842nd Friday Blog Roundup
It is currently National Infertility Awareness Week. I was going to write a post—the theme is the power of stories and the hashtag is #WhatIWantYouToKnow—but because I constantly write about infertility and loss, I couldn’t think of anything that hasn’t been said during the other 51 weeks of the year. Or, in the case of this blog, the almost 780 weeks I’ve been writing in this space.
So instead of repeating my story, I’m encouraging you to tell yours. Dust off your blog this week, start a new one, post on your favourite social media platform, and let people know what you want them to know.
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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.
Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.
As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.
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And now the blogs…
But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:
- “Inaccurate Thinking and Self-compassion” (No Kidding in NZ)
Okay, now my choices this week.
Bereaved and Blessed is remembering her daughter, Molly, on her 13th birthday. She begins: “Today you would be 13, a teenager. I’ve been struggling to write this for so many reasons. This week has felt really heavy, not to mention this month and year. It is both healthy and okay to feel everything I am feeling and it is really hard.” I love this post because it ties her daughter into the here and now, connecting with bereaved families and the hard events (both personal and worldwide) of the last year, and holding all in her heart.
Infertile Phoenix talks about the inevitable and unavoidable pain of emotional growth spurts. As she points out: “Growth is painful. It’s so hard. But staying the same isn’t any easier.” So true. She reflects on what is learned from re-reading old posts.
Lastly, Finding a Different Path reframes the term “rainbow baby,” balancing out the hopeful and the alienating. As good as those child-after-loss stories feel, there is the other side: “It feels terrible when there is no rainbow baby, when the miscarriage or baby loss is the experience you get and there’s no more.” She brings in an idea from Jessica Zucker’s book and extends that rainbow to cover alternative outcomes and other gains. She reflects on her own rainbows.
The roundup to the Roundup: Tell your story for NIAW. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 16 – 23) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.
5 comments
Like you, on No Kidding in NZ I write about infertility/not having children every week (as A Separate Life is my more general blog about life), so I feel as if I write about it all the time. Maybe though I’ll take the topic and write about it on A Separate Life too. Good grief – I was just flooded with ideas, and was distracted away from here to write them all down. You see, I always do what I’m told! lol
You’ve picked the two posts I had to flag this week, so at this stage I can’t add any extra, unless I catch up on my blog reading this weekend.
780 weeks! And you have shared so much and continue to in this space… Thank you for being you and continuing to be such an incredible resource and tying us all together. xoxo
Thank you so much for featuring my post from Molly’s 13th Birthday/the 13th anniversary of her death. It never gets old finding out one of my posts spoke to you enough for you to share it here and it is such an honor for me.
I am not sure if I will get around to writing a new post in honor of NIAW, however, I too have written so much over the years on my blog and am not sure how much more I have to say these days. Though at some point I may write about how experience with infertility can influence parenting older children, especially those reaching puberty and beyond. I definitely approach teaching about family building from a different perspective with them, after all we’ve been through.
Please add this beautiful and moving letter from Kristen Welker to her daughter (due via surrogate in June) to second helpings: https://www.today.com/parents/kristen-welker-s-letter-daughter-about-surrogacy-today-t215915?fbclid=IwAR2ucJKR27Nl_oaUcsfS_rP491jBkBTS-CLtUD2KOp-HsXOmw7HyOj155w0
“Every journey is unique; don’t compare yourself to others. There will be heartbreaks in life; some won’t ever fully heal, others will make you stronger. It is OK to ask for help; in fact, it can be empowering. Families are made in all different ways, come in all different shapes and sizes, and all families should be celebrated.” ~ Kristen Welker
I am so happy for Kristen Welker and her husband John Hughes. Kristen is one of my fav newscasters and John is from my hometown/his family and mine went to the same church (we made our 1st Communions together there) and I remember him from those days. I’ve been following their love story since I read about it in the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/fashion/weddings/for-nbcs-kristen-welker-love-took-its-time.html. I am so proud of them for sharing their journey/difficult path to parenthood on the Today show, especially during this National Infertility Awareness Week.
Also, I couldn’t help but think of and miss my fav surrogate Kym and how much she’d appreciate their story.
Thank you for the mention! I enjoyed reading Elaine’s post this week about taking some time To Be after leaving her job of eight years. She touches on people’s perceptions of her experience (it’s not as easy as one might think to “have so much free time” due to being jobless) and also on her desire for certainty while also practicing simply enjoying the moment. https://www.elaineok.com/ein-erster-bericht/
I also really liked Mali’s post about having gratitude for the little things! https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2021/04/gratitude-for-little-things.html
Thank you so much for including me! Super belated as this last week or so has been bananas. I think this is the first year I forgot about NIAW. I do like the “What I Want You To Know” prompt though. Wheels-a-turning. And thank you for your 780 weeks… Wow!