The Last Day
When we woke up on Sunday morning, we could tell it would be the last day. Beorn had been progressively getting worse — he had been to the vet twice in the past week — and while he could swallow water, he couldn’t swallow his critical care.
We debated taking him to an emergency vet about an hour away (most vets don’t specialize in guinea pigs), but as he rested in my arms, I realized that the kinder thing would be to help him go. The infection hadn’t responded to three rounds of antibiotics. He looked so exhausted.
So we held him from a little after 9 am until after 8 pm. That still wasn’t enough, but we wanted him to feel loved for every second of his last day on earth. So we stroked him and listed all of the people who loved him. He FaceTimed with the kids a few times — that was really the only time he perked up when he heard his best friends’ voices. But mostly he rested in our arms and got head rubs and back rubs. We thanked him for helping us through the pandemic and the kids leaving for college. And we told him he was the best pig in the world.
Around 7 pm, he started having seizures. We told him we were so sorry that we didn’t know the solution, and he rested between convulsions and snuggled deeper into my arms. A little after 7:30, he died. He let out one long last breath, then went still and sank a little deeper into my arms. We FaceTimed the kids so they could say goodbye, too, and we gave him last kisses on his head from each person who loved him.
Holding someone I love so deeply, who I needed so badly, and helping them go hurt a lot. It was such an impossibly hard thing to do but it was maybe the most important eleven hours of our relationship. I feel so grateful that we got to be with him until the end. That he was cuddled until the end.
The house feels very empty. I’m still cleaning up his things, but entering the living room and not seeing my pig breaks my heart over and over again. He was my best companion, my always friend, and it is hard to go through the day without him.
11 comments
This is heartbreakingly beautiful. I agree that being with a loved one at the end is a powerful representation of your love. Holding space for peace and healing for all of you ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
You did a really good job doing a really hard thing. I’m sending love to all of you.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard but so important to be present for the passing of your beloved family member. I am certain that Beorn felt love and comfort from all of you. He was so loved. The emptiness is so hard. Sending love and peace to you while you go through this heavy grief.
Such an important and heartbreaking duty… I’m so sorry for such a loss, Melissa.
It is a heartbreaking privilege to love a pet through its final days and minutes. So much love here.
I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. I’m glad you got to spend his last day holding him, and he was surrounded with love.
So very sorry – and he gave and received so much love – and that is all.
*hug*
Such a beautiful tribute to the last moments of your amazing pig. It sounds so hard, and so loving, and Beorn was such a lucky furry family member to have you to snuggle him to the end. Sending you so much love.
I’m sure Beorn felt the love. Big (((hugs))) to you all.
So very sorry for your deep loss. He was the most special of all pigs and a very good boy. Abiding with you in your loss and shedding a few tears for a pig I never met but felt that I knew.
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