Posts from — April 2012

Okay, last thoughts on food.  I am seriously fascinated by the various ways we think about the things we put in our mouths.

That just sounded dirty.

Lori raised a good point: what is the definitely of a foodie?  Is it only the food consumer, or is it also the food preparer?  Can you be a foodie if you like to prepare food, but you don’t like to eat it?  Obviously, you could be a foodie if you consumed food but never prepared it.  But could you call a chef who doesn’t take great pleasure in consuming food a “foodie?”

I guess I’ve always seen the word as solely a term for the consumer of food and not the preparer.  My view point is obviously skewed because I make a lot of food I don’t consume.  First and foremost, I cook meat and I’ve never tasted it.  I judge its doneness based on temperature and look.  So far, unless everyone is lying to me and just enduring my cooking, it’s working well.  I guess how things taste based on smell, and I create new recipes for meat accordingly by pairing together ingredients that just smell “right” with one another.  Or I follow another person’s recipe.  Ina Garten hasn’t steered me wrong.

I also love baking and candy-making; both activities bring me great pleasure.  But I often don’t eat what I make.  I gave up sugar a few months ago so I didn’t, for instance, consume anything that I made for Purim.  They seemed to bring other people great oral pleasure (unless, of course, they’re lying to me), but I had no desire to taste any of it.  I see the act of preparation as very separate from the act of consumption, though I know this isn’t the case for other people.  I enjoy cooking, I enjoy baking, I enjoy making up new recipes and I enjoy giving food to other people; but I don’t always enjoy consuming the products that I just enjoyed preparing.  I make them because their preparation makes me happy and giving them away seems to make other people happy.  And I totally get that it brings someone else happiness, but consuming these things would not make me happy.

I would never describe myself as a foodie, because I see a foodie as a willing, open-minded receiver.  And while I’m a willing, open-minded giver, I am absolutely not a willing, open-minded receiver of even my own preparations.

What do you think?  Is foodie only the consumer or does it also apply to the preparer when the two are mutually exclusive?

*******

A few years ago, I wrote an eleven-part series on getting a book published. (You need to unfortunately read it from the bottom up since the top post is the eleventh or final post.)  A bunch of people told me that it was helpful, and I’m obviously still open to answering any questions as you try to get a book published.  But book publishing is a pretty small part of getting an MFA.  The much larger focus is on becoming a better writer, and part of that is trying your hand at various exercises.  I think there is a lot of common, usable good that can come from an MFA program especially in regards to blog writing and building a blog, but it’s a pretty inaccessible degree.  Unless you get a fellowship, it’s an expensive degree in the sense that it isn’t easy to make back the money spent.  And not many writers have the time to commit to finishing a writing degree.

So I’m offering it for free.  The contents of my brain and seven straight years of workshop.  Oh, and the experience I’ve had as an editor of two literary magazines, writing professor, two books, and a handful of published poems.  I’m not the only one for the job — there are far better writers on the Internet and I’ll be yanking them in here from time to time — but I am the one who is offering up all this content and all my connections for free.  And hey, free is good.

I’m calling it MFA Sunday School because I’ll post on most Sunday mornings.  If you don’t want to follow along, skip that first post on Sundays (since I have a tendency to also write my own thoughts about life on Sundays as a warm up for other writing).   If you do want to follow along from home, you can either read the post on Sundays or read the post at your leisure.  Collect them up in your Google Reader and do the exercises in your spare time.  The comment section of the posts will be for people to post a link to their own work (due to length, I’m going to ask people to post on their own blogs and then just leave a link that people can follow back to your space.  Unless you don’t have a space on the Web, and then feel free to post the whole piece of writing) and they will be open indefinitely.

MFA Sunday School will cover the basics of poetry — free form and fixed form.  The basics of short story writing.  How to dissect fiction and then use what you learn to enhance your own work.  How to develop a novel.  How to write creative non-fiction.  How to look at your own work with a critical eye.  How to submit to literary magazines.  How to pitch to editors.  How to form a relationship with a writing partner and look at each other’s work with a critical eye.  Critique of query letters.  And any other topics you’d like to know about that are usually covered in an MFA program.

