Category — Virtual Lushary

I learned some good lessons the hard way from my oral surgery last week. Luckily, I get to do this at least two more times this year, therefore, I’ll get lots of practice.

1. Clear my schedule: I had the surgery on Tuesday and I didn’t really feel up to doing anything until Saturday.  Set aside at least three days for each surgery.  Set aside at least five days to not run.

2. Ask for help: Josh originally hadn’t scheduled in to take time off, but did so when he saw that I was a fucking wreck.  My mum took the twins one day too.  I need to schedule the surgery next time on a Thursday, ask Josh to take off Friday, and spend the weekend healing.

3. Don’t feel guilty that I asked for help: I felt so badly that Josh was taking off on Wednesday that I went downstairs with the twins for a bit to give him some time to work from home.  I probably could have healed faster if I had just allowed myself the space to heal.  Next time, y’all are on your own.

4. Take the Vicodin: there are no points for getting through oral surgery with wimpy painkillers.  No one jumps out of the shadows and gives you a prize for having a high pain threshold.  And I believe that in all facets of life–there is no point to being a martyr.  Next time, I’m going to have a steady stream of Vicodin and drool and not feel guilty or wimpy doing so.

Those are the lessons I learned this week.  What has been up with you since we last chatted at the Lushary?

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.

As we lead up to Christmas, this Jew thought it might be a good idea to throw open the doors of the Lushary and reconnect before we go off to our respective celebrations (if you’re…er…celebrating and not doing volunteer work and then going to the movies like me).

So take a moment before you start getting even farther into Christmas preparations, Christmas avoidance, or non-celebration of the holiday to catch everyone up on what is happening since the last Virtual Lushary OR where you are mentally as you head into the holiday.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.

I have been having wonderful luck lately with meeting other bloggers.  Last week, it was Serenity and Somewhat Ordinary.  This week, it was Baby Shmaybe, To Baby and Beyond, and Palemother.

Last weekend, I was in Detroit doing a book reading.  What?  You don’t have a copy of Navigating the Land of If?  Well, you should remedy that and get yourself one.

First I met, Baby Shmaybe, who shall not be pictured as per her request, but she is simply lovely.

Then, Palemother came up after the reading which made me emotional because I didn’t know she would be there.

And then, I met To Baby and Beyond, who came with her sister, which was all kinds of cool.  And I’m so glad that I got to give her a big hug.

I am so incredibly lucky that I get to meet bloggers that I read face-to-face.

After the reading, I sat in the lobby for a bit and signed books.  Which, you know, makes a lovely present and is the perfect answer for all those pesky holiday questions about family building.  When they ask, just hand them a copy of the book.

If you could meet any blogger in this exact moment in time, who would you want to meet.  Meaning, not the blogger you most want to meet overall, but scrolling down your mental blogroll for a moment, who would be the best person to fit your mood in this moment.  You know how at different times, you’re in the mood for different people?  So, this exact second, who would it be with the understanding that ten minutes from now, it might be a different person.

I think, in this exact moment in time, I would want to be sitting cross-legged on top of a blanket with Vee at the beach.  Maybe in the late afternoon.  With a thermos of milky tea.  And a chocolate bar.  I’ve always wanted to see Australia, and I think a talk would be good.  If Bea and Eden could join us, all the better.

So I’m pouring drinks while you think about that question and catch us up on your life.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.

By the time the next Virtual Lushary rolls around, the Creme de la Creme list will have been started.  I know–it’s a little crazy.  The chill has just hit the air here.  I’m wearing a jacket for the first time since last winter.  But if I don’t start it early enough, I don’t get it done.  And it’s pretty much my favourite thing I do all year.  So I’ve started constructing the opening post and am working on the new icon for this year today.

This will be the fourth list, and that fact alone blows my mind a little.  In 2006, it was pretty small–77 posts.  In 2007, it had doubled to 160 posts.  In 2008, it grew again to 222 posts.  My goal this year is to break 300 posts.  I would love all 2000 blogs on the blogroll to have a post on the list, and I’m looking to you guys to help me nudge everyone to join along.  If you have a favourite post that has appeared on another person’s blog, let them know.  Kick each other’s asses, so I don’t have to.  The list will open at the beginning of November, so I give you this heads up in case you want to start thinking about it so you can be high-up on the list or hitting publish on a particular post in your draft folder.

The place where I need the most help– and this section always gets the least amount of attention so I’ll say it again and again over the next few weeks–is with blogs that have closed in 2009.  Meaning, they didn’t go password protected or on a pause–the author has either removed the blog entirely and has stopped blogging or they have stated that they are done with the site, but are leaving it up.  So if you can think of blogs that fit this description (and they ended in 2009–not 2008 or earlier), send them my way or leave the name in the comment section below.

So can we raise a glass of a cream-based drink for the Creme de la Creme list?  Because we all have a personal favourite post.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.

One night, my freshman year of college, I went to hear a Buddhist monk speak. Part of the talk was about the freeing quality of owning less. It made no sense–the less you have, the more you’ll feel in control? Except that my life felt quite out of control at that point, so I was willing to give it the old college try.

I went back to my dorm room and dumped most of my possessions in the trash room down the hall. I removed every picture from my wall, gave away any book not necessary for my studies, and tossed out dozens of small items I had accumulated in the first six months of college.

I had a lot of regrets afterwards. I also did feel more in control in my life, less cluttered. There was thinking space.

I can’t make myself get into one of these decluttering states–they mostly come to me when I’m very anxious, but when they come, I always ride out the impulse, using it to reorganize, pare back, give away anything unneeded. I accumulate so much stuff. Drawers of tiny play-doh samples and twelve pairs of scissors and used birthday candles. I have dishes we never use, broken measuring spoons, a can of mandarin oranges we will never eat. I have more books than a library. I literally have several thousand books, a large chunk of which could be donated and put to better use.

I have been decluttering for a few weeks now. In the process, I’ve also been redecorating. One of the strange things about this house is that there are no doors on the closets. Every closet opening is a strange size and we need to get new doors cut to fit the space, except we’ve never gotten around to it. It occurred to me that I could put up a curtain in place of a door and buy myself more time to work on that project.

So Lindsay and I headed to IKEA for furniture and decorative items. We were debating between two choices–a white curtain with a black pattern that would have been safe in my white and black kitchen or an orange curtain that would make me happy every time I looked at it. Even though my head was telling me “white curtain white curtain don’t be a fool, Melissa, white curtain” my very loud heart simply said, “orange.” I went with orange.

It is not perfect, nor does it look very grown-up, but as Josh said, “it is whimsical and therefore, it’s you. And the orange is us. It makes me happy when I sit down to eat.” It does make me very happy. We all just like to sit in there now and talk at the table.

On the theme of decluttering, we went to the river for tashlich, which is part of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. We stood at the river’s edge and figuratively threw into the water all that we didn’t wish to take with us into this upcoming year. A soul’s decluttering. Gone is the jealousy, the self-doubt, the bitter feelings. I mean, until they bubble up again. You know, since clutter usually returns.

In addition to telling us what has happened in your life in the last month, if you could grab an uninterrupted day to declutter and reorganize one room of your house, which would it be? Until this week, it would have been my kitchen. Now it’s my living room. What I would give to get rid of the huge pile of papers in the corner…

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.