d like a glass of Pinot Noir, please. It takes time to open up but once it does, it fills you with so many exciting flavors. So, I’ve been walking around my house today, trying to figure out how I’m going to write my next entry — it’s about a show I saw on TLC last night and it has raised more questions in me that I don’t know how to even tackle them. “Pregnant at 70” was the show. It follows 3 women who had at least one child via IVF at 58 or older (one was 70!). Man, I’m really torn. Maybe I just need to start writing (this is helping by the way!) and something will come out. Hope everyone will check in later today and join the conversation. It should be a lively one…
Margarita-on-the-rocks-with-salt, please! (What, too quick? Don’t judge. It’s almost noon. Here, even – not like at 8am when I was justifying my desire for a drink by saying it’s noon in, er, England.)
It’s been three months since my early miscarriage and I’m getting ready for my first IUI this week. I am nervous, excited, angry and, dare I say, hopeful. Cheers!
I’ve gone off Guiness this month and I’m back on the red wine. Merlot is my favourite type at the moment, do they have that in America? I’ll bring a bottle along otherwise.
Going through some intense emotional stuff at the moment. It’s very dark and nasty, but I’d like to think it’s healing me somehow. Like antisceptic in a wound. The three middle stages of grief – anger, bargaining and depression, all hitting me at once in the same month. So I’m not exactly a barrel of laughs right now, but I’m confident it’ll pass.
I’ll take a lovely glass of ice water with lemon (yep, it’s 1ww time for me!). Not only did I experience what I think was my first-ever migraine (could that be a pg symptom at 9DPO?), I had to walk away from friends/co-workers talking about how easy it is for them to get pg. I mean really, how many times do I have to hear “my husband just winks at me and oops, I’m pregnant”?!? Hello, a little sensitivity around the reproductively-challenged, please! I’m going crazy enough in my last few days before POAS, now I find out that even more co-workers are pg (I think it’s up to 6 now). If this IUI (#5) doesn’t do the trick, I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m trying to hang onto that last shred of hope, while preparing myself for the disappointment of another BFN. What a fine tightrope we walk sometimes!
I would like a strawberry margarita, frozen please. Make it strong – I need it! I asked for distraction from the 2ww, but I should be more careful what I ask for as my distraction came in the form of a car accident and huge hailstorm that damaged my home. (We are all ok) Sigh…next time I’ll just ask for a good book to take my mind of the obsessing.
I’ll take a beer, Sam Adams Light if you have it. We’ve been watching too many basketball playoffs and I can’t stand basketball. And we’re still on the “holy cow the President held our babies” high over here, even though it was a week ago already. Otherwise, I’m in a similar funk that I can’t shake. And the rainy coolish days mean not getting out of the house, the one where all four walls are closing in. It’s 1:30 and I’ve already pulled out all of the tricks to keep the boys entertained. Only 4.5 hours until their dad comes home and we can have a real beer. You know, while we watch basketball…
Mel, you are a godsend. I’ll have a frozen margarita out on the patio, please. Work has not been especially busy lately, but my boss for most of the past 16 years took early retirement at the end of April, with just two weeks’ notice. The director above her who left in August STILL hasn’t been replaced, & last week another coworker in my group announced she is leaving (last day = tomorrow). And we’re still awaiting the results of an organizational review that has been ongoing since last fall.
So I am counting down the days until I head home to see my parents!! We’re going to be attending the neighbours’ daughter’s wedding next weekend. I am giving one of the toasts, & I think I am going to be a blubbering mess. She was 3 months old when my parents moved in across the street — 26 now & a wonderful young woman — and like a member of the family — the granddaughter my parents never had. We will also be planning my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary party in July while I’m there.
Meanwhile, dh & I are trying to figure out when & how we are going to celebrate our own 25th wedding anniversary (which is July 6th). Late June is out because all hands are needed on deck while the friggin’ G20 are in town :p (even though my inclination is to stay as far away from it all as we can!). We (at least, dh) can’t even take our actual anniversary date off because two of dh’s co-workers have already booked that week. We’re thinking Nova Scotia &/or PEI in late August or September, but trying to get dh to look at a calendar & commit to dates is like pulling teeth sometimes. SIGH. (Make that two margaritas, on second thought…!)
hi!!!! since it’s VIRTUAL and I can drink booze I will have an APPLE Martini..Yum, Yum, Yum.
