Category — Virtual Lushary

Better late than never. It has been a quiet summer and somehow July almost passed without a Virtual Lushary. No imaginary lemon drop shots. No invisible bottles of microbrewed beer. Not even a non-existent latte for the last six weeks.

But I’m throwing open the doors today to squeeze in one last Lushary before it becomes August. So please stop in and let us know what has been happening with you.

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life EXCEPT if that update involves Harry Potter since I haven’t finished yet. There are many, many exciting pregnancy announcements to toast, new paths to parenthood to cheer, and, unfortunately, losses to grieve. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

Oh–and if you haven’t done so, go to the International Infertility Film Festival website and vote for your favourite film. There’s Love to be won in this contest. Oh…and my film, just in case you wanted to know, is What the Gardener Knows. I’m just saying…

Updated at the bottom of the post:

…especially when the drinks are imaginary. Imaginary drinks mean that you don’t have to worry about where you are in your cycle. Even if you get stinkin’ drunk, there’s no hangover. And, of course, you’re drinking in a place where everyone knows your name.

In honour of summer and this blogoversary celebration, I’ve moved the imaginary bar to an equally imaginary, tropical locale. Imagine, if you will, a smooth mahogany bar counter that a few feet off the shore surrounded by floating lounge chairs. The water is perfectly clear and slightly blue. Behind you is a wide expanse of pristine white sand. At the bar is anything you forgot since you didn’t know you were going on an imaginary journey–a good book to read, a trashy magazine to thumb through, an iPod loaded with your favourite music, a bottle of suntan lotion (even at an imaginary bar, you can’t be too careful about the harmful effects of UV rays). You need to wade out to get to the bar, but the water is the perfect temperature. You sink down on one of the floating lounge chairs and gently bob in the water while you listen to everyone else tell you what has happened to them since the last open bar (either cycle-wise or non-IF related) and sip a huge drink festooned with a paper umbrella.

This scenario could help me to “just relax”…know what I mean?

You get so tired that you barely even notice that Melissa changed the bar icon both on her side bar and above. But you don’t really trouble yourself with that because it’s a long story that will become clear a few weeks from now when Melissa irons out a few things. Anyway, you’re too relaxed and too drunk to care that much…

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe Fertility Friend has finally granted you a coverline after many anovulatory cycles. Or maybe your inlaws are coming right at the time of retrieval. Or maybe you simply need to have a good cry because you spent the whole day with your niece or nephew and while you love them so much, you want a child too. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

It’s also a perfect time to leave some comments for the Commentathon. Don’t forget to keep track of how many comments you leave or return. And when you’re finished reading blogs for the day, send me a number so I can add it to the master list. And while you’re checking out blogs, you can even write an ode and send it to me for Secret Ode Day since I need them by the 20th in order to compile and post the list this week…

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy drinking and relaxing.

Update: we close the night (okay, it’s 11 p.m., but that’s the night for me) with 563 comments total. And that’s with only a 1/4th or so of people turning in their daily comments. Even if you don’t email in a number nightly, keep track over the week and mail in a single number at the end.

Oh, and the pledge was just to get an idea of a goal. Don’t let your number limit you. If you go way over your initial goal, even better. Or, if you’re like Samantha and you go over your weekly goal on the first day, just set a new number for yourself!

I think the thing I was most excited to see were people finding new blogs. And connecting to a new story. I love the Lushary.

It’s just two words on a calendar. It’s some greeting card displays and flower advertisements. It’s commercials and sales and all other venues of consumerism.

And at the same time, it’s almost as if Hallmark designed this lovely little knife to jab straight into your heart (the knife is, of course, festooned with decorative hearts and flowers and is only $6.99 with the purchase of three greeting cards).

You need a drink, right?

If you weren’t in the middle of a 2ww, you’d be at a real bar this weekend. Or if you weren’t waiting to cycle and worrying that alcohol could hurt your chances, you’d be knocking back a few appletinis. So let’s open this one instead. I thought drinks would be better served before the 13th rather than after this month.

