Something Other Than the Roundup
You know how I’ve trucked along here for 17 years, writing at least five times per week without fail? Sort of like the USPS… “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” Perhaps not as important as delivering the mail, but my point is rain, heat, and gloom of night have never stopped me.
The twins leaving for college has stopped me.
Each week gets harder mentally, physically, and emotionally. I keep it together for work. I mostly keep it together in front of the twins. I do not keep it together any other time. I feel heavier and heavier, slower and slower, sadder and sadder.
I don’t think I’m conveying it well.
But suffice it to say that I can’t write. I woke up thinking that writing was just one more can’t in a long line of mental can’ts. I didn’t want to leave the blog empty, so I just grabbed the URLs of old posts and scheduled posts. It’s like a small time machine. The posts are fine, but I loved reading through the comment section. I hope you do, too.
I will be back in September. I’m sorry if you write me, and I don’t write back. I go back to the first thought. This is the time that stopped me.
14 comments
We will miss you but taking a break is fine!
I do hope you’re getting some talk therapy for this loss. You’re taking it really hard.
I’m glad to hear you’re keeping it together in front of the twins.
Internet hugs and best wishes.
Take the time, enjoy what you can, and mourn all the rest. You are doing the right thing and being where you need to be.
Sending gentle hugs
Holding space for you as you grieve. Ready to read your words again when you are ready to write them.
Take the time and space you need.
Transitions are hard, even when it’s right and good that they’re happening.
Sending huge (((HUGS))). xoxo
Hugs and hopes for peace and recovery
Thinking of you and sending hugs, Mel.
I am so sorry. I totally understand why this is so hard. Will miss your writing.
I think everyone has a time when blogging is simply too hard. You’re facing such a major life transition, so in many ways it is amazing that it has taken you this long to need such a break. Take care of yourself (and Josh and the twins). Return when you’re ready. We’ll be here.
That sounds like an awesome idea, and I see that you’ve picked some winners to repost. Sending you strength to get through this trying time! We’ll all miss you.
Good luck to the twins on their new journeys. I’m sure they’re almost as challenged by this change as you are, but for them, it’s more tempered by excitement for the next big thing. Hope Josh is holding up well too.
Holding you in my thoughts during this tough transition. I get it. I cry every time my kids leave for college/grad school. Only words of wisdom I can give you having done this 4 times so far—they do come home for breaks before you know it 🙂
Love you Mel!!! Here to support you. You give so much support to me and other readers. It would mean so much for us to be able to help you cope with this painful transition.
Also thank you for writing how it feels because I am going to reach out more to my neighbor whose son left for college out of state a couple weeks ago. Another mom I know flew to WY for a week-long yoga retreat after dropping her son off at school. This feels like grief and how opaque it can be where our questions stay superficial. Instead of talking about when fall break is, we could talk about the empty room / the seat at the table. Thanks Mel and sending hugs!
Have been thinking of you and your family since this post. Sending hopes for strength and healing as you work through this transition.