Underwater Bar
A few weeks ago, Kristin wrote about this underwater restaurant in the Maldives on her blog. We’re obviously in a fishy sort of place right now, spending a lot of time this summer at the aquarium. There is something about the quiet of sitting underwater that is appealing to me right now.
My friend posted this video on Facebook and since watching it, I can’t get it out of my head. I’m not sure why it got so deeply under my skin.
It’s terrifying to watch someone falling into that darkness, even if it is only camera tricks and artistic license. It is beyond beautiful to watch a person take that sort of plunge.
Can we pretend the bar is underwater right now? That sting rays are floating past the windows and starfish have glommed onto the glass?
As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
48 comments
Hi, I’m Jem and my cocktail will need to be virgin, as I’m mid-cycle. I’m very much a land person, but some of my most magical moments on this planet have been in the water, specifically in the warm waters of Bali where I learned to scuba dive. There I saw such amazing wild-life from corals to parrot fish to sharks and barracuda. I didn’t want to come back up. I finally understood the whole fascination with mermaids. Thanks for bringing back all those memories for me.
P.S. Sometimes this whole IF experience feels like diving into a big black hole.
Right now, I have so many friends in the middle of cycles or sitting with uncertain results that I think I’m sending more pregnancy vibes out into the universe than I ever have even for myself.
And then a friend had a family trauma that has my heart aching for the world.
I wish I had a remote, so that I could pause time when I wanted or needed to, and just sit with my loved ones (who wouldn’t be paused, obviously, just not aging, or having to deal with the mundanity of the world).
All that having been said, I think I’ll stick to a shirley temple. 😉
I’ll take a box of Godiva and a Capt and Dew.
Cause it’s just that kind of day.
Maybe a redbull and vodka, b/c I feel I need a drink, but “wings” to get me through this week. As for underwater.. love it! I’m right there w/ you!
I was craving a fruity wine cooler earlier this week so please pass me one of those over ice when you get a chance; it just doesn’t seem like Summer without those and frozen margaritas.
And thanks for providing a way to enjoy the water without having to figure out the logistics of a maternity bathing suit (I swear I’ve had more angst over finding one I like than any other maternity garment!).
I’d like a glass of celebratory champagne, please. I got past the biggest approval hurdle with the RE and am almost 95% sure that I’m matched for my next surrogacy journey.
well im craving a beer and being two days shy of transfer, i wont have one IRL so lay it on me!
i am so very confused about FET. IVF i have down. we have done two IVF cycles so far. the first brought us our twins, who i was lucky enough to carry for 5 months. the second was a bust.
we go in on (barring any thawing issues) for our first FET. our embies will be thawed tomorrow morning and are special to us as they were created in our first IVF and we feel that is just about as close as we will get to our daughters on this earth.
im so confused about thawing. i remember someone along the way (an embryologist?) told me that when they thaw they can be reverted to as little as two cells and need to divide again. i was under the impression that they were frozen in time, so to speak and would still be an 8 or a 6 cell.
*shrug* who else spends this much time obsessing over cells!?
and cheers, girls! as ever, the water is my favorite place to be and to relax so a swim up bar=heaven!
I’m off alcohol after the weekend that I had, so something long, cool and refreshing for me!
I had a trip to London with some people that I work with this past weekend, and it was a personal challenge to go. I did it and I enjoyed it. But I also realised just how I’ve changed… I have an absolute need to be in control!
But I’m celebrating – I went away for the weekend without M!!!
Am I the only one who held their breath while watching that video? My co-workers are probably wondering why they can hear panting coming from my office…
Anyway, thanks Mel. I could go for a Vodka Collins right about now. Yes I know it’s only noon here in CA, but it sounds so refreshing!
Not a whole lot going on with me yet- I should have more to say in January though. I just ‘came out’ in the bloggy world about the fact that after SIX failed dIUI’s, my husbahnd and I are going to try to do IVF next year – hopefully with his sperm. (Mastercard is going LOVE us!) We’re excited and only slighty terrified. But everytime it gets a little scary I remember that I have this AMAZING community to fall back on with any and every question that might pop into my head…
Oh and LOVE the underwater bar!
Mel, you have this uncanny instinct about opening the Lushary just when I’m most in need of a drink & some friendly conversation. : ) I’ll have a frozen margarita (in fact, bring me a pitcher, lol). I feel like my life is on warp speed at the moment & I’d just like to stay home with my head under the covers. The G-20 is meeting in Toronto this week & both the train station & my office are just a few blocks away from Ground Zero. So far, so good today, and I am “working from home” on Thursday & Friday, but my dh still has to come downtown on those days, & I’m worried that protest activity & security clampdowns will escalate as the week wear on.