This Sunday, I can post a formal opening to the project and take votes on topics.  That post would be the one where I’d ask everyone who plans to participate to introduce themselves so people could find writing partners via the comment section.

BUT I would like to know now if this sounds interesting to you, if you think you’d want to drop in and out depending on whether or not the topic of the week resonates with you (see, another good part about a free online MFA course — you don’t have any required credits to complete).  If this idea doesn’t resonate with you, there is no need to write these posts.  I already have the information in my brain.  But I like connecting with people who like to write, who want to write better, who want to understanding the process of writing, who like words and want to play with them.  So if you’re game, let me know and we can get started this Sunday.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Pain Olympics” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Being Counted” (Stirrup Queens) – thank you, Lori!
• “The Little Fertility Clinic that Could and Almost Didn’t” (The Infertility Voice)
• “Biting the Hand that Feeds Me” (Project Progeny)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings has a fun post that made me think about how feelings towards characters change over time (and while all of you are not characters, I think the same can apply for bloggers themselves).  She admits that while she didn’t like Ginny Weasley that much at first, the character grew on her over the course of the Harry Potter series and later became her favourite.  I tried to think of places where this has happened.  Can you think of any?  Go over and let her know — it’s fun to consider.

The latest post in the Faces of ALI series on Too Many Fish to Fry is a moving portrayal of one of my favourite bloggers.  It is exactly the type of story we wish the media would cover.  I love how Loribeth isn’t presented as solely an infertile woman — she is so much more than her uterus.  She is a historian, a memory keeper, a family member.  I cried when Loribeth called her mother after Katie’s death as well as the realizations she had holding her daughter.  It’s a gorgeous post — well-written and important to read if you want to understand how infertility affects a life.

My Life in a Nut Shell has a post about not feeling like herself.  She is currently pregnant again and holding her breath after prior losses.  She writes, “I just wish that I could find myself again and have this pregnancy be something I’m experiencing rather than it being who I am.”  It’s a moving post about losing who you are and hoping you can find yourself again.

Nuts in May has a great post about different ways of handling emotions, utilizing the term sidler to great success.  It is a look into the marriage of a compartmentalizer and a dealer (one who likes to deal directly with the issue), and what happens when the two attempt to communicate.  She sums it up perfectly here: “It’s all very well saying I can vent on the internet and get all those lovely supportive comments to make me feel better. You, Gentle Readers, do make me feel better. But you’re not very cuddly, and your neck doesn’t smell faintly of sandalwood and citrus, and you don’t make me tea.  And anyway, I like the feeling that the inside of my head is of some interest to my spouse. It’s not a feeling I’ve had for a good while. And I like the feeling that care and consideration of the spouse’s state of mind is reciprocal, not a one-way street.”  Go read the whole thing.

Lastly, Destined to be an Old Woman with No Regrets has lessons learned from an argument with her toddler, with ideas that apply to so many interactions in life.  I’m going to make you go over to read the whole situation, but I love the point she makes at the end: “At first my reaction was, ‘Ha! I won’. But that really wasn’t it at all. In the end, we both won, simply because we listened to each other. She got to make a choice and I got to set the parameters that would ensure not only that she was safe, but that I made it home in one piece physically and emotionally.”  Great lesson.

The roundup to the Roundup: What is the definition of a foodie?  Want to participate in MFA Sunday School?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 6th and April 13th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

There’s a great scene in the Handmaid’s Tale that I always paraded out for my students where Aunt Lydia talks about the concept of freedom from and freedom to.  As a society, Americans obviously put a high value on “freedom to” ideas — freedom to say what we want to say, freedom to choose our leader.  But Lydia reminds the women that there is also value in the freedom froms.  Freedom from being raped, freedom from being… well… a lot of the other freedom froms that I’m coming up with are covertly practiced in Gilead so forget examples.

But the point is that we put a lot of value on the idea of trying new foods; that much is clear from the comments on the last few posts.  And I guess there is a little Aunt Lydia in me because I also see the value in the freedom from being asked to eat foods.

