Category — Creme de la Creme

My brain feels incredibly mushy, like the last clementine you leave in the bag for some unknown reason for an extra three weeks that sort of feels okay to the touch but sort of not, and you stand with the refrigerator door open for an extra 30 seconds holding it, wondering if you should eat it or dump it for safety sake.

I probably shouldn’t be blogging now.

This is sort of like drunk dialing where I’m going to drag the phone to the bathroom (so I don’t wake up my roommate but also to be close to a toilet in case I hurl) and squeeze myself into the corner so the towels are hanging over my face while I cry into the receiver that I just.love.you.so.much.

I love you guys so much.

I finish writing the last Creme blurb for all entries received before December 15th.  There are still dozens to do that came in after December 15th and more that will come in after the list goes up, but the ones I promised to do so the list can go up the morning of January 1st are finished.  Edited (though I’m sure you’ll find type-os).  Links checked.

What amazes me every year — which everyone else gets to experience too once the list goes up — is the scope of our experiences.  That I’ve done this now six times, and there are still viewpoints on the list I’ve never considered before.  Ways of looking at infertility or adoption or loss that literally hadn’t occurred to me prior to reading the post.  Isn’t that sort of incredible?  I don’t just mean that I never saw another post like it on a past Creme de la Creme list; I mean that I’ve never read a post like it.  Period.

There is so much to learn from listening.  From sitting with someone else’s thoughts and words.  Like our own experiences, it is what takes life from being a two-dimensional, black-and-white drawing to being a 3D, technicolour movie.  Hopefully you will devour the list in smaller bites than I did this year (there were a few days when I worked on the list through the entire day until my ass went numb).  I hope you enjoy it when the list goes up tomorrow.

On a site note, The Grateful Said (best comment you received in 2011) will kick off at the beginning of January.  I decided to run them back-to-back instead of simultaneously so we could all concentrate on one thing at a time.  You may want to go choose a comment that moved you during the wait so you’re ready to go when the list opens.  Hint: go to a post that was hard for you to write and pick the first good comment; that was probably the one that set your heart at ease, which is a pretty important distinction to have.

Happy last day of 2011.  May you have a very happy new year.

This is it, we’re down to the wire insofar as submissions for the soft deadline for the 2011 Creme de la Creme.  What is the soft deadline?  It’s the December 15th deadline that ensures that your blog post is on the list when it goes up on January 1st in the morning.  You can still submit after December 15th (up until January 5th), but your blog post will go up later — after the Creme de la Creme has already been posted on January 1st.  Which means that you will miss out on getting the most eyes on your post since the largest number of people read it when it first goes up.

We’re actually a little bit behind where we were submission-wise at this time last year, which is strange because we were so far ahead of last year at first.  All I know is that our goal is to get at least 400 posts on the list.  Have you contributed your words?

Speaking of getting eyes on your post, as it usually goes with these sorts of things, the higher up you are on the list, the more people read your post.  We’ve already had one IComLeavWe’er win the 6th slot on the list.  Another IComLeavWe’er will be chosen at the end of December’s IComLeavWe to win the 4th slot.  And here is your chance to win the 2nd slot on the list.  The only thing you have to do is spread around some love.

Like my annual Purim giveaway, the only thing you need to do to enter is leave a comment on someone’s blog.  That’s it — there’s no Tweeting about it, or liking a Facebook page, or blogging about it.  The only entries that count are comments on blog posts.  Here’s how it works (and you can enter as many times as you like):

• Leave a comment below telling me where you left a comment already today–and feel free to leave, write a comment somewhere, and come back.  Please put the name of that blog and a link to the post in the comment.  And say something nice about that person’s post.  And no, commenting on this post doesn’t count for where you’ve left a comment (though my blog still counts as long as you’ve commented on a different post).  The posts that you’re commenting on need to have been written in December 2011 (only entries with a link to a post written in that time frame count).
• You can enter as many times as you like.  Which means the more you comment around the blogosphere, the more chances you have to win.  Only comments that talk about a post you read elsewhere in the blogosphere have a chance at winning (in other words, if you write below, “this is a great idea!” I’ll be appreciative, but you won’t be eligible to win.  You need to list a place where you commented today, give the url for the post, and say something about the post).
• Each comment counts as one entry, so if you’ve commented in three places, you’re allowed to leave that in three entries here.  Leaving it in separate comments is actually sort of an important fact because too many links in a comment will make it caught by the spam filter.  I will release comments caught by the spam filter, but it will take me a moment, and then that only counts as one entry (whereas if you listed them separately, you could have gotten a bunch of entries).
• The contest ends at 8 a.m. EST on Thursday the 15th, therefore, you can return all week and list new, great blog posts you found.  If you’re still confused, think of this as creating a Friday Blog Roundup-type list in the comment section, one comment at a time.

