#Microblog Monday 484: Sharing at Restaurants
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I didn’t realize that I had feelings about sharing food at restaurants until I read this newsletter essay about sharing food at restaurants.
I am team not sharing. If I order X, I want X and do not want to feel like I also have to try or eat Y. I mean, yes, I’ve gone into situations where I plan with another person to split our two meals so we could each have half of the other option. But unless I’ve done that, I’m not inclined to choose X off the menu and then have someone tell me when it gets to the table that they’re going to take half of X, and in exchange, I can have half of Y (something I likely didn’t want).
So are you team sharing-is-caring or team I-ordered-what-I-wanted-to-eat?
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7 comments
Huh. I think for me – it depends on who I am with? If it’s people from work or acquaintances I barely know – nah, I don’t want to share.
Family, on the other hand, I am perfectly happy to share plates with! But we usually discuss it while we are ordering: “Hey, I want to get X but this Y thing that you are thinking about looks amazing, too. Want to share?” Also, one of my kids doesn’t eat very much, so I’ll either get something that the 2 of us can split – or she gets something that she splits with her sister.
When I was a kid, I remember learning that it was rude to ask to take food home with you from a restaurant (we never went to restaurants so I don’t actually know how that worked…) – this was back in the USSR.
At a restaurant, I am team switching plates! We often talk about what we’d like to order, and our default is to share things, switching plates mid-meal. If the restaurant serves a non-veg dish that my husband would not eat but that I typically love, then he encourages me to order it. I think this system works for us because I tend to order something safe that I’ve enjoyed before, and he’s more adventurous (though limited by the sometimes slim number of veg options.). We almost always take home some of the food because with an appetizer or salad we often fill up before entrees come.
My parents are awkward because my dad asks my mom to try her dish and she acts irritated at the request. He offers her a bite of his dish, and she generally declines. When I’m with them I try to model offering with a smile.
Edited to say to model offering to give him a bite “in a little while” with a smile (he asks too soon like as soon as she gets her food)
But I should actually support her right to eat her entree and not try to influence them.
I am also a “depends” — in most cases, NO. I want what I want. I don’t want yours. And I have a hard time with sharing appetizers where I have to count all the pieces to make sure that I don’t eat more than my fair share (which then looks like I’m being distrustful of those around me, but it’s to protect you, I swear!). So that isn’t appealing. Family-style restaurants stress me out. BUT, when we were in LA and went to that amazing Thai restaurant, we did order family-style and got to try a bit of everything, and you could have more of the things you liked, and I didn’t mind that AT ALL. (It helped that everything was gluten free, because any sharing situation is terrifying when you have Celiac.)
It depends on the restaurant for me, to be honest. Some are designed for individual meals. Offering tastes of a dish is fine, and we will share the sides, but each meal is what we wanted to eat individually. And I’d never dip my bread into someone’s soup unless specifically invited! Maybe not even then. Occasionally, though, I’ll share a starter with a friend, or a dessert. (I was going to say entrees, but you North Americans mistranslate that into the main course, lol. Note for travellers to NZ – entrees are just that, starters.)
But there are so many places now (here at least) that do sharing plates, and they are all designed to share, along with the sides and appetisers etc. For Jess, they’re all very good at saying, “there are four of you and only three dumplings, shall I add another?” I recently had a divine eggplant dish that someone else suggested we order (they’d had it before), and it was the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time. But if we’d stuck to individual plates I’d never have tasted it.
And eating Asian it is compulsory to share. I hate going out for Asian food when people want their own curry, etc. That’s not how it’s done! lol The meals are themselves designed to be mixed and matched. Something hot, something sweet, something sour, etc. They don’t work individually. They must go in the middle, and we serve ourselves from them, taking what we want, leaving if there’s anything we don’t want.
I am team Not Sharing. I have a food allergy and I generally can’t eat what others have ordered. So “sharing” is just me giving my food away, which I am ok with once I am done only. Family style restaurants are my nightmare.
I don’t object to sharing, but sometimes I just want my own food with no consideration of what anyone else wants. My husband did not understand that philosophy – he always wanted to share everything. But he wasn’t subject to our daughter saying no when you asked her if she wanted some of whatever I was making for myself to eat and then proceeding to eat it all once she saw what it looked like. Also, he grew up sharing everything with his family, whereas my next-older sister and I were extremely territorial.