When it comes to restrictions, I would much rather have someone tell me that I could never eat something I love again (take away my freedom to eat) than tell me that I have to eat something I don’t want to eat just for the sake of saving someone’s feelings or for their idea of nutrition (freedom from having to eat things).  I am obviously very focused on social behaviour and how I comport myself, but I also like to surround myself with people who are open-minded and accepting.  I’m lucky that all the people I interact with on an on-going basis are accepting of my food quirks and don’t get offended by my lack of desire to eat something.  Because I’d really rather have someone take away every food I enjoy eating rather than ever having to put in my mouth something that I can’t wrap my mind around trying.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you can never eat your favourite food again (for me, it would be cucumber.  Goodbye cucumber) or would you rather have someone tell you that you have to eat your least favourite food every day (for the love, you know the person would choose fried grasshoppers for me)?

I think the most interesting part of this whole food discussion is whether you consider food to be fuel or art.  People who call themselves foodies obviously fall on one side of the line: they appreciate the taste of food and view the preparation of it as an art form.  One person likened picky eaters to people who only look at one painter’s work; you can’t understand the scope of printmaking if you’re only looking at Warhol.

But.

The other side of it is people who view food as fuel, and then it doesn’t matter if you’re willing to try new things just so long as you are getting balanced nutrition.  Just as a car doesn’t need to test out every fuel at the gas station, some people simply know which foods help their body run well, they give their body those foods, and they move on to focusing on things that matter to them.

I am definitely not a foodie, and I’ve never had a desire to try certain things.  I know people who will travel to go to specific restaurants, whereas I travel and then pick a restaurant that works best with my self-limitations.  Or I travel with food: I often bring food with me on trips because I see it as fuel, something necessary to sustain life, and I’m not traveling to try out the foods.

Before you suck in your breath and tell me how I’m missing out on experiencing the culture, tell me this: do you learn the language of the country you’re visiting before you go?  See, I do.  We all experience other cultures in the way that is important to us.  For me, it’s words, so I delve into the new culture by learning the language as best I can before I go.  For you, it may be food, and you seek to eat the same way as the locals.  I just want to point out that there is more than one way to see the world.  And my way involves traveling with a jar of peanut butter but seeing really cool things that aren’t in the tour book because I’ve always talked with the locals.

So, back to art or fuel — the place where I stray from the obvious way I treat food is that I see chefs as artists.  I am lumping bakers and cooks and sous-chefs and the like all under the category of chef — I see people who work in food preparation as artists, especially when they are bringing their own creativity to the dish.  I am easily impressed when I go to someone’s house and see how they prepared food, and I’ve taken cooking classes before (most notably, I have a cake decorating degree… even though I don’t like cake either).  I like to make up my own recipes, though I don’t always want to eat what I make.  I like the act of preparing food, but I see that as separate from the act of consuming it.  Which isn’t to say that I don’t like food: I do.  I like what I like.

So which is food for you: fuel or art?

I am an incredibly picky eater, and I have been that way since birth.  My pediatrician told my mother that I would outgrow it one day, but I never did.  My pediatrician tried to tell me the same thing about the Wolvog once, but I just smiled at her and said that it was unlikely he would change and it didn’t really matter in the scope of things if he did.  As long as he has a well-balanced diet, I really don’t care what the range of it is.

And that’s sort of the crux of it: I am okay with being a picky eater.  Do I wish I were otherwise?  Sure, in the same way that I wish I loved roller coasters.  It’s a passive wish; not something I am doing anything about nor something I think about more than in passing from time to time — usually when someone admonishes me for being a non-roller-coaster-riding picky eater.  I know some of you are shaking your head at this, thinking how sad it is that I limit myself food-wise.  But I’m certainly not upset about it.  It’s not a point of pride any more than being right-handed is a point of pride: it’s just a fact of who I am.  I am a picky eater.