My sister & I are in the thick of plans for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary party. 168 people are invited to a hall that holds 110 comfortably. So far, we have 64 yeses & 15 nos. RSVP deadline is this week.
Meanwhile, my own 25th wedding anniversary is fast approaching — but suffice to say, nobody is planning a party for US (I don’t even think dh’s brother, our best man, remembers), & I can’t even get dh to commit to a plan as to what we should do to celebrate, just the two of us. 🙁
Because it is summertime, I would like a nice cold BEER to enjoy at the pool while getting a tan! I am currently on a small IF break while we wait for test results so I guess I can indulge. We will regroup in July to figure out the next step.
http://doihavetobeadink.blogspot.com/
I would really like something fruity and cool… I’m 17 weeks now, and just finally starting to feel like some energy might be returning. I’ve been such a slug lately that I have lost touch with many in the community, hopefully ICLW will help me reconnect.
I’d love an imaginary cosmo. I’m not really drinking right now, so imaginary is great!
I’m on day 8 of stims in my first IVF cycle. Retrieval is on for Thursday! That’s pretty much all that’s going on with me!
I’ll take a frozen margarita, no salt, please. I’m supposed to be getting ready for my mother-in-law’s visit. She arrives tonight for 8 days. But, ugh! We get along great and the boys love it when she’s around but I hate house guests and how our whole routine will get thrown off. Plus today is the 4-year anniversary of my Grandpa’s passing and it sucks that he never got to meet my sons, his great-grandsons. So I’m a bit melancholy over that too.
I can’t swim so I think I’ll skip the video. *shivers*
13w3d pregnant with triplets, but since it’s imaginary, I’d love an appletini please! So happy to pregnant, so terrified about this pregnancy, but getting more and more used to it every day.
Also, it’s been a rough few weeks for some of my bloggy friends, and that makes it that much tougher all around. I’m hoping for some good news from some of my compadres in the very near future!
Oh, and I am a crazy water-loving person. Give me a lake or a pool or the ocean, and I’m in heaven!
Oh, that sweet boozy time again, when I can ‘drink’ whatever I like! UNDERWATER! Yeah!
We went out with friends last night at a Greek restaurant (yummy food indeed) and I smelled at the end some Metaxa – could I please have some of that? And some Belgian pralines, pretty please? Since it is virtual, I can have as many as I fancy without any blood sugar spiking. Take THAT, GD!
I am close to 33 weeks, something I am continuously amazed and grateful for. I am facing my first hormone-fuelled meltdown, brought on by my vicious MIL and I could bore you stiff with many a gruesome stories with her, but I realise that this is just trivial compared with real stuff, like IF, m/c, RPL… So I keep my mouth shut, both here and with my MIL.
I can’t wait to go read your latest posts, ladies. I have missed you all. And Mel – thank you. I have never felt so cared for, virtually speaking, never ever. You are truly wonderful!
Ooooh, I love the idea of an underwater bar. Right now I don’t have any major issues going on. Life is going well. So, I’d like to lift my glass in celebration with those who are in a celebratory mood and in prayers and sympathy with those who need that.
I’m drinking IRL and I’ll happily drink here. We’ve reached the end of our assisted conception journey and I’m facing up to the idea that it is most likely that I will never get to have a baby with my wonderful husband. I take consolation in the fact of my Little Guy but by God I would have liked to have a baby with this excellent man and stay together in the traditional Mum and Dad and Child family. I never had that as a child and now I’ll never have it for a child of mine. Ouch.
Pour me a Black Russian please.
I don’t care what you give me, just something that could take down an elephant, please. Don’t worry, I can handle it.
Today I’m remembering our baby Pearl, who’s due date was today while also gearing up to start stims tomorrow for IUI #11.
You’d think that after how horrific the ectopic was SOMEONE in my family might remember this awful milestone, but instead they asked me to come help plan my sister-in-laws baby shower.
How ’bout that drink?
I haven’t had a real drink in like three years, so hook me up with something good.
Sea World in Orlando has the Underwater Grill. It is on one side of the shark tank and it is a fantastic experience. Plus, the food is awesome. We took my aunt there when she came to visit for her after-chemo trip. Also, the bar there is an aquarium, so tiny tropical fish swim underneath your drinks.
Loving the idea of an underwater bar as I sit in a hot, un-airconditioned room craving a drink. I’ll have a virtual double martini, but stick to water here in the furnace because I’m in the midst of a beta-mystery (hopefully without music of doom all cued and ready to play).