I will also love you forever if you read down the list and click over to read the other posts listed in the comment section.  And don’t just hit the first ones at the top of the comment list. Make sure you hit some of the people in the middle or bottom of the list and leave them a comment telling them that you agree with the original commenter — their writing does rock.

My usual blog rules apply: any spam is deleted — the point is to honour another person, not drum up business for a Viagra website — as well as anything rude.

I’ll use the random number generator and announce it on Friday in the Roundup on the 16th.  So let the commenting/creme spot winning begin.

It is the sixth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme.  364 bloggers participated last year.  I’d love that number to jump past 400 this year.  If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know.   If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when its revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2011 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry. Every year, the rules change slightly in order to streamline the process.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010, the impulse behind this list are the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2011 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section–the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2011 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 364 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000 blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 400. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um…other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2011. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a golden retriever. Can I participate?

Er … a golden retriever with a blog? An infertile golden retriever with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2011, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2011. Just choose your best from the last two months.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission (and this has changed since last year so pay attention)?

To ensure that you’re on the list on January 1st, please fill out the form by December 15th. If you submit after December 15, you will be on the list, but you will probably go up after people have started reading on January 1st.

The 2011 list doesn’t technically close until January 5, 2011. Therefore, if it is after January 1st and the list is already up, you can still submit as long as it is before 11 pm EST on January 5, 2011. After that point, the list will be close to new entries and I’ll be working to get up the last remaining few.

So, just to reiterate — (1) if you submit before December 15th, you will be on the list on January 1st. (2) If you submit between December 16th and 31st, you may be on the list January 1st, but more likely, you’ll be on some point after January 1st. (3) If you submit between January 1st and 5th, you’ll go up on the list as soon as possible. And then the list is closed until next year when the new one opens.

What about those prizes and special spaces on the list thing you were mentioning a few weeks back?

We have 18 prizes.  The 18 slots that will get to pick from the pool of 18 prizes are 36, 54, 72, 90, 108, 126, 144, 162, 180, 198, 216, 234, 252, 270 288, 306, and 324.  Also the person in the 18th slot on the list will receive a $100 gift card to Amazon from Attain Fertility.  An enormous thank you to all of the prize submitters.

1. Babylegs (Here We Go Again)
2. A curated list of 10-20 good book suggestions (for an adult or child) based on reading preferences, mood, etc. I’d throw in a copy of a book or two that ends up on the list as well (I Lost a World)
3. My Hopeful Journey — a web organizer for treatments (My Hopeful Journey)
4. Mugs (First Time Twins)
5. Israeli chocolate (Mommy Odyssey)
6. $10 Starbucks gift card (Are You Kidding Me?)
7. Personalized notecards (PB Creations by Virtue75)
8. Custom-made scrapbooking banner (Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker)
9. Glass jewelry (Battlefish)
10. 3 phone charms (Battlefish)
11. 2 bookmarks (Battlefish)
12. A handpainted mizuko jizo watercolour (Still Life with Circles)
13. A cigar box purse. One of a kind design (Denver Laura)
14. Handmade crocheted scarf (CD1 Again)
15. 6 digital scrapbooking pages (Tears are for Babies)
16. 1 adoption profile review (Profiles that Get Picked)
17. Crocheted afghan (Wistful Girl’s World)
18. Watercolour (Jess Rowe Art)

• Lucky Spot Prize (for spot #18): $100 Amazon gift card from Attain Fertility.

This is how it works.  If you fall on one of the prize slots, I will email you with a link to the list of prizes.  As prizes are claimed, they’ll be removed from that list.  You can choose any item off the list, and I’ll connect you with the prize giver so you can arrange for the delivery of the prize.  The first person (#36) will have their pick of all prizes.  The last person (#324) will get the remaining prize.

