Convincing Myself
Pre-pandemic, Josh and I plotted out things we would start doing/learning about to build new hobbies to get us through the early months of an empty nest. We gave ourselves three years to find meaningful volunteer work, hobbies that would translate into travel ideas, and projects that would fill the hours normally filled with school events and homework help and hanging out with the twins.
And then the pandemic hit, and pretty much everything we set up before the pandemic is gone.
I mean, not gone-gone. Birding is not gone because birds are still around. And we can go back to that one once we can travel again. But my two volunteer projects are gone—one may return, the other will not and needs to be replaced. Part of me thinks I should get on that. The other part of me feels like maybe I need to accept that I will not be able to buffer myself from my feelings with volunteer work and hobbies.
One of the things we keep looping back to is wine. I know nothing about wine because I do not drink wine. And Josh does not drink wine. But we came up with wine as a hobby while we were in France—looking at grapevines!—because it gives us a lot to learn AND we can build travel into the hobby (visit vineyards around the world), but there are also nearby vineyards AND grapevines are pretty. It’s pretty much perfect, except that we don’t like wine.
It’s not as if I don’t like a type of wine. I don’t like any alcohol. So… that’s probably a problem with this idea.
I’ve looped back to other ideas: what about tea? What about becoming a tea enthusiast and learning all about tea and taking trips to tea farms? Or coffee? What about learning everything there is to know about coffee roasting and visiting coffee roasters and coffeehouses around the world? Both of those sound like a much better fit as a current tea or coffee drinker.
But there’s something about making wine fit that I keep coming back to. As if trying to convince myself that I like wine and will drink wine is more about trying to convince myself that I am okay with this era of our life wrapping up in a couple of years. That if I can swallow wine—something I don’t enjoy and turn it into something I can live with—that I can swallow an empty nest, too.
5 comments
How about cheese?
One time, many years ago, I went to a cheese tasting workshop. It was really fun!
(if you like cheese, of course, and are not allergic… )
Just think – you can travel the world, visit cheese farms, taste amazing cheeses produced in exotic places, pet the goats or cows or horses (is there such a thing as horse cheese? not sure…. maybe in Mongolia…). I wonder if there is such a thing as Europe bike tours of cheese farms….
Life is short. Don’t do things you don’t enjoy (ie, wine-drinking).
Well, I don’t know. It sounds like a quest that could take you a looooooong time. Tasting wines until you find one you like might be a decades long effort that takes you everywhere from Southern Illinois to California to Australia to Germany and Italy and France. Even China is working on wine these days. There’s probably one out there for you somewhere.
(I would agree with Natka about not doing things you don’t enjoy, except that I think that you would enjoy a quest like that. Not the sampling part, but the search.)
🙁
There may be some things you have no choice but to swallow, and others that present a bit more choice. Honestly, I’d be trying to control what I can. And maybe sipping the wine to see if it tastes any better with age.
Hugs.
I’m a wine lover. But I remember my first sip, when I was a teenager, when I just thought, “yuck!” So it is an acquired taste, I think. (Don’t they say that babies, when trying new foods, need at least 10-20 attempts before they absolutely know if they like or dislike something. Adults probably are the same.)
Starting slowly with wine might be the way – use it in cooking too – and gradually moving to dryer white wines or stronger reds, for example. Really cheap reds are not worth trying – they are still “yuck!” if you ask me. (I’m wondering if there is a guide somewhere of how to start learning about wine, and drinking it?) And the lovely thing with wine is that it is meant to be savoured. I really hate seeing TV shows where characters pour huge glasses of wine, or just glug it down. What a waste. (And so tacky too!)
You’re right, though. Wine tourism is fun – wine regions are beautiful, they’re often accompanied with wonderful restaurants, nice b&bs or rental accommodation, and other fun activities. Cycling through vineyard areas is popular here, and a wonderful way to see an area. And you can’t really beat a lovely outdoor vineyard lunch (a big platter or picnic basket of yumminess, for eg) surrounded by nature. It’s one of my favourite things to do as we travel around NZ or Australia or Italy or Spain or France etc etc. (And one day, the US.) And strictly speaking, you don’t have to drink the wine, but can enjoy the environment. Though tasting wines is fun for me.
Interestingly, I want to develop a taste for whisky before we go to Scotland. lol I don’t like whisky or really any spirits – but I think it’s because I have rarely had it, don’t know what I’m looking for, and just haven’t developed a taste for it.
This is so beautiful and bittersweet. I love the symbolism of the wine.
Soooo… what about shrubs? Bryce really got into making shrubs, which are like a fruited vinegar that you can use with club soda as a nonalcoholic drink (or add to alcoholic drinks, which is how we did them mostly, ha). There are soooo many kinds, and they are really good for you but also fun. There are entire books and then you could go to different…shrubberies?
I’m with Mali on the wine… the wrong ones can just give you a headache and a sour taste. I think both cheap reds and whites could reinforce that you don’t like wine… There are great ones out there though! I think Bryce has a list of “wine for people who don’t like wine.”