Posts from — June 2015

Not a Wasted Word and I share a deep love of talking about decluttering.  I would say we share a deep love of decluttering, but the reality is that I schedule my declutters far more often than I do them.

A few weeks ago, she sent me a New York Times article celebrating clutter.  Not declutter.  Celebrating clutter.  The article points out how useless it is to stress about the accumulation of stuff because accumulating things (intangible and tangible) is part of the human experience.  Why should we get rid of the things that we once wanted or that remind us of happy times or which simply bring a spot of colour into the corner of the room?  Why should we get rid of books we’ve read or clothes we rarely wear?

The part that really resonated with me was this:

The stuff we accumulate works the same way our body weight does. Each of us has a set point to which we invariably return. Each of us has been allotted a certain tolerance, if not a need, for stuff; each of us is gaited to carry a certain amount of weight in possessions.

Some of us, rare breeds, tend toward the minimalist; some tip into a disorder of hoarding. Most of us live in the middle range. How marvelous it is to simply accept that, and celebrate it.

If this is true, it explains a lot.

I love minimalism, but I don’t think I really have a minimalist “body.”  Just as I’m more curvaceous in nature, my possessions bulge in places like my pear-shaped body: piles of books for my wide hips and stacks of paper for my big chest.  And a lack of knickknacks for my thin arms and no decorative touches for my thin legs.

I do have to declutter regardless of what this author says, but I am going to allow myself to keep whatever my heart wants.  After all, it’s mine.  And I love my stuff, too.

Sometimes when we’re driving, I get this feeling like I’m in one of those movie montages at the end of the film where you hear the maudlin, jangly guitar music welling up in the background, and you are reminded of the passing of time and enormity of life and the fact that we are all just food for worms.  And then the kids will ask one of their bizarre questions and it breaks the spell.  We go back to being just three plain people traveling on a small town road, going home.

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I love summer and I hate summer.  I am most melancholy during the summer months.

(Hence the poignant movie montage scenes playing out in my head where we see the parent smile wistfully at their child, a grimace that says, “yeah, the world is fucked up, but we’ll get through it” while the music from a band full of middle aged white males with shoulder-length hair and soul patches plays soft, repetitive guitar rifts that make you feel very very sleepy.)

I’m happy in the winter when everything looks bleak, and I feel like a telescope collapsing inward on itself in the summer when everything looks so sunny and green.

I think it’s because I feel the passing of time most acutely during this season.

My life has circled around the school calendar since I was four.  June is the end of the year and September is the start of the next year, and in between is this no-man’s-land that belongs to neither school year.  From June to September I think about how we’ve finished another year, and how the twins are that much closer to leaving for college.

(I told you that I’m melancholy!)

I really like this.  I like this age.  I like this whole childhood thing.  I don’t think I’ll ever be full of it.  But one day this stage of life will be over, and knowing that’s somewhere down the road makes me feel weepy.

It just goes so fast.

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Our school has this wonderful tradition called the Clap Out.  On the last day of school, the oldest children and their parents walk the halls one last time, and the other grades line the hallway and applaud them as they leave.  The twins have done this every year for the older grades, but it hit them this year that next year, they would be the ones being clapped out.

It’s like the end of Lucas, except instead of the slow clap conveying that the main character has finally come into his own and will now be respected and included the following year, this slow clap is like several hundred hands offering up exclamation points.  We won’t see you again!  You won’t be here next year!  Goodbye!

Whenever I get too overwhelmed thinking about that end point, I mentally go back to when they were preemies and I had no clue how I was going to make it through the witching hour when they’d both be howling, their heart monitors going off at the same time.

That Melissa would be stunned to see how everything has turned out.  That she didn’t mess things up too badly.  That she raised two really nice kids who are mostly polite and definitely smart and pretty funny, too.

It makes me think that one day I will look back at how overwhelmed I am in this time period and realize that everything I worried about turned out fine.

I think.

At least, I hope so.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Truman got a cold.  I was sitting down to a very stressful plate of work when I heard him sneeze several times.  I turned around and snot was coming out of his nose.  He politely wiped it away with his paw.

I decided to clean his cage before I started working.  Midway through cleaning the cage, he started wheezing.  He wasn’t wheezing so hard that he couldn’t go after a cookie I hid at the top of the stairs in his playpen.  But wheezing nonetheless.

I called the vet feeling a little foolish because… you know… it was a cold, right?  But the vet told me to bring him in.  When I got in there, I started sobbing because I was so scared that it was going to be like Cozy.  Out of context, I’m sure I looked like a lunatic, crying over the fact that my guinea pig was sneezing.  But… what if?

I went home with medication for his upper respiratory infection.  He’s totally himself personalitywise, just with a runny nose.