What about how you said that you were holding a few spaces near the top of the list…

Yes, some prime real estate is being held for three bloggers: slot 2, 4, and 6.  The second slot will go to the winner of the upcoming commenting contest (more news on that in the next few weeks).  Slot 4 is being held for a random IComLeavWe’er from November.  And slot 6 is being held for a random IComLeavWe’er from December.  Add your post regardless — don’t wait — because I will move you into that slot in the future if you win one of them.  Of course, it may end up that someone wins a prize because they’re in a prize slot and then moves into one of those top slots because they won that random contest, but I think we should all just marvel at their insane luck rather than grumble about them.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme List, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one. If you see someone missing from the list after it is posted, go bug them and tell them to submit a post. But don’t send me a note asking me to add them without their permission. I really would like this post to be what the author believes is their best post, but if you are feeling shy and can’t choose, enlist a friend to help you narrow it down and choose your best work.

Lastly, there is another section of the list that needs your help: blogs that closed in 2011. These are blogs that closed entirely — the person stopped blogging and said specifically that they were not going to post any longer — not blogs that went password protected or the person moved their blog to a new space. If you read a blog that closed during 2011, please send me the title of the blog. It doesn’t matter if it was read by one person or read by 5000 people, all blogs should be honoured and recognized. And all blogs stand on the same plateau here.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here.  You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.

Back in college, I went to see Chinua Achebe speak.  Before he took the stage, a musician came on, his purpose to get the crowd in the mood for the lecture.  A hype man of sorts.  Later that evening, I went to this coffeehouse/book store, and Chinua Achebe was at the next table along with the musician and a few other people.  I told my friend that I wanted that — someone to precede me to events and get the crowd good and ready for me.  I know I don’t actually warrant that sort of entourage, but I’d love to hear what my hype man would say about me to get people in the mood.

I was thinking about Achebe because we went to a parade last week, and we had to sit on the street curb for a good hour before it began.  They had positioned these teenage boys every few yards to entertain the crowd, pump us up, remind us as our asses became numb that it was all for a good reason — because the freakin’ parade was going to start in just 18 minutes and if we got up now to stretch we. might. miss. it.  So we watched these boys and even participated when they attempted to get the entire block of people to do the wave. (Fine, I didn’t actually stand, but I participated from a seated position.)

Which is a long way of saying that the Creme de la Creme of 2011 opens tomorrow morning at 9 am.

There are prizes, there are blurbs, there is laughter and crying and thought-provoking words.  There are posts that will blow your mind and ones that will make you sigh and quite a few that will make you smile and others that will simply feel as if you are sitting at someone’s kitchen table because they are a little slice of someone’s life.

I know the Creme post is often long — okay, I know it is extremely long and your ass will probably be numb by the time you finish sitting and reading it — but like any good hype man, I am here to cheer you along, promise you that slogging through will be worth it.  Please read the post in its entirety before submitting your post because things do change slightly every year and it helps things go smoothly.

And please help spread word tomorrow.  The list is closing early this year, so people who miss out on hearing about it now will miss out on being on the list.

So who is ready to get their Creme on?

The air is getting cooler, the leaves will soon be crunching underfoot, and it is time to start organizing the sixth Creme de la Creme.  Every year, the list gets longer and longer and I need to start working on it earlier.  I’m not complaining — I’m just stating a fact: it’s a lot of work.  Last year, we had 364 submissions.  This year, I’d like to have over 400.  So things will need to kick off soon — namely, October 20th.

Here’s what you need to know before the list opens.  This post is long, but I sprinkle a lot of good information in here so you’re going to want to read until the end.  Lots of changes afoot — some boring but some, I hope, are a bit fun.

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Because it’s a lot of work, I’m changing one aspect of it this year (beyond opening the list on October 20): the list will only be open for new submissions until January 5th.  In the past, I’ve updated it well into the spring, but the list is just too enormous to do that now.  I need to contain the bulk of the work  to these fall/winter months and then put it to bed.  So the last submissions will be taken on January 5th at 11 pm EST and then the list will close for the year.

Which means, you may want to take the next few weeks to peek through your archives and find which post you want to highlight.

As always, there will be two deadlines: the first will be December 15th.  Any submission that comes in between October 20th and December 15th will be on the Creme de la Creme when it goes up — as always — on New Years Day.  The second deadline will be the hard deadline of January 5th.  Any submission that comes in from December 16th to January 5th will go on the list after its initial posting (in other words, I’ll get it on there some time after January 1st).  Any submission that comes in after January 5th will not be included.

