#Microblog Mondays 233: Be My Valentine
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As I said last year, Josh and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. At all. Every day is Valentine’s Day in our house. Not that… like… I make heart-shaped pancakes all the time. But I let everyone know how I feel every day of the year.
But what struck me this weekend was thinking about how damn important Valentine’s Day was for me back in high school or college. If I was dating someone, I wanted to know how we were going to celebrate it. If I wasn’t dating someone, it was a chance to get a really good mope going. The worst was starting to date someone in January. Was it too soon to do something for Valentine’s Day? Would it look weird if I suggested it?
Elementary school was easy: it was class parties and paper Valentines. But those high school and college years were a killer.
What are your Valentine’s Day memories from your teens/twenties?
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10 comments
At age 47, I am many years removed from my teens and 20s. . . and looking back, the Valentine’s Day memories that have stuck with me are the cards and candies that my father used to give me. (He always gave both my sister and me a fancy card and a small box of chocolates for VD.)
I’m sure I must’ve had boyfriends who did nice things for me — and my husband did, when we were dating, in my mid-30s — but I’ve forgotten them all now. Funny thing.
I wish I could ignore Valentine’s Day. As a kid, I remember the obligatory valentines handed out in elementary school, making it another day for candy. Middle school was when the flowers started showing up, which was always awkward as most people didn’t get them (while a select few carried bouquets). By college, I spent the day avoiding the world (compounded by learning about Sweetest Day… did you guys celebrate that too?).
I actually got into trouble with Valentine’s Day when Grey and I started dating given I was use to ignoring it. Our first year of marriage, I spent the day playing inner tube basketball with my grad school cohort (Grey still hasn’t let me forget that one).
We’re currently back in the elementary phase with this holiday (this year involves glow sticks), but you are reminding me that we each look at the holiday differently and celebrate love in different ways.
Nope, I’ve never celebrated it. Though influence from US media has made it more of a “thing” here these days, it was never celebrated when I was in my teens/20s. And we just celebrated our wedding anniversary last week, and for 30+years that’s been way more important to us.
We did the usual Valentine Day parties/card exchanges at school when I was growing up, at least, in the earlier grades. I really don’t remember it being much of a “thing” when I was in junior high & high school, although perhaps that’s selective memory, since I didn’t have a boyfriend then. :p 😉 I do remember that my mom would usually have a little box of chocolates sitting by our plates (although I don’t remember now if that was at breakfast, lunch or dinner!).
Dh is not big into Valentine’s Day (nor was my previous boyfriend). We usually exchange cards & that’s about it. Flowers are so ridiculously priced for this one day that I’ve told him not to bother. We used to go out for dinner, but the restaurants are usually so crowded & noisy (if you can get in!), so we gave up on that a while ago too. We did have a very nice Valentine’s Day dinner at a little Italian restaurant near our first apartment when we were first married that I still remember fondly. 🙂
Valentine’s Day hasn’t ever really been a big deal for us. We’ve never done more than just exchange cards (if that), but for whatever reason, it’s SUPER important to our twins this year! They are over the moon excited for Valentine’s Day, soooo we must not disappoint.
Never done Valentine’s Day, nor moped about it. Just not one of the holidays I care about. I think if I’d had the vocabulary back then I would have said it was too steeped in patriarchy. At the time it just squicked me out as one of those cathy the comic strip things that made me feel uncomfortable as an expectation of femininity, so I rejected it.
Funny that you’re talking about Valentine’s Day. My students warned me to not do a week of love posts. Haha! I don’t even remember Valentine’s Day as a teen. The only thing I remember as a college student is selling “heart messages” to be placed in the student newspaper on V-Day.
You know, from an early age Valentine’s has always been celebrated as a big deal. Even in middle school, we still did valentines, and there was a dance that was held during the school day in the afternoon and it was such a miserable experience (for me and any other kids who weren’t popular). I hated it so much. Thankful for my kids there has never been a middle school dance during school hours that was mandatory basically. Valentine’s Day was always a source of sadness if you didn’t have someone or if they didn’t do something special and it was always such bullshit. So, as an adult and having been married for so many years, we have decided that we don’t celebrate this completely commercial “holiday”. I’m just not ok giving my money to companies for this crap. Greeting cards that are $5 or more is just a ridiculous waste, for any holiday but especially this one. Once upon a time I used to buy the kids a small box of chocolate a piece (the $1 ones) but this year I’m only making a heart-shaped red velvet cake for fun. Even my kids are asking “what’s the cake for?” And I am answering “Thursday”. I definitely am trying to make sure my kids (but especially my girls) realize this is just a made up day and that it should never make them feel sad or worthless or anything else.
It’s gotten so ridiculous. As a kid in grade school, we just signed our name on the paper valentines, and when my oldest was in pre-k we were the ONLY ONEs who just sent those…everyone else had candy and massive treat bags attached and I was floored. I still have a closet full of boxes of the paper ones I got on massive clearance, so my younger two can pick from those when it’s time. And maybe I will attach a pencil or some fun thing but that’s it.
Ack, I missed the deadline for Monday! Ah, Valentine’s Day. We make each other handmade, cheesy valentines and eat a nice dinner at home for the “holiday” — we don’t go out or do overpriced flowers or spend dollars on cards or stuffed animals. We are like you, that we can show each other love all year round, and don’t need a special occasion to have a romantic evening together!
When I was in 8th grade, I was designated a “Valentine Girl” — we dressed up in pink and red and delivered carnations to people that were bought by friends or boyfriend/girlfriends. I wasn’t remotely popular and so delivering tokens of popularity to people was definitely…interesting. I can’t imagine that being a thing now.
When I was 29, I moved out of my home the weekend before Valentine’s Day because my horrible soon-to-be-ex-husband had said he was moving back in and I knew I couldn’t stay. That week, he literally sent me flowers and chocolates and stuffed animals at work, something he’d NEVER done in our actual pre-cheating-discovery marriage, and so finally here I am, receiving flowers, but hating them all. So I took the two dozen rose arrangement and walked around my corporate office, handing them out to people and cheerfully wishing everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day, as they were dirty dirty flowers to me but didn’t need to go in the garbage when others could enjoy them. It was surreal.
Such a strange holiday!
I think I’ve blocked out those memories. Curious.
When I was in my 20s, I spent year in Japan. What I remember about that is that Feb 14 was Valentine’s Day, when girls give stuff to boys. And a month later, on March 14, there was White Day, in which boys give stuff to girls. Even though I had no prospect at that time, I knew I wouldn’t like having the pressure first.
https://us.jnto.go.jp/blog/valentines-day-white-day-in-japan/