Repeat: Firsts
Like last year, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.
We survived the first day of kindergarten.
They were excited to get to the building, but when we walked up to the door for drop-off, the Wolvog became wide-eyed and quiet, saying goodbye to us in a daze while he allowed himself to be led inside. The ChickieNob burst into tears and screamed, “I’m scared! I’m overwhelmed! I’m overwhelmed!” and begged us not to make her go to kindergarten because “there are too many kids! Too much noise!” But she too allowed herself to be led inside.
I walked back to the car with Josh and drove home in tears, and once he left for work, cried like an animal. I sat on the sofa and did one of those screaming cries, not caring if the neighbours heard. I literally felt as if my skin was being yanked inside out, with all my organs spilling to the floor and rolling away to the far-reaches of the room.
