#Microblog Monday 203: Envy
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As the article points out, “Nietzsche detected the handwriting of envy everywhere, observing, ‘Envy and jealousy are the private parts of the human soul’.” Truth.
The article is about using your envy to discover what YOU truly care about vs. what society has told you to care about. Because we all feel envy, and if we keep digging into that envy, noting when we feel envy, what we’re envious about on the surface, and then what we’re really envious about deep down inside — for instance, surface envy would be coveting someone else’s house; deeper envy is realizing what you’re coveting is assumed financial stability — then we can learn about ourselves and use that information to make decisions.
In other words, “envy can help us identify our vision of excellence and where need be, perhaps reshape it.”
My envy — like the example above — seems to stem from the idea of financial stability. Rather than stewing in it, I’ve been trying to read financial planning articles. The most boring reads of my life, but it’s making me feel like I’m accomplishing something.
What are you really envious of vs surface envy?
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7 comments
I really appreciated reading this article, as I am also a proponent of self-examination and self-knowledge.
This leapt out at me: ““Envy is secret admiration.” Which is the start, but then I want to also remember to dig deeper to the root level, the next time I experience envy.
Which should be in about 3…2…1…(facebook)
Hmm. I am envious of other people’s vacations, but the root envy is probably the ability to be spontaneous and willing to fly and go places without seeming to be paralyzed with practicality, logistics, and family-visit guilt. I admire (and envy) people who are like, “nope, were going on a bunch of vacations and we’ll catch up with you another time.” Tough to have parents all over the country. Also, I need to get over the fear of flying. I’m jealous of people who handle airports like a champ.
I liked the article’s perspective of envy and how we can choose to see the positive side of it. I am envious of certain things but then since I feel those things are beyond my means, I shut of those thoughts and make peace with myself. Probably, I should delve deeper.
I wish I had found this article years ago as I’ve been in a process of self-examination while dealing with envy in the context (and outside the context) of infertility. I took a long time to come to terms. Even now, there are moments where envy rears it’s head and I find myself stepping back.
I think the author tapped into something key which is a natural comparison we all subject ourselves to based on what we see as our ideal selves. We have a mental picture of how we want to lead our lives, but often we’re not ticking off all the boxes for our goals. Hence the envy. But turning it on it’s head for self examination is a great spin.
Thanks for the reminder for self reflection.
I think I’m most envious of peoples spontaneity…and the deeper reason is because my OCD requires me to plan every second of everything and do nothing without a lot of thought first.
I love the idea of this and it’s something to really strive to see in everyday situations!
I think i tend to turn envy into either admiration or desire… E.g I admire people who have certain talents that I know I lack. If I know I can achieve something someone else has I learn from envy what I desire. Envy of something that’s not admirable but which I desire, but cannot have, is a complex one … i guess fertility, bearing children, falls in to that category. At times that kind of envy turns bad. Jealousy? Misanthropy?… Best you can do with that is to practice a bit of self compassion I suppose.
I’ve delayed commenting on this, because I want to read the article, and go through the exercise myself of thinking what I envy, and what that means. I do love a good mental exercise looking inwards! Now, I just have to get around to doing it. lol