Mother’s Day is this bizarre little holiday. When you can’t celebrate it yourself, it becomes this huge container of salt to rub on a very open wound. And when you can celebrate it yourself, you still find yourself weeping in the card aisle. You want to simply enjoy it, but you think about what it took to get there. And while others try to convince you otherwise–“you have a mother; just celebrate her this May and don’t think about it”–it’s hard to get your mind off your hoohaahooterus when Hallmark has created a reminder of motherhood right in the center of May.

So for every stirrup queen who has not reached motherhood; for every stirrup queen who reached motherhood but had it cruelly snatched away; for every stirrup queen who is currently pregnant yet terrified about celebrating; or for every stirrup queen who has reached motherhood but still thinks about what it took to get there or how she will ever reach motherhood again–a drink for you.*

So don’t just catch everyone up on what’s happening to you this month–have a good vent. Get it out here. Send each other ideas on how you’re spending that day. Send support to others who need it. And if you are looking for the perfect, alcohol-inspired card:

I purchased this card for a friend simply because she is in need of a good, stiff drink right now. But I thought I would put it up on the blog with a link back to the good people at Hallmark (more specifically, it was made by Shoebox) so that this card could be virtually sent to all of you. It seems that with the new line of sympathy cards aimed at infertility and pregnancy loss, Hallmark has also gone on a few tangents with hard-to-deal-with holidays.

Making Mother’s Day a drinking holiday is a little bit like making a birthday a “smoke up, Johnny” sort of day. But why the hell not?

So…beyond your thoughts on the upcoming holiday…as I always state… It has been a little less than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe you just had your first appointment with your RE. Or your worst fight ever with your spouse. Or maybe you simply need to have a good cry as you pick up the pieces after a D&C. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

And forgive me if it takes me a day or two to get you your drink. My lady-when-waiting is coming into town!

* And to all men who fall into the male side of these categories (except the ones who are currently pregnant since you’re such an media case that you’re probably too busy giving interviews about how you’re the first man carrying a child to drink at this imaginary bar), please pull up a chair and drink too since you have wives to comfort and celebrate this weekend.

What says good morning more than an ice cold, imaginary French martini?

And what says good afternoon more than some virtual vomiting in a luxurious invisible bathroom inside the Virtual Lushary?

I feel like I’ve been out of touch. Like everything is moving too quickly. Like I can’t absorb everything. I think I need to sit down today. I’ll be pouring drinks from the seated position. Maybe with my feet up too. So tell me about your life right now–what is happening–both good and bad.

So…as always… It has been a little more than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. As always, pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe you just peed on a stick and you’re wondering if it’s too early or if it’s a sign of how the beta will go in a few days. Or maybe you just found out that you’re getting to cycle again soon. Or maybe you need a good cry to let out some of that stress you’ve been carrying as you wait for that first sonogram to confirm the pregnancy. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Drink specials this month for all stirrup queens or sperm palace jesters who are currently undergoing any form of waiting in honour of the second blilt. And…by strange coincidence since I just noticed it right now…the 4th book of the Barren Bitches Book Tour—Waiting for Daisy. Waiting. It’s freakin’ everywhere. And feel free while you’re hanging around the blog to send over a blilt square or sign up for the book tour… (and if you’re still finishing leaving comments as part of the tour, the list of participants is under this post if you scroll down).

(Melissa finishes polishing off the bar with a shammy, snaps it, and tucks it into her apron waist. She takes several glasses down from the hanging rack and inspects them before filling them with the French martini she just mixed in her shaker. Melissa startles, suddenly remembering that she (1) has no knowledge of how to actually mix drinks and (2) rarely drinks alcohol herself. She straightens up, looks around in confusion for a moment and then remembers that this is a virtual bar, therefore, there are virtual drinks and virtual drunks vomiting at regular intervals in her virtual restroom. Order in the universe is restored.)

It has once again been a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. As always, pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe you have good news to share and we’ll all toast you with an imaginary glass of wine. Or maybe you just need to vent about your RE. Or a terraversary has just passed. Or maybe you just need to have a good, long cry. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Drink specials this month for all stirrup queens or sperm palace jesters who just personally took a first step on a new path (whether it is a new protocol with treatments or treatments themselves, adoption, third party reproduction, pregnancy-or-parenting-after-infertility-or-loss, or living child-free).