685th Friday Blog Roundup
I am sad that Toys R Us is closing. The one that I went to as a child closed down years ago, so I can’t even jog through it one last time. I’m sad for the people who will lose their jobs. I hope the independent toy stores remain in business and aren’t squeezed out by Amazon, too. Yes, this is partly because I still buy toys (for me), but… I think in my mind, I tied the toy store news to the walkout; the idea that these kids are growing up and that a lot of the wonder they felt as kids has been sucked out of their lives as they consider reality; that they have to walk out of school and beg lawmakers to place their lives — children’s lives — before guns.
I am sad that Stephen Hawking died. There are very few times when I archive a news alert, but I archived that one. Reading it made me feel like a little hole had opened up inside my body. The world needs great minds; I’m sad that one is now gone.
And I am sad about the Cleveland clinic’s malfunction that compromised 2000 embryos and frozen eggs. So far the embryos they thawed for scheduled procedures haven’t been viable. And then, in the same weekend, another malfunction in California. What a huge blow for potential parents. If you are using a fertility clinic, you have usually already gone through emotional upheaval to end up in that space. To have this happen — TWICE — in a single weekend is heartbreaking.
A hard week.
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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.
Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.
As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.
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And now the blogs…
But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:
- “Adolescence and Adoption: How Adoptive Parents Can Support Teens” (GoodTherapy.org)
Okay, now my choices this week.
Infertile Phoenix has a post about failure. It’s a powerful post, detailing a near fail during her college years and a change in majors, leading up to her attempts to build her family. She calls herself “an expert at failure.” She is once again in a situation where the effort expended is not matching the outcome. But this time, she comes armed with history and knowledge. “I think I will pass. I will be okay if I don’t. I am still going to move to a different state, and I am still moving on with my life. Just like I’ve done with everything else so far, I will survive.”
One Step at a Time has a moving, raw post about her child’s sensory issues. She opens with the assessment period, explaining that waiting for the report was nerve-wracking. “And when it came I was prepared to fight it tooth and nail. I was ready to rip it apart just like they had ripped every part of my son with analysis. And I did that for myself. Just to get it out of my system. But in the end I just didn’t respond.” The post goes through the ups and downs until she arrives at their current solution. It’s a wonderful post; even better that she put this information out there in case it helps someone else.
Lastly, Bent Not Broken honours the four year anniversary of learning she would not be able to have children, a day that she calls “The Day Dreams Died.” The anniversary rolled around this year on a day when she was going to have to see a new baby and spend time around her nieces and nephews. She writes, “I know I’ve neglected this space lately, but today, on a day where I’m feeling not being able to have children viscerally, I’m glad I have it.” THAT is why I love blogging and our community in particular.
The roundup to the Roundup: Hard week. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 9th and 16th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.
5 comments
Hey I hope you find something to be happy about soon, though nothing wrong with acknowledging the sad, either.
I liked joe Counting Pink Lines sorted out her thoughts around pregnancy, here. It’s no small matter, sometimes.
https://countingpinklines.wordpress.com/2018/03/13/update-from-yesterday/
Maybe that’s why I’ve felt weighted this week. Until you put it all together like that, I didn’t quite get why I was feeling sadness. I understood some of my other emotions, but not that one.
Oh yes. I agree with Lori, I was so sad all week for reasons of my own, but having all of that collective sadness together makes it feel more like a universal sad. Sort of like when Alderaan was destroyed, which is not me making light of a horrible situation at all, but just the thought of all those embryos, all those hopes and dreams and sacrifices blinked out due to a clinic failure is just heartbreaking. I don’t know what you do when that happens, or if the clinic is offering any sort of recompense (not that it would help those not in a position to make more embryos, or take away the loss of the embryos who were destroyed and already so loved). Sadness.
Also, I missed the roundup last week (IEP Season is a black hole), but if it’s not too late I’d like to offer up OCD Infertile’s incredibly moving post about donor eggs: https://theocdinfertile.wordpress.com/2018/03/05/she-will-not-have-my-eyes/
It’s 3/5, but so worth being shared. Gorgeous and truly in the spirit of openness.
For some reason, what I thought of when I heard about the clinics was all the people that had genetic material from someone who had passed away, or who had saved material before cancer treatment , or who had donor material that maybe matched a living child…I kept thinking of the situations where there was no way to retrieve that material ever again…no way to duplicate, or if someone saved their eggs when they were younger just in case, and maybe didn’t have good eggs anymore…and I just can not wrap my head around the grief those people must feel. Especially if maybe they had lost a spouse in the time between having their stuff frozen. Terribly morbid, but that’s where my head went first.