I am so picky that I don’t even eat my own cooking from time to time.  For instance, I made a bunch of vegetarian options for seder and ended up not wanting to eat any of them.  I know people (cough… like my mother) get annoyed with me when I’ve rejected food, but I REJECT MY OWN FOOD.  It is nothing personal; I am literally that picky that I won’t put something in my mouth if I’m not in the mood for that thing regardless of how hungry I am.

People always say that people will eat anything if they’re hungry enough and that is the way to retrain a picky eater, but I am living proof that it’s not true.  I am absolutely okay skipping meals — skipping multiple meals — skipping multiple meals over multiple days — rather than eating something I don’t want to eat.  It is a long standing joke with my friends that if I was ever in a situation such as the one in the movie Alive, and we crashed with a roasted chicken and potatoes and broccoli, the question wouldn’t be whether or not I’d eat my friends: I would choose death over eating the roasted chicken.  And I wouldn’t eat the potatoes or broccoli if they had been on the same plate as the meat.  Even if they weren’t touching.

Josh calls this my poor survival instincts.

Some days I think my inability to eat the roasted chicken is messed up.  And some days I think that perhaps I’m more evolved — that just as chimpanzees know to avoid the red berries, I instinctively avoid eating things that could clog my arteries or cause food poisoning.  Or something noble like that.

So.

I don’t eat meat: as in, I don’t eat any animal ever.  No steak, no chicken, no fish, no seafood.  I won’t eat foods that are made with parts of animals such as broth or gelatin.  I won’t eat food that was cooked with any of these things.  I will have eggs, though sometimes I go egg-free for a bit (eggs and anything crunchy such as chips come and go from my life.  I haven’t had a chip in many months.  Eggs usually only feel off-limits for short periods of time.  It’s a texture thing).  I will have skim milk, sour cream, yogurt, and ice cream — but only certain brands and not others.  I will have three kinds of cheese, but only if they’re melted and I don’t like to touch them with my hands: mozzarella, parmesan, and monterey jack.  Though I would prefer not to eat cheese at all.  I don’t like things that are fried.  I don’t like things that are goopy.  I prefer my fruits and vegetables uncooked, though there are certain vegetables I’ll eat cooked such as broccoli or green beans.  I prefer darker foods to lighter ones — totally happy with broccoli, not so much with cauliflower, green vegetables over orange ones, red grapes over green grapes.  I do not eat cottage cheese or mayonnaise (nor can I look at someone consuming these things).  And I usually like my food not touching.

People see being a picky eater as something they need to overcome or something to be embarrassed about.  Parents usually look at it as something to correct or circumvent or avoid.  But I don’t see being a picky eater that way at all.  The things I like, I like a lot and get to enjoy more often because my mouth doesn’t feel pulled in a multitude of directions.  When I go to a restaurant, I can order in seconds because there is usually only one or two options on the menu I’ll even consider.  I get to engage in creative problem solving whenever we have to eat out of the house.  And beyond that, I am more empathetic to other picky eaters such as the Wolvog.

Rather than feeling as if we need to fix something, I am totally cool with shrugging my shoulders and admitting without shame: I am a picky eater.

Picky eaters of the world unite?

Don’t you have foods you won’t eat?  Even if your list isn’t as extensive as mine?

Updated at the bottom

I’ve seen this pop up on Facebook and on blogs — a food list challenge of 100 foods that you “need to try before you die.”  And I need to pause for a moment and ask… why.  Why these foods?  I mean, sure, the listmaker thinks they’re great, but other than that fact, what makes these food trying-worthy?  And aren’t some of these things only fantastic based on the preparer?  I’ve had fantastic paella and I’ve craptastic paella.  And that’s sort of the problem with this food bucket list — it isn’t like the 100 books you need to read before you croak, in which the book will be the same for each person.  The fabulousness of the food on this list is entirely dependent on where you are eating it.

I personally have no interest of ever putting an animal in my mouth, so it probably won’t surprise you that according to this list, I will miss out on quite a few things in life.  But since I have had two of the first five, I thought I’d give it a shot.