I am in the middle of a fibro flare since the weekend, headahces come and go and the pain (all over) is yucky and scary. I took some motrin and it’s starting to help.
I started the 2nd J*en Lans*caster book…hilarious..and I am doing some research on Mirena, Migraines and Fibro. I am convinced that this dumb IUD is the root of all evil (including this 20lbs that even WW couldn’t help me lose..I lost 1 lb in 8 weeks..um, ????) so I am trying to get up the courage to call my dr and swallow my “MISERY” and take it out.
Maybe I’ll get my life, libido and laughter back.
other than that, the boys are good, talking in sentences and counting to 10 in spanish…wow! It’s incredible to watch them grow like this.
Sending internet HUGS to all of you! <3
I’ll take the strongest drink you got! I have had a hell of a month with no end in sight. I am frustrated with the whole job search. I am stressed about bankruptcy and losing my house and lets not even mention the fact that babies keep getting further and further away…UGH! Make it a double!
What could be more relaxing than a nice Merlot?
*pregnancy news to follow* – Had an NST this morning and biophysical profile, frank conversation with the OB about possible scenarios that could unfold in the following weeks. I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant, with hypertension and proteinuria – two of the three classic signs of pre-eclampsia (no swelling…yet). They’re even going to arrange for us to visit the nearest NICU (an hour away) just so we can see it ahead of time… just in case… for now, just rest and monitoring. Sigh.
I’ll have a palermo – 2 parts fresca, one part tequila, thank you very much. Love them, but need to be careful cause too many may make me fall off the stool right here.
I bit the bullet and called Dr. HIT to start the process of ART all over again. Our consultation is July 9. I wish I felt okay with the idea of conceding that we’ll never get pregnant without doctor intervention. Of course even SAYING this makes me feel crappy because we did, in fact, get pregnant. And bring home a healthy baby.
So yeah. A bit of feeling like I’m in the middle or nowhere right now – still infertile, but lucky enough to even be a parent in the first place. Hard to balance all those emotions, and I’m just hoping that the anticipation is the worst part of the whole thing.
xxx
Funnily enough, I was sitting between opposite ends of the spectrum on our girls’ night out on Saturday. To my right was “I have no problems getting pregnant” girl. To my left was “we’ve been trying for a year, and ended up with a positive test only to have a miscarriage.” Interesting night.
I’d like a vodka tonic with lots of lime today…because they just taste good. Life is pretty calm at the moment…must be a big storm coming. 🙂
I’ll take a martini with Belvedere because I keep hearing people talk about it and I’ve never tried it. Or an appletini or whatever it is called…one of each maybe? Hell, I’m not cycling. Let’s get drunk since I don’t drink in real life hardly.
Waiting for BigP to get back so we can cycle. He won’t be back until the end of this month. In the meantime I keep spotting off and on while on birth control. My body hates me.
I think it’s best to just give me a vodka tonic with cranberry juice and then just keep them coming. Don’t even wait until my glass is empty. I’m a good tipper.
So, first go at fertility drugs resulted in a BFN, but I am trying my best to just “let go.” Yeah go ahead and roll your eyes because I am too. But have decided for my sanity and for my marriage that it’s time to relax. It’s my husband’s fault.
I could use a big Zinfandel! I am dealing with two sick babies, as both the little one and the Hubby are sick. And I have started back to work a couple days a week. At least when I am at work, I get a break from the sick boys at home!
I’ll have a Sangria, Mel, while I sit here in frustration, depressed that our June cycle has likely been pushed at least 1-2 months because we’ve had the financial rug pulled out from under us. Nothing like facing your last chance IVF and then have someone say, sorry, you’re gonna have to wait some more.
I think I need another round, please.
You know me, food is my drug of choice, so pass along some of that Smith Island Cake that I know is hidden under the bar.
I may have to kill my MIL. At minimum, I think that I am going to have to construct a billboard outside her home that reads, “I am buying whatever stroller/Pack n Play/etc. I want, Beeyotch!”
Or I could go for something a little less subtle…
Ah, just in time! I’ll have a Jack & Coke, hold the Jack (but leave the bottle just in case). I’m holding it together in anticipation of my viability scan tomorrow. Since I’ve yet to have a good experience at these (this will be my fourth in two years), it’s hard to muster any positive thoughts, but I am managing to banish negative ones.
A tequila sunrise….or two, please.