There is plenty of time to get on the list, but I know some people like to know when the list will open so they can submit as soon as the list opens so they’re high up on the list.  Also, I ask as a favour that you spread word about the list between now and December in order to get as many people on there as possible before the list goes up on January 1st.  Tweet it, Facebook it, Stumble it, blog about it, email about it, call your mother about it — help me get word out so no one gets to mid-January and feels left out.

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When the call for submissions goes up on October 20th and the list opens, please take the time to read the full post.  I know it’s long, but I write it for a reason.  It is to make things easier for me and easier for you.  I can’t tell you how many people don’t bother to read the post and it shows when the submission comes in wrong, for instance, a post from 2009 for the 2010 list.  So I’m begging you, if you want the Creme to run smoothly, please read the post.

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The part that I really, really, really need help with is the Blogs that Closed section.  I am looking for the names of blogs that closed in 2011.  This means that they have at least one post in 2011 and then they formally stated that they are going to stop blogging OR they have not had a new post since January 2011.  If you are a former blog writer who closed his/her blog in 2011 OR a blog you read in 2011 closed, please email me the name so I can keep track.

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Speaking of being high up on the list (I was speaking about that in the first point in case your eyes are currently glazing over), I am holding the second slot on the list for the winner of a commenting contest I’m going to hold in the next few weeks.  You know how I love for people to comment everywhere, so in order to encourage people to comment more, I’m going to be offering up the second slot on the list as a prize.  Yes, those higher up on the list have given feedback that they get more hits.  More news coming soon.

I will probably hold a second slot somewhere high on the list for an IComLeavWe’er to grab in a comment raffle.

Just trying to keep it fun.

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Lastly, the Creme de la Creme was created as the anti-award list in response to all of the “best of” voting contests that spring up each winter.  It’s all well and good to honour one person, but I’d much rather everyone have a post honoured — we all do great work.

That said, I think it would be fun to have prizes this year BUT they would not be merit based.  No blog post would be deemed “better” than someone else’s (how do you truly judge something like that?)  Instead, they would be by random chance based on where you are on the list.

Because this is the 6th year, I’d like to honour the 6th, the 36th, and the 216th participant (or something to that effect — I picked the number 6 and then squared and cubed it, but it will all depend on how many prizes we have to work with).  And I’d like the prizes to come… from you.

The prizes should be handmade, based on a specific skill you possess, or something you wish to giveaway (such as a giftcard).  You have etsy shops, you have online stores, you have crafty side projects, you can pull together a fun basket of American candy that would be appealing to someone overseas.  Anyone who would like to submit one of their pieces as a prize will have their online space listed and linked to as a thank you.  So it becomes a give-and-take: you contribute the prize, but in return, you get free publicity right before the holidays so people can support you (by perhaps doing some of their holiday shopping at your online site) OR support your blog.  See, it’s like a big community group-hug.

Anything works, though it obviously needs to be mail-able or transferred electronically:

• Do you do website design?  Offer up a free blog makeover.
• Do you make jewelry?  Offer up a bracelet.
• Great at using photo software?  Offer to touch up someone’s pictures for them or teach them how to use photoshop.
• Do you knit?  Contribute a hat or scarf.
• Do you have a gift card to a business you’re not using?  Someone else might want it.
• Anyone who crafts or creates music or has a technical skill they can pass along — send it all up as a prize.

If you would like to contribute a prize, please write the following information in a comment below:

• What the prize will be
• A link to your online site (or your blog if you don’t have an online site but can make something crafty to serve as a prize or have a skill to pass along)

By doing so, you’re making a commitment to deliver the prize — t0 mail it to the recipient or connect with them over email if you’re passing along a skill.

The prizes will all be randomly assigned based on where you fall on the list.  The first person who has a “lucky spot” on the list will get to choose from all the prizes offered.  Then the second lucky spot will get to pick, so on and so on until the final lucky spot gets the final remaining prize.  If you do not wish to keep your prize, you can pass it along to the next person on the list.  All prize submissions need to come in by October 19th at 11 pm EST to be included.

Got that?  So leave a comment below if you have something to contribute.

Wheeew, and those are the five announcements.  Look for the submission list opening on October 20th.

WAIT!

Jen asks a good question in the comment section below.

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Are people interested in doing the Grateful Said again, the comment equivalent to the Creme de la Creme list?  I loved it and would pull it together again if people are interested.  Let me know in a comment below if you’d participate.  Trying to gauge interest.