Lucky
“There are known knowns. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we now know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don’t know.” –Donald Rumsfeld
I never thought I’d quote Donald Rumsfeld. At least, not in this manner.
I’ve been thinking about the real unknown unknowns; the things that we don’t know about; the everyday problems that lurk out there and we don’t realize or notice because they don’t affect us. Some of them never come to fruition because a decision or two switches the path you’re on, saving you from disaster. And others come to light through circumstance. I was infertile before I knew I was infertile. I didn’t suddenly become infertile when we tried to conceive. I was infertile, but it was an unknown unknown until we were forced to know it.
There are thousands of moments every day when you avoid a crash that you have no clue you would have been in otherwise, or don’t have your bag stolen, or don’t meet the person you could have started a conversations with… all unknown unknowns that will always remain unrealized possibilities.
We don’t think of ourselves as lucky, even though we’ve potentially missed a host of terrible things just because don’t know what we’ve missed. And at the same time, we don’t think of ourselves as unlucky, even though we may have missed out on absolutely fantastic things that we’ll never know about.
Something I’m mentally chewing over right now.
4 comments
I’m laughing because I use this quote a LOT in my work and so do my colleagues. And we all have the same disclaimer that this quote that describes so much of what we encounter came from Donald Rumsfeld.
I think a lot about the unknown unknowns and how to prepare for them. Sometimes we have hints of what is coming (hence the need for keen observation), but often it’s about crisis management and having a plan in place so as not to be caught completely off guard. But what always gets me is how seemingly clueless many are to the near misses ansnear chances. Observing these moments and being aware that those pivot moments happen daily to everyone, and that many miss them (myself included) often leaves me reflecting.
On that note, I’m currently in the thick of unknown unknowns, disguised as known knowns and known unknowns. It’s surreal.
I was just talking about this idea a few days ago. I don’t have a Facebook account and my friend was asking if I had heard about some silly get together other school moms hadn’t invited us to. Not having Facebook gives me the luxury of not knowing when I’m excluded. And, had she not told me, it would have been one of those unknown unknowns. It’s one of my favorite things about not using social media.
I said something like this to someone just today about the intersection of infertility and adoption. I didn’t realize I was quoting Donald Rumsfeld!
You and Cristy have my head swimming 🙂
I like this idea, but it also makes me feel all twisty inside. I am always thinking of the things that could happen (a fall down the stairs, a car crash, a million accidents or acts of violence) but don’t, so maybe I am really thinking on how lucky I am? So much of life is a mystery. This is definitely something to chew on.