My endo is back, I’m stuck in the house in a lot of pain, and it all just sucks. I have one doctor telling me I should lose an ovary and another who’s totally against it. I’m having nightmares about my endo and pain messing up any future attempts at adoption or fostering.
Bellying up to the bar and I will take a glass of pinot noir please. I may be indulging in a glass or two a bit more frequently over the next few months. We are approaching a crossroads. I am currently waiting for AF to not rear her ugly face; she is due Friday. Then one more cycle of Femara, Ovidrel, and timed intercourse. After that, we will take a break. Seven months of medicated cycles and we’ve hit our financial limit for a little while. This is our 26th cycle TTC #1, and I am exhausted emotionally and financially.
I am torn because with my elevated FSH I am afraid to take any time off, but we simply need a break
Oh, how I’ve missed the Lushary! I’ll have a gin and tonic, please cause it’s hot, hot, hot here!
I just got back into being actively involved with the IF support group I started a while back. It’s going quite well but I have trouble just focusing on the present – I keep having all these grand ideas but don’t have time or energy to implement them all just now. It’s a weird thing to have found something I really love and am good at and would love to be able to somehow make a living at or at least dedicate a significant amount of time towards, but it’s a volunteer thing and something I try to squeeze in to the rest of my busy life. I feel like I need a life coach to tell me how to organize my time so I can fit in everything that’s important to me.
I would love an ice cold Miller Chill! A lime to go with it would be nice too! (sorry to be picky!) 🙂 Is there dancing at this bar of yours? I could use a good old dance fest or karaoke!
Right now, I am in the 2ww after my our 2nd IUI. Hopefully, this will be the time! I have said that for what seems like ages though. I have kind of been a grumpy pants lately (that was actually the title of my last post) due to waiting to find out. Wouldn’t it be so nice if the first pregnancy symptom was the day after conception – waking up one morning to a red dot in the middle of your forehead? That way, you wouldn’t be confused about a faint line, or no line, or false pregnancy symptoms! Is that too much for a girl to ask! 😉 I am doing my best to stay positive….this virtual drink has helped tonight!
So, if you need to find me in this 2ww I will be enjoying virtual Miller Chills on the dance floor! 🙂 Cheers!
I’d love some coffee with Baileys and Kahlua, thanks! Today was pretty good until I realized it’s going to rain for the next 3 days and so there wasn’t going to be a better day to run errands which need to be run before an event on Wednesday. Since then I tried to back out into someone walking in the grocery store parking lot, soaked the bottom six inches of my jeans, and managed to drop paperwork face down onto the puddles in the garage. All of this frustration resulted in screaming at my cat to get of the kitchen counter – which he completely ignored. And thus making me question my suitability to be a parent. Is it bed time yet?
Sorry, I am posting this again b/c I didn’t know how to delete the first one and I put the wrong link for my blog!
I would love an ice cold Miller Chill! A lime to go with it would be nice too! (sorry to be picky!) 🙂 Is there dancing at this bar of yours? I could use a good old dance fest or karaoke!
Right now, I am in the 2ww after our 2nd IUI. Hopefully, this will be the time! I have said that for what seems like ages though. I have kind of been a grumpy pants lately (that was actually the title of my last post) due to waiting to find out. Wouldn’t it be so nice if the first pregnancy symptom was the day after conception – waking up one morning to a red dot in the middle of your forehead? That way, you wouldn’t be confused about a faint line, or no line, or false pregnancy symptoms! Is that too much for a girl to ask! 😉 I am doing my best to stay positive….this virtual drink has helped tonight!
So, if you need to find me in this 2ww I will be enjoying virtual Miller Chills on the dance floor! 🙂 Cheers!
Mmmm… alcohol. Let’s go with a mudslide, cause I love the chocolate. My son had his speech evaluation and it was determined to get him ST since he’s still testing a good bit below where he should be. I spent Sunday feeling yucky and am fairly certain that the girl did as well since she spent ALL day nursing. I still feel kinda yucky but as I need to make it through work this week, I have to kind of ignore that. And I really wish that my husband could find a new job or that the disability insurance would come through cause we really need some money.
Bring on the bubbly! I’m getting ready to pack up my bags, and head out to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore for my son’s visit with nine zillion specialists. It hasn’t been easy in our corner with Braden’s diagnosis, but I have so many of you to thank for keeping our spirits up and allowing us to believe we can make it through in one piece. The highlight of the trip is seeing TOOTPU girls though! 🙂 Can’t wait to meet you Mel and friends!