I said it with Cozy and I’ll say it again: “It doesn’t matter how small you are; you can still be deeply loved.”

Do you have a pet you fret over and love intensely?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

I’ve dubbed this summer the Summer of Mystery.  The twins and I are doing a mystery theme for the summer in regards to what we read.  We’re doing a few books together — The Westing Game and Sherlock Holmes stories — and then they went to the library and raided the mystery section to choose some independent reading books.  They’re writing mystery games.

I have put together a real, live mystery to solve, as in read the clues and figure out the message type mystery.  And they don’t want to do it.  Can you believe it?  I would do anything for someone to gift wrap a series of mysterious messages for me to solve throughout the summer.  I would do it for myself but… you know… that would mean that I already know the answer.

We’ll see if they come around.

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A few years ago, I started doing something brilliant.  (Please tell me this is brilliant.)  Every time I hear about a book I want to read, I go on iBooks and download the sample to my virtual bookcase.  Then, whenever I’m in the library, I can peruse my virtual bookcase and remember what I wanted to read.  Plus, if I’m ever somewhere with nothing to do, I can read the samples and decide whether or not the book actually holds my interest.

Once I read the book, I delete it from the virtual bookshelf.  I move all the books I really own in full down to the bottom of the bookcase so I can find them easily.

Isn’t that smart?  Please tell me I’m smart.

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My friend got me a Ninja for my birthday.  It’s sort of a blender, but it’s specifically for making icy drinks.  It turns ice cubes into snow in seconds.  Which means that you can make your own Frappuccinos or snow cones at home.

I have been consuming an obscene amount of liquid because of the Ninja.

I love my friend because she knows me so well.

I am totally bringing slushies to the pool this summer.  That’s my summer plan: books and slushies at the pool.

What’s your summer plan?

Side note: tomorrow is #MicroblogMonday.  Start writing your mini post.

I have transformed my book purchasing problem into a library problem.

In the old days, I bought more books than I had time to read.  I would buy a book, super excited to read it, and then before I could start it, I’d find another book I wanted so I bought that, too.  Maybe the second book seemed more time-sensitive, so I would start with that one and leave the first book in a to-read pile next to my bed.  Midway through the second book, I would purchase two more books and drop them in the pile.  So now there were three books in the to-read pile and another in my purse.

The pile grew unmanageable, so I would move some of the books to the bookcase, telling myself that this was a good thing.  When the zombie apocalypse started, and you all know that it’s one day going to be here, I would have plenty to read while we’re hunkered down in a windowless room.

The bookcases filled.

We were short of space, so a few years ago, I started to check out books from the library that I didn’t think I’d read a second time.  I reasoned that if I loved it, I could always go buy a copy.  But in the meantime, I would save myself bookcase space.

This is how the library thing usually goes down.  It may look a little familiar if you read the first half of this post.

I’ll go to the library and take out two books.  I’ll start reading one, reasoning that it’s a good thing that I have the other because once the first book is done, I’ll move onto the second book.  But in the meantime, even though I don’t need another book, I will go to the library and take out another book the next day.  I will add that book to my to-read library book pile, sometimes dropping the book I’m currently reading to read the new book because it’s a new release and I can only have it for a short period of time.

Now, you would think that someone who is currently holding three library books (not to mention owning thousands of books) would not need to go back to the library for a few weeks.  BUT I DO.  I go back.  Daily.  Most of the time, I check out another book.

I’ve realized that part of my enjoyment of books is the acquiring of books.  I don’t even need to permanently own them; checking them out from the library is enough to give me that high.

I have a book problem.

Thankfully it’s summer, which means reading by the pool.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Playing the Hitler Card” (NewStatesman) — nonIF but really interesting read about empathy so it relates

Okay, now my choices this week.

Still Waters has a post comparing her haircut experience to the changes you make because you think you should make them. (The example relates to blogging.)  It’s something I often ask myself: am I doing something because I think it’s something I should do or something I want to do?  Am I doing it because every magazine cover or advice column is telling me that if I don’t do X that it will be the reason I fail fail fail at life?  It’s a really good reminder to follow your own heart.

Constant in the Darkness has a post about how she feels she needs to remain tense in order to believe that they will one day be able to adopt again.  That having confidence will jinx the process.  In the end, she also recognizes the importance in letting go, in trusting that what will happen will happen and remaining anxious about it will not change the outcome.  Again, a good reminder.

Lastly, The Polka-Dot Umbrella has a post about trying to plan for a future when you’re infertile.  Her cousin questions the choices she is making in regards to her career, and she points out that those choices are the only place where she has control of the situation.  It’s a post about not putting your life on hold while you build your family.

The roundup to the Roundup: I have a book problem.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between June 5th and June 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.