Category — Virtual Lushary

I realized in the craziness of putting together the Creme de la Creme that December was going to pass without a Virtual Lushary and that cannot happen because this is not only the final Lushary of the year–2007–but it is the final Lushary of the Year–12 months since the Lushary threw open its doors and I started pouring invisible drinks.

Unfortunately, I’m also madly reading over 120 entries (and more keep coming in) and writing blurbs so I’m setting up all the invisible alcohol bottles on the counter along with an instant espresso machine and other beverages and you can come in, help yourself, pour drinks for others, and enjoy each other’s company. It’s a week for checking in on each other and leaning on each other for support or celebration.

So I raise a bottle of beer to you and sing (in a drunkin’ warble):

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup!
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

Next month will be a huge celebration of us–a catch-up of where you were in life when the Virtual Lushary doors opened. We’ll have our own award ceremony with the Creme de la Creme where everyone in the community is celebrated. Today is simply for taking a break from Christmas, taking a break from family time, checking in and letting everyone know where you are in life. Some people are finally having the Christmas they’ve always wanted. Others thought this year would be different and they are holding their breath in fear. Still others are sadly looking around the room and thinking, “when the hell will it be different?” And some of us are not celebrating Christmas at all and are just sending out good thoughts to friends who we know are going through a hard time.

As always, it has been just about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking. Keep sending your links for the Creme de la Creme. I’ll trying to get everything that comes in on the list in time, but if not, it will be up a day or two after the list posts in January.

Updated at the bottom:

Let’s see if I can write this without crying.

I don’t write a lot about my siblings…actually, I don’t write at all about my siblings because they’ve asked me not to blog about them. Therefore, you have no idea what sort of incredible, wonderful, brilliant siblings I have. I have been cleared to tell a single story that came up during Thanksgiving and in order to do so, need to create a blogging name for each. I was running through possibilities last night–plugging their names into the ever popular Get A Chinese Name? Professor Poopypant’s Name Change-o-Chart? Randomly thumbing through the Best Scottish Baby Names book and pulling out Ealusaid and Cainneach?

Apparently what I believed to be the perfect names were my last thought before sleep and I found them scrawled across a post-it note next to my bed–Hansel and Gretel.

Things always seem more brilliant at 1 a.m. But since the story is more important than the name, they will henceforth be known as Hansel and Gretel even though neither is German, plump with candy from a gingerbread house, or itching to push a witch into the oven. Just know that these names made perfect sense in my head last night before drifting off.

At Thanksgiving, Hansel and Gretel sat down at the dessert table across from me. Gretel sort of stared up at the ceiling for a moment and addressed her comment towards the light fixture. “Hansel and I were thinking that a Virtual Lushary should have a very real drink–you know, for the bartender and all of the regulars. So we worked with a mixologist at Van Gogh Vodka to create two custom cocktails for the Lushary.”

She passed two certificates across the table complete with recipe as well as several bottles of flavoured vodka. It took me a long time to process exactly what she meant (not just because I’m a bit dimmer than my siblings but because I was really overwhelmed), but what she meant was that Hansel and Gretel had been conversing back and forth via email with a mixologist at the vodka company to create two customized drinks that summed up the Virtual Lushary as well as myself. The first is the Cafe Conception and this is the only place where this recipe exists (and I know because I’ve been googling it):

Updated at bottom:

Every bartender of invisible drinks needs a cocktailatrix* to invent martini recipes and daiquiri bases. Bond has Q and Alton Brown has W.

And I have Mr. Badger.

In honour of his wife, the infamous LJ, Mr. Badger has composed a drink for the October Lushary–to bring good luck to her and to all people when cycling. It is called the October Egg-Stravaganza.

It has Brown Honey Rum in it. How can you go wrong with Brown Honey rum?

Even if you can’t drink because you are currently in the two week wait, you could certainly sit down at the bar for an imaginary version. The price is right–simply tell your story in exchange for an invisible drink that tastes like a melted cherry lollipop.

(Clears throat) Could everyone please raise their glass? Mr. Badger would like to toast his wife:

“To my dearest wife: Your absolute bravery in the face of this seemingly endless battle never ceases to amaze me. I have no doubt whatsoever that our marriage has been strengthened by this trial and that