It is nice and toasty down here in the South! I need a good Gin and Tonic with LOTS of lime to cool me off! Actually, could you just park the bottles and a tub of ice in front of me? It has been a HECK of a week and I could use a good obliteration!
After knowing for almost a year and a half that my husband had no sperm in what we thought was retrograde ejac….he finally got the courage up for his MESA. Now we know he is sterile, and his world has tilted.
I have been super strong from him (thanks to all my girls from here!!!), as I was prepared for it. I know this isn’t the end of our quest to start a family.
I just need a little downtime to not be so strong…I need to get plastered- even if it is virturally.
I honesty can’t remember the last time I had a real drink, so just give me whatever is most popular. 😉
I’ve had a pretty topsy turvy month with both DH & DS#2 in hospital at one point or another. DH is now doing his home hemodialysis & that’s been an experience to say the least.
But the thing that’s made the most domination impression on my life in the last 30 days, is the loss of 2 people to that bastard Cancer. My friend’s father & Max.
Please tell your loved ones daily how much they mean to you & how much you care about them. Life is way too short. 🙁
Oh, I missed the Lushary! And all of you ladies!
Umm, yeah, so a bottle of Martini with a pound of lemons for starters, please. If anyone else attempts to touch my bottle, please be prepared to lose a finger or two. Or have your head filled with my whinging about GD. Which is here to stay through the next three months. But I am more grateful to be in the position of having GD than not having it at all (as in no baby, no GD). And with dieting and monitoring, baby will be ok. I can go on and on. So, which fingers can you do without? I can disinfect the wounds with Martini… 😉
I’d love a water please, no ice 🙂
Just got initial results from IUI #3 and it’s positive… a low positive, so testing every other day for the next week or two! Fingers crossed and prayers abound please! 🙂
I will take a virgin bloody mary. I’m a diabetic and I don’t drink alcohol. Enjoy your time by the sea even if it is an imaginary sea…
I take myself to Heaven when I want to “get away”. That’s where the people and children I have loved and lost are.
Introing myself is hard.
I just celebrated the nearly 3 decades of losing my twin daughters. At the same time, 2 months before that, I celebrated (quietly this year) the 2nd birthday of my twin sons via traditional surrogacy.
I coulda celebrated the 2+ decades of my having been dx’d with renal cell cancer and the aftermath but chose not to. My children are medically fragile and I’ve been battling illness with them since Jan. It’s a brutal battle so I go to God when I need to “get away”. I turn to Guest and Co bloggers for support when I’m “gone” away from the blog.
The latest entry is funny and fun, thank God. The boys are on the road to health, once again, thanks to their medical team. So I’m starting to get back in the swing of things writing-wise.
I pray you get outta the funk. You are not only an inspiration to many of us, Mel but you are a voice for the infertile crowd. If you look back on all your accomplishments this year alone, I hope that it will lift you up.
I know that I am grateful you are here, and you are loud and proud. Everyone has tough times, you are blessed with legions of people who, like me, hope to lift you from the funk.
Tea, Earl Grey, Hot, Cream and Honey.
I friend since grade school with autoimmune issues is 18 weeks pregnant- and her kidneys have failed. She will need a transplant within months of delivery. And my best friend’s husband, who has been fighting brain cancer for 7 years, found out there are now two more tumors.
This has resulted in my mutual friends begging me not to try pregnancy again- bad luck comes in threes right?- and my own fears are at the forefront. I was supposed to cycle in June- and now I am starting to chicken out. The MFM tells me pregnancy should be good for me- but I could relapse postpartum. I don’t know what to do.
A rooisbos tea for me please – now that we found out we have swimmers I am back to being good and actually for the first time in our married lives ttc with hope!
Got another test in less than five weeks and from there we decide should we do IVF or keep going with the jabs in the hope of entering the land of IUI or maybe even pregnancy by sex! Feeling top of the world but scared to feel so happy.
Light Beer. Cold. In a bottle. And the rest of the 6-pack within arms reach.
We’ve decided all of our luck is going into other facets of our lives so we should just be thankful for that.
We got selected for a TV makeover show to get a brand new master bathroom remodel. FREE. Who’s that lucky!?!? Apparently we are.
So there are blessing to be counted instead of misfortune to dwell upon.