1.  Abalone:  Not a chance

2.  Absinthe: Yes!  Back when it was still illegal.  A friend brought it back from the Czech Republic when he was over there lecturing for a semester.  It tasted disgusting and it burned — my stomach felt like it was on fire for a long time afterward.

3.  Alligator:  Not a chance

4.  Baba Ghanoush: Yes, though I don’t really like it.

5.  Bagel & Lox: Not a chance

6.  Baklava: I’ve had it many times, though I don’t like it (I have a feeling this will be a common refrain for this list)

7.  Barbeque Ribs: Not a chance

8.  Bellini: Sure – I had one post yoga a few weeks ago.

9.  Bird’s Nest Soup: Not a chance

10.  Biscuits & Gravy: If vegetarian gravy counts, then of course I’ve had biscuits and gravy.

11.  Black Pudding: Not a chance

12.  Black Truffle: Black truffle oil?  Yes.  I’m assuming this is close enough?

13.  Borscht: This is one of those things I could eat, and Josh wishes I would eat, but I won’t eat.

14.  Calamari: Not a chance

15.  Carp: Not a chance

16.  Caviar: Not a chance

17.  Cheese Fondue: I am absolutely horrified by the idea of cheese fondue.  I don’t even think I could stand to be near it much less put it in my mouth.

18.  Chicken & Waffles: Not a chance

19.  Chicken Tikka Masala: Not a chance

20.  Chile Relleno: Not a chance

22.  Churros: Yes, the best one I ever had was in Cordova, Spain, near the train station.  I’m not a churro fan, but that one was particularly good.

23.  Clam Chowder: Not a chance

24.  Cognac: Yes.

25.  Crab Cakes: Not a chance.  Which is so sad since I’m from Maryland.  I can shell a crab in minutes and have no problem de-meating them, but I have never put a piece in my mouth.

26.  Crickets: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  DOES THIS LISTMAKER WANT TO KILL ME?

27.  Currywurst: Not a chance

28.  Dandelion Wine: Haven’t ever had it offered to me.

29.  Dulce De Leche: Yes, I’ve had it straight as well as in things.  Don’t love it, but it’s fine.

30.  Durian: One of those things I could try, but why?

31.  Eel: Not a chance

32.  Eggs Benedict: Yes, I make a vegetarian version that is divine.

33.  Fish Tacos: Not a chance

34.  Foie Gras: Not a chance

35.  Fresh Spring Rolls: Love them.

36.  Fried Catfish: Not a chance

37.  Fried Green Tomatoes: Yes — many times in many places.

38.  Fried Plantain: Huge fan of the plantain.

39.  Frito Pie: I had to Google this one.  Horrifying!

40.  Frogs’ Legs: Not a chance

41. Fugu: Not a chance

42.  Funnel Cake: Yes, at fairs and such.  But not in many years.  I don’t like fried foods.

43.  Gazpacho: I am not a fan of cold soups.  And I think gazpacho sometimes tastes as if you are eating someone else’s cold vomit.

