#Microblog Monday 438: Unsubscribing
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Every so often, I enter a new stage of life and join many online communities — from bulletin boards to Facebook groups — to glean information. Most of the time, I remain in those groups because the group drifts apart long before I finish that stage of life.
But it’s different from all the college groups I’ve joined over the last year. I no longer need to stay in them once the twins commit somewhere except to pass backward information to someone in the group. Therefore, I’ve decided to remain active in the groups despite not benefiting from them. Because it’s a comfortable space full of now-familiar names. Still, most people I know at the same stage are leaving the groups now that the life change is behind them.
Do you drop out of groups once an event is finished, or do you allow the group to drift apart with time, staying there long after you need the group?
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2 comments
Hmm. I think there are different definitions of “need” in play here. Sometimes, I’ll leave a group. I was part of a “going grey” group when I first started letting my hair grow out naturally. I loved seeing the different stages people were at, learning about grey hair and how it might change and be different, seeing options for styles, etc. But once my hair was completely grey (which was extremely quick, given the pixie cut I had, and the fact it started in the pandemic lockdown and I didn’t even realise I was doing it for six weeks), I was happy with the result, and didn’t need any support. I hadn’t “met” anyone in particular, and so left the group. I haven’t missed it either.
But if I had become friendly with some of the other people there, it would be different. My “need” would no longer be the information, but the sense of connection with others. I stayed part of an ectopic messageboard for a long time after stopping trying, because my need wasn’t information or advice or grief support (any more), it was connection and understanding. (Ultimately I joined the team that was helping the newbies.) I think that’s why we all still blog too!
Oops – sorry, I’ve rabbited on a bit there. The answer is yes and no.
I will admit that I tend to hang around, or at least I very seldom cancel my account and/or delete my bookmarks. 😉 I’m thinking of all the infertility & pregnancy loss & scrapbooking message boards I used to hang out on. Many of them disappeared before I did, even if I hadn’t been there as often as I once had been. (In non/pre-online terms, I still enjoyed flipping through bridal magazines long after my own wedding was over… dh asked me if I was already making plans for the next one! lol)