Um, I’ll have a TALL Long Island, please? I’m starting IVF in a few weeks, waiting for my period so I can start BCP. I’m SCARED. Really, really scared. I need a bartender moment!
ET tomorrow, so please pass me a hot sake to go along with the sushi I am dreaming about. Had to eat light tonight and I’m stalling until my doctor ordered enema. Will be up bright and early for a 7:45 am transfer!
I need a drink. A huge one. At this point I don’t even know what. Something that will knock me out.
Today we found out that our baby has no heartbeat at 11w3d. Something really strong is in order.
Hi! This is the first time I’ve joined in! I would please like a Double Stoli and Sprite. I’m in my 2WW after our 4th IUI and am not drinking these IRL. 🙂
I love water so I’m happy to be at an underwater bar with you ladies! My thoughts are with all of you!
I was just thinking about a Vodka Collins! I’ll second that!
I am in the land of confusion right now. After my last chemical pg, I decided to give up and get rid of all the baby stuff. So then, when we were going to do a garage sale last weekend, my daughter asks if she can buy a baby with the garage sale money. I said, “sure, what kind of doll were you thinking of?” She said “No mommy, I want a real baby.” When I told my husband this one, he mulled it over for a couple days, and then suggested that we return to the doctor to see if there was anything else we could do. He doesn’t want to quit without making every effort now, because his favorite girl really wants a sibling. So…July 8, I have a phone consultation with my doctor. WTF? I don’t know where this is going to go, and I hate not knowing what’s next. So, I guess I’ll just continue taking pictures of the home improvement projects and focusing on the things I can control. Maybe my 2 child dream will actually come true. Or maybe I’ll kill my husband in a hormone-induced rage, since he doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say about treatments. He’s been warned, though, so I’m not taking any responsibility if he makes me kill him. 🙂 More vodka, please…
I am all about sangria this summer. 🙂
I am in the midst of my first of two months of Depot Lupron. I was expecting the hot flashes and headaches, but not the muscle pain that I have been blessed with. Life is never dull! We are planning to do our final FET in September after a decade of IF.
Happy ICLW Mel!!! That is an awesome video. Kinda freaky.
Can I have some bourbon or whisky? Something to knock out this chest cold. Blah. I am in a holding pattern, and doing pretty good- so no need of assvice. Thank you for doing all you do!!
<3
When I was in Australia (years ago), I actually met a gorgeous boy who was a scuba instructor (convenient, since I was not certified). We spent a week on a boat in the middle of the ocean diving and eating nothing by fruit and rice. It was before I had any idea what my infertility struggle would be, or how hard the fear of never being a mother would hit me.
It was actually a pretty incredible week spent underwater.
I actually have great news to share at tonights open bar though! I just found out that a couple at my clinic purchased two rounds of cycle meds *just in case* and only needed one round. They are donating the entire second round, and I am getting them. So besides a few extras I have to get, almost all my cycle meds have already been paid for.
I am trying my best to think of the most amazing way to thank them, and would love any and all advice!
http://singleinfertilefemale.blogspot.com/2010/06/small-miracles.html
Love the idea of an underwater bar! We have done tonnes of scuba diving and a bar underwater seems perfect. I can almost see the little ‘nemo’s’ swimming by and looking curiously into my Rooibos Iced Tea with Pomegranite.
Yup not drinking either, waiting fro AF to arrive (or in the real dream not arrive, but I’m a realist) so we can start our first IVF. Actually maybe I should make it something that makes you sleep as I didn’t get much sleep last night.
I just bought your book, Mel, and am in the middle of reading it. (Awesome job on the book, by the way!) I have just started on my infertility journey having the IF diagnosis officially declared a couple of months ago, although I had already figured out that something was wrong months before then. The early tests haven’t found anything wrong with DH or myself, so that means it is “unexplained infertility” which is even more frustrating. If there was an explanation, maybe we could fix it, but now it just means more tests. Unfortunately, my insurance is not covering a single thing, either. So, your book is providing a lot of useful information as I “navigate the land of IF” while having the pleasure of watching friends and family members have babies and enter motherhood while leaving me behind. But, I have a good support system made up of friends and family members and they are wiling to let me vent my frustrations whenever I need, which is quite often. IF has really taught me who I can really depend on. So many people have been moved down a peg or two (or ten) on the friend list because they just can’t be there for me when I need them to be or they choose not to get involved in my IF struggles. But, those friends that have chosen to stick with me have been wonderful and I know that I couldn’t go through this without them.
Anyway, thanks for your blog and your book. I’m sad that other people have to deal with IF, but I’m glad that I’m not alone in the IF world, either.
