Repeat: The Last Gift

I am not writing my blog right now because I want to spend time with the twins before they return to college. I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty and I could have space to best use the end of their break. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

A few months ago, we received a gift card for $75 when Josh’s aunt was closing up his grandmother’s accounts after death. I know the natural initial thought is: what fun. But we were also told the gift card would expire on January 21, 2013, and we suddenly felt a tremendous amount of pressure to get something that would honour her and help the kids remember her; a final gift from their great-grandmother.

By the time we returned to thinking about the card, we had two weeks left before it expired. My stomach was in knots every time we thought about it. We couldn’t put it toward a trip because we needed to use the money by the 21st and we hadn’t time to travel. While there were things we needed insofar as home repair, there wasn’t enough time to make an informed decision. We didn’t want to squander it on groceries or media. We wanted the gift to be monumental, yet we had no ideas what sort of gift would feel monumental.

Read the whole post here.