773rd Friday Blog Roundup

People who have been reading this blog for a long time will remember TOOTPU — The Order of the Plastic Uterus — which was a group of DC IF bloggers who would get together about once a month. Sometimes bloggers who came into town also joined our group for a meetup.

The group drifted apart, though most of us kept in touch via Facebook. Which isn’t really the same thing. I miss these women and feel so lucky that I had these people in my life and got to be part of the group.

Sunny has been battling brain cancer for many years, and she entered hospice. I was out picking up the twins when I heard the news from Lori, and I started crying when I tried to tell them about it in the car. And then I started laughing because I was thinking about all the times when Sunny would tell me that we needed to do something about my bra situation. She thought that my boobs had perky potential if I would just get myself a better bra.

I call her SLAB — Sweetest Lady Across the Bridge — because she lives over the bridge in Virginia. It’s just a few miles down the road, but years ago, every time I had to cross the bridge for some reason, I would email her to let her know that I had traveled into “scary, scary Virginia” and she would do the same to tell me about being in “scary, scary Maryland.” (Native Marylanders and Virginians do not like to cross the bridge and go into each other’s states.)

I stand by this still, “I wish there was a job where I could get paid to tease Sunny.”

I will leave you with a link to one of my favourite posts that she wrote in a moment of great emotional pain:

It is hard to breathe sometimes. Just the act of taking a breath takes so much courage. There are days everything hurts. To think about going on and living can be so hard. Breathing is all you can do.

During all of this I have had a friend who shows up sometimes. This friend isn’t invited and never will be. It is the elephant that likes to move in and sit on my chest. Breathing becomes almost impossible. So I pray. I use G-d’s Word to make it move. I stay busy or even have a glass of wine to just calm me. Giving me courage to make it go. Each day the elephant visits less and less. THEN something will happen to invite it more. The process of making him leave begins again.

Sending good thoughts, SLAB.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “IVF Add-ons Racket: New Oversight Needed” (Silent Sorority)
• “A Socially Unacceptable Grief” (Pamela Tsigdinos on Medium)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Life Without Baby reflects on her year. What doesn’t feel quite right in her brain looks pretty good when she starts writing it out in her journal. Paper often brings feelings down to size, and it’s a good reminder when you feel overwhelmed by your inner monologue to silence it by writing out the truth.

The Uterus Monologues writes about how her experiences have changed her perspective. She explains, “I don’t think I was always this way. I’ve always been cautious, certainly. But not pessimistic. Not perpetually braced for disappointment as sometimes I wonder if I am now.” Disappointment is death by 1000 paper cuts, and she unpacks the feeling that hovers over her heart.

Life’s Basic Elegance has a post about the dreaded question: “Are you pregnant?” I love this point: “People often ask that intrusive question out of selfishness because they don’t want to be excluded. When people are ready to share their amazing news they will, but out of respect and love, I advise you to wait.” This post should be required reading.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix points out the obvious (and I love it): “Whatever you decide for The Holidays 2019 is not set in stone for the rest of your life. Every year is different.” It’s so simple and it’s so true, and it’s a fact that can help you get through frustrating years. I hope the post helps you, too, if you need it.

The roundup to the Roundup: Sending love to Sunny’s family. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 13th and 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.