For June anyways…
I’ll take a glass of La Sera wine please and toast to my 40th birthday today!
I’m going to need some Sangria, not that box kind, but the full bodied red wine with the fruit in the glass kind, where you sip on the back porch in your lawn chair and just watch the stars come out and breathe. I am writing this from a hotel in Illinois because we are moving cross country because of my husbands job and I am TIRED. I was doing the math yesterday and figured that with waiting until CD 35 to take Provera and then 10 days on Provera, then 8-10 days waiting for AF each cycle will take up to 55 days…. and I have to do this for two more cycles…. how is this helping me get pregnant sooner? I am so frustrated and now I will have to explain this to a new doctor in a week or so. So I need my Sangria pretty please.
We just dropped our oldest son off at a mental institution for a week (or so) of intensive inpatient treatment. ‘Nuff said. I’ll take vodka, straight, tall glass, no ice. Thanks!
I’m not much of a drinker after the last month, I’ll take a beer!
I recently started TTC, had my 1st IUI on March 18th (was that only 2 months ago?) got a BFP then miscarried in week 8…worse than anything I could have imagined physically…I’m trying to remain positive, at least I got pregnant, right? Right now I’m waiting for AF so I can try again but find I am having doubtful moments & moments where I am terrified to try again because what if it happens again?
Thanks to everyone for sharing & hugs to all 🙂
I am actually craving some Irish Cream on the rocks….a sippy, relax drink. Well, for 3 weeks I’ve been on “crazy leave” from work. I go back one week from today. Right in time to start using FMLA time for our one and only IVF cycle. I alternate between bored, stir crazy, and terrified. I have done nothing productive, but have perfected the art of laziness. So, I sit here waiting for AF to rear her ugly head so I can start BCP…ahhhh, the irony. Thanks for the drink and company, all!
*pregnancy mentioned*
Strongbow Cider, from the tap please. Life has been slightly craptastic lately, but I am starting to turn the corner on the baby’s prognosis at least. After yesterday’s u/s (the first since my Dad died), I was able to see that Flea is still alive and kickin’… Thank g-d.
sprite & vodka, please!
it’s been a weird few weeks after making the super last minute decision not to leave AK and go to seattle, and i’m super bummed about my lack of a career here. so i’m moody. and i’m also feeling like a total imposter because even though i’ve been off bcp’s and semi-trying for about a year, we have only been married a month & a half (which most people don’t know cuz we just got fed up with stress & went to a courthouse & now planning a fake wedding)… and so I feel like I can’t tell anyone how much I want a baby NOW, and I feel like I shouldn’t be wanting kids sooooooo badly yet, and I feel like I’m not allowed here, and I feel like I have nothing worth blogging about, and I don’t have a job, and I just feel generally useless. blahhh…. maybe another sprite & vodka?
Dear God…. Please give me something strong enough that will keep me on this couch so I will not get up and kill* my co-worker, who basically chewed me out for being upset with her, then turned around and gave me some platitudes about everything working out and giving me a fake hug. Oh, and she understands how hard it is (you know, because she had 2 perfect children without even trying)… I really wanted to punch* her. But I kinda need my job.
*No plans to kill or punch anyone. Although pounding her in the head would be oh so fun!
I’ll take a virtual dirty vodka martini, thank you very much. Yum-o.
*pregnancy news*
I’ll just share my good news – as of today, I’m 11w4d pregnant! We conceived via IVF. I had my first real OB appointment today and baby is on track and healthy, so I finally feel comfortable sharing my news.
I don’t blog about IF, but I read so many of your blogs and please know that you guys have been a wonderful support group to get this far. Thank you!
Sigh, I need a big drink…something strong. I just found out that infertility has hit 2 out of 3 of us in my family. My sweet baby sister is dealing with it and I need to get her to talk to me about it.
It’s rather chilly where I am, so even though this is a summer/beachy theme, I think I’ll go for my favorite cold weather drink – hot chocolate with a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and whip cream, if you please.
I am moved by the candor and honesty of all the women who have commented before me, am taking in their blogs.
I am a new blogger here, and have just come through a thorny pain cycle, the death of a dear friend and cousin, and participating in a local election. So I’m feeling a bit like a wrung out dish rag on a roller coaster ride – something I think most of you can relate to. But I have also so appreciated the comments and support recently left on my blog and reading the stories shared here. Thank you so much for hosting this virtual get together.