I’ll take a Cap & OJ, please, lots of ice, since it’s like a thousand degrees and thousand percent humidity where I live.
Having once made peace with my infertility, and adopting the most gorgeous baby boy ever born, I find myself surprisingly sad that I’m not pregnant today.
I realize nothing cures IF…but maybe an imaginary drink in a cool underwater place might put me back on the right path…
Sitting under water sounds perfect. Just staring at all the beautiful creatures and beautiful blue water. Throw in a little white sand beach and I may never leave.
I am planning to start drinking very soon but I said that 4 weeks ago. I am heading to US #4 in 4 weeks tomorrow to see if my Gimpy little one is still alive.
US#1, 6 weeks, blighted ovum most likely
US #2, 7 weeks, no blighted ovum, fetal parts but no heartbeat
US #3, 8 weeks, heartbeat but very low at 75 and measuring 2 weeks behind
Well I am almost 38 weeks pregnant with my long awaited baby! Underwater sounds good to me-Hope nobody minds if I wear my bikini! Doctor appt today shows that baby does not have any plans to exit anytime soon-ok by me, i’ve had an easy pregnancy, just waiting to meet this little one.
I am feeling sad that this pregnancy is almost over and i feel like I havent enjoyed it the way I always hoped I would. Part of it was my anxiety in the beginning but mostly it’s because my father is so ill, he was diagnosed with brain cancer in february, had surgery but the tumor came back and since then he has been ill. Another surgery was supposed to be scheduled, but he is so weak at this point I don’t know if they’ll get the chance to try another surgery. It’s been very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy like I had hoped I would while watching my father get sicker and sicker.
This time I’ll just have a lemonade-but i’ll be back after the baby is born, someone was telling about a sweet tea vodka that I’ve been dying to try!
Oh thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I’ll have something cool and refreshing please. Anything light on the palate will do. Something that obliviates.
Like Devon above, I haven’t felt like I have been able to enjoy this pregnancy much. When I think things are finally figured out, Mother Universe comes along and slaps me upside the head and tells me I am oh-so-incorrect in my presumption of finally “getting it”. Right now, I wish I was nine months gone and holding my child so I can get off this part of the rollercoaster.
Seems I should blog this… will do when I have a moment tonight (in about 8 hours!).
I hate water. Well, I take that back. I love drinking water. But ocean water, deep dark water terrifies me. Yikes.
Finding Nemo scared me.
And I’ll take a diet coke. I quit, but since it’s a virtual bar, why not.
Wow – I want to go eat at that restaurant! Wonder how much that’ll set us back? I’ll belly up for a vacation-substitute Mai Tai. We’ve had to scrap vacation plans for July because I’m so slammed at work. Sucks. My baby shower is in a couple of weeks and apparently when you’re adopting and have a baby shower everyone thinks you have a match. We don’t. My aunts wanted to come out from MA for it so this ended up being a good time since they both have jobs during the school year. So, I’ve now fielded a handful of “I’m so excited for you guys, is it a girl or a boy?!?!” type messages. *sigh* I feel a little bad and a little like a fraud when I reveal that there’s no match and no new news…Crap. On second though, I’ll take a Mai Tai and a Pina Colada to chase it down.
A glass of red for me, please. But I can’t because I am filled with methotrexate from my Ectopic. But alas, we are discontinuing treatments (at least for now) to pursue adoption, so hopefully I can really belly up to the bar soon.
I’ll have a can of ice cold beer, of any variety. I’m Katie and we got our first BFP last month, I miscarried shortly thereafter unfortunately. The good news was that we were able to start an injectibles/IUI cycle pretty much right after but now its looking to be a lost cause cycle as my lining, my mortal enemy, is simply not thickening at all. 🙁 Anyone have any ideas for thickening lining – I’m currently on estrogen supplements and have been doing acupuncture throughout.
I’ll have a Sam Summer, draught please. Make it the 24 oz. What we thought was solid is now all back on the table… we thought for sure adoption, but given our financial situation, DE/IVF is actually cheaper (assuming it works on the first shot). I thought I had totally made peace with not pursuing treatment, but when it comes to the bottom line, we’re forced to re-evaluate things. We put in an offer to a lovely home today, and the owners basically gave us the legal version of laughing in our faces. We’re giving it until Monday before be potentially resubmit a slightly higher offer, but we’re ready to walk away. Again, a house we were SO sure we’d go all out for, and now we’re ready to walk away and start the house hunt all over again. I had a few brief moments of stability for maybe… 72 hours? Now it’s all back up in the air. And in the middle of all of this: my niece will be born this weekend. Trying to store up my emotional reserves for this- first grandchild, conceived shortly after I was diagnosed… it’s a lot. I think a lot of the emotions I’ve been burying for these 9 months will be coming out in force.