44.   Goat: Not a chance

45.  Goat’s milk: I could technically drink this, but I won’t.

46.  Goulash: Yes, I make a vegetarian version.

47.  Gumbo: I could make a vegetarian version so I could try it, but I won’t.

48.  Haggis: Not a chance

49.  Head Cheese: Not a chance

50.  Heirloom Tomatoes: Yes, dozens of times.

51.  Honeycomb: No – I’m not even sure where I would get one to consume.

52.  Hostess Fruit Pie: No – and I shudder thinking about anything made by Hostess.

53.   Huevos Rancheros: Yes, we eat this all the time.

54.   Jerk Chicken: Not a chance

55.   Kangaroo: Not a chance

56.   Key Lime Pie: I don’t eat pie.  I make pie, but I don’t eat pie.

57.   Kobe Beef: Not a chance

58.   Lassi: I would be willing to try this.

59.   Lobster: Not a chance

60.   Mimosa: Many times.

61.   MoonPie: I fear this is another one of those products made by Hostess or the like.

62.   Morel Mushrooms: I’m sure I have, though I can’t think when specifically.

63.   Nettle Tea: Have never been offered it.

64.   Octopus: Not a chance

65.   Oxtail Soup: Not a chance

66.   Paella: Yes, I make a great vegetarian version.

67.   Paneer: This is one of those things I could technically try… but I won’t.

68.   Pastrami on Rye: Not a chance

69.   Pavlova: I’ve had this because I’ve made this.

70.   Phaal: Not a fan of very spicy foods so I think I’ll skip this one.

71.  Philly Cheese Steak: Not a chance

72.   Pho: Yes, I love a vegetarian version.

73.   Pineapple & Cottage Cheese: Just these words make me shudder, so imagine the convulsions my body would go into if I had to encounter this food face-to-face.

74.   Pistachio Ice Cream: Yes, dozens of times.

75.   Po’Boy: Not a chance

76.   Pocky: No, but I always see it at the food store.

77.   Polenta: Yes, I have made some lovely polenta dishes in my life.

78.   Prickly Pear: Have never encountered it.

79.   Rabbit Stew: Not a chance

80.   Raw Oysters: Not a chance

81.   Root Beer Float: Dozens of times.  I love root beer.

82.   S’mores: I had a s’more before I realized that marshmallows contained gelatin.  And now that I know, when I see a marshmallow, all I see is sugar-covered animal collagen.

83.   Sauerkraut: Something I could try… but I won’t.

84.  Sea Urchin: Not a chance

85.  Shark: Not a chance

86.   Snail: Not a chance

87.  Snake: Not a chance

88.  Soft Shell Crab: Not a chance

89.   Som Tam: I’m not a fan of papaya, so there doesn’t seem a point in putting this in my mouth.

90.   Spaetzle: Yes, many know of the Great Spaetzle Incident which is still discussed in our household.

91.   Spam: Not a chance

92.   Squirrel: Not a chance.  Who would cook Simon Liverspot?

93.   Steak Tartare: Not a chance

94.   Sweet Potato Fries: Yes, I eat sweet potato fries from time to time.

95.   Sweetbreads: Not a chance

96.   Tom Yum: Yes, this soup was consumed on a very early date with Josh, and it promptly gave me food poisoning.  That is how I knew it was love — because he came over while I was still in a state of vomiting.

97.   Umeboshi: I’m just not a fan of plums of any sort.

98.   Venison: Not a chance

99.   Wasabi Peas: Another food I could eat, but I won’t.

100.   Zucchini Flowers: There’s a good chance I’ve had them, but I can’t think of what they taste like so I’m not claiming them.

So all in all, I have had 29 out of 100.  And enjoyed few of those 29.

How many have you tried?  And best story about trying it.

Updated:

It IS a very US-centric list. Biscuits and gravy are commonplace here — I’d be more shocked to find a brunch place that doesn’t serve it. Same with chicken and waffles.

I think the problem with a food list is also what is exotic to you isn’t exotic to others. And vice versa. I’m sure there are plenty of people who think hummus and malawach and tehina are exotic, but they’re totally commonplace items to me I would never put on a 100 foods to eat before you die list.

I think many people could probably do a decent job though of constructing a single list, therefore, throw out 5 items you believe people need to taste before they die and I’ll compile a new list that is a little more varied.

My contributions: setas al ajillo, falafel, root beer, chocolate pots de creme, and potatoes dauphinoise.  And feel free to knock any of mine from the list.  Three votes of removal I think means automatic kick-off.  I’ll move your choices up to the body of the list as soon as I can.

OUR FOOD CHALLENGE LIST OF FOODS TO EAT BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. Setas al ajillo
2. Falafel
3. Birch beer
4. Chocolate pots de creme
5. Potatoes dauphinoise
6. Gado gado
7. Chirimoya
8. Rambutan
9. Carambola (starfruit)
10. Guava
11. Persimmon
12. Mussels
13. Sushi
14. Quiche
15. Roasted garlic (in the husk)
16. Bruschetta with fresh summer tomatoes
17. Napoleon Cake
18. Sauerbraten
19. Flourless Chocolate Cake
20. Rhubarb Cherry Pie