#Microblog Monday 189: A Bit Kinder
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I’ve purchased — but haven’t read yet — Dan Harris’s 10% Happier. The idea appeals to me because 10% sounds totally do-able. 100% happier… that’s like Disney-level happy. But 10%, that’s more like a-really-good-salad happy. That’s finding-an-easy-parking-space happy.
Which is why I clicked on Elisha Goldstein’s article about putting 10% more kindness into the world. 100% more kindness… that’s the first step towards burnout or sainthood. But 10% kinder, that’s more like smiling-at-someone-when-they’re-snarling-at-you kind. That’s offering-to-take-something-off-someone’s-plate kind. I like the idea of being 10% kinder to myself as well.
As Goldstein states: “Remember, the immediate outcome isn’t the point; it’s more about giving your brain practice in kindness.”
Tell me one kind thing you did this week.
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13 comments
Ooh, good question.
I am writing a graduation speech, and in doing so, I am focusing on all the wonderful qualities of our graduates. It’s like swimming in goodness and promise.
Now I’m going to be thinking about kindness more today. 10% more.
I like this. Being kinder makes us happier, too.
I made some homemade banana chocolate chip muffins for my in-laws today. And some Easter eggs (yes, a bit late) which made my mother-in-law smile on what was a difficult day for her.
I think it’s so important… We just have no idea how one little smile or comment or gesture can change someone’s whole day around. When we’re somewhere and my daughter (the fashionista) whispers to me: “I love that girls’ boots!” I always tell her: “So why whisper it to me? I’m sure she’d love to know!”
I was driving to the supermarket and I saw a young man pushing his car. I stopped and asked him if he needed help. He had run out of gas. I drove him to the gas station and then drove him back to the car. I was nervous, especially with my daughter in the car, but I think she learned more that day from my compassion than my nerves.
And we met a neighbor.
I like that–“practice in kindness.”
I read 10% Happier a year or two ago, and I liked it. It wasn’t life-changing but it had some useful suggestions. And I agree with you: a 10% improvement in happiness sounds doable. 🙂
Something kind I did this week: hmm. Well, it’s only Monday, but I did mail copies of my sons’ recent school photos to their grandparents and my sister (their aunt). I’m sure that they will all smile when they receive them. (I even included an extra wallet-sized photo of each son for my stepmother — who I dislike — because my dad likes it when I do this.)
One kind thing this week, and it’s only Monday? Does ‘I didn’t swear at the driver in front of me even though he was going 15 mph below the speed limit’ count?
I also tried to be as kind as possible when coaching one of my employees who has now botched several big-deal reports for an important client. I tried to help him think through avoiding these problems. He keeps asking what he can do to get a higher performance rating or a better job, and it takes every last bit of kindness in my cold, black heart not to respond with a decent helping of sarcasm in light of these mistakes!
Yes! I like doable goals like that!
Ok…hmmm…what have I done that’s kind this past week? What have I done this past week? What was this past week?
Oh! I told a local artist how much I like her work! That’s a thing.
I feel like I’ve actually been especially unkind this week, so it’s difficult to come up with an answer to your question. I did stay up all night – despite overwhelming exhaustion – when my teenage niece (who is pregnant and having family trouble) needed someone to talk to. And my 10% more was when I connected her with a friend of mine who was also a teenage mom, and who was willing and able to give her some encouragement from someone who has “been there.”
I’m quite interested in the idea of 10%. Being kind to others is often done (I’m guilty of this, at least) with ulterior motives: feeling like a Good Person. Being kind to oneself is so difficult in reality – it’s easy to say words and go through motions and do little pep talks in the mirror, but it’s absorbing and truly believing those things that is nearly impossible.
I wonder which would be easier to start with. Would it be easier to be 10% kinder to yourself if you know you are being kinder to others, so you feel like you’re more worthy? Or is it easier to be kinder to others when you’ve been good to yourself and therefore have more to give?
I love that — imagine if everyone was just 10% kinder! I had a sort of superkind week — when I’m on break and feeling a little low, I like to do surprises for others. So I sent a friend who is going through a tough time The Little Book of Hygge and even had it gift wrapped, I sent another friend an Anne of Green Gables Litograph scarf, which then turned out to be backordered but that makes it even more of a random surprise, and I let someone go ahead of me in line at the dermatologist’s checkout because she had somewhere to go and was clearly stressed out about it (I also had to be somewhere in 5 minutes, and I thought about not letting her go because I was also in a rush, but then I figured what was another 2 minutes in the grand scheme of things when it could make her day?). Some weeks I do great, other weeks not quite as much, but I think that’s a great intention to set — be AT LEAST 10% kinder. Love it!
Ohhh, I love the idea of 10% happier and/or 10% more kind! As for something kind that I did… my kids and I welcomed our potential new neighbor to the neighborhood! They’ve got an offer accepted on the house across the street and had their inspection done today.
Funny how we constantly need reminders to set achievable goals, eh?
A kind thing I do is let my husband sleep in on weekends and refrain from mentioning or fixating on other things he might do instead.
I carried bags for a woman boarding the same bus. There are opportunities like this nearly every day and nearly every day, I try.
10% indeed!