Looks like I’ve finished the Sam Summer. I think I’ll have a Killian’s. Yeah- same size.
I would love a nice summery cocktail like a pina colada with an umbrella, please.
Thank you for all that you do to support us. I found your blog when I was in the dregs of depression and pain. Finding others in the same boat helped so much as no one I know could understand what it’s like to live with a deformed uterus.
As for me, I am happy to report that as of right now I have found a hell of a lot of joy. No baby, no guy, and no money, but I have found some damn good glue to mend my tattered heart. For now, that’s more than enough.
I’m going to buy Pundelina a round or two and cry with her in the corner somewhere. It’s been a crap week for a lot of folks. Bring out that nice bottle of whiskey and leave it for us, if you will. I just had my clinic bounce my medical records request (sent 14 days ago that they are legally obligated to fulfill in 14 days) for filling in a date incorrectly, so I will have to wait another two weeks to get my hands on my tests and make plans for a new RE. My head is rolling with questions about whether to try IVF at my clinic or take the show on the road, and whether to visit Chicago’s RPL clinic before doing anything else.
I’ll have my usual margarita. Sadly the virtual kind is about all I’m able to do at this point. I think they said no alcohol for 6 months after surgery and then to be careful for sugar content and that I will likely become a very cheap date.
I just have so much bouncing around my head right now with the big ol 40th birthday now done and wondering what’s next in my life.
I would like to place my order for a freshly squeezed lemon juice with a twist of lime. I don’t drink alcohol even when I’m not pregnant, but I’m still tons of fun LOL! Whats up with me… well I am 21w4d pregnant, I still shiver when I read that. Amazing so amazing. All is good other than swollen feet and ankles. Its hot as hell in Cairo but this pregnancy thus far has been awesome! I am toying with the idea of delivering in the US in October. I plan to blog about this soon. I am so imagining sitting at this underwater bar Lolli, i really need to cool off! Happy June iclw.
I am always late….why is that??
Diet Coke…or wait virtual..I can drink.
A Watermelon Martini ….sounds like summer.
I am doing better than last week. The mirena is out. The Paxil is winding down, I start a new drug on Sat morning. I am taking deep breaths, trying not to yell so much and laughing a LOT at all the silly conversations that we have been having with the boys. They answer questions, they can talk back to your thoughts, they giggle when you say something funny, they mimic the stuff you say that they shouldn’t hear.
I am busy at work, I am glad summer is here, I am slowly cleaning our house , refreshing it, I am reading and laughing and trying to feel good one day to the next.
and I’m happy to be sitting here, sippin some Summer with my good friends. 🙂
I love the idea of a virtual lushery! And an underwater bar nonetheless, awesome. Mimosas are my drink of choice, served up out by the pool on a warm day. Thank You!
Whats new with me? I am getting ready to debut my new blog design, which I am SO SO SO excited about. I painted my nails ‘red hot’ tonight. I went to my first resolve meeting on Sunday and it was GREAT, totally worth the 4 hr round trip drive. I’ve been working a ton and haven’t had much time on the computer the past few days.
And more importantly, whats new with us? We are on a ‘break’ of sorts while my husband does fhs injections 3x a week to try and overcome the azoospermia late stage m.aturation arrest to create enough sperm for ISCI. Our next SA will be the end of July. In the meantime I am secretly hoping that the FSH is creating ooddles of sperm and that I’ll turn up pregnant unexpectedly before then. Dream with me?
-Foxy
http://foxypopcorn.blogspot.com
Virtually, I’d love to consume a Fat Tire (lovely microbrew from Colorado – New Belgium Brewery) or two.
On day 38 of current untreated cycle with nothing to show but absolutely petrified to do a pregnancy test because I don’t want to be disappointed.
I was a few months late to the last Lushery, and can’t believe that I almost missed this one. I LOVE this idea. Love It!
a mimosa served up out by the pool would be delightful. (Oh how I wish everyday could start with a mimosa!)
What’s going on with me? I went to my first resolve meeting and it was amazing, I painted my fingernails red hot, my therapist today told me that I seem to be very grounded these past few weeks (she’s right), and I ate homemade chocolate chip cookies with my uncle tonight.
What’s going on with us? We are in month 3 of a 6 month FSH regime for my lover. The 3x weekly injections have become a part of our routine, and it feels like a much needed break to regroup and come to terms with our next steps. So far so good.
BTW – I love this community and feel so grateful to be here at this Virtual Lushery with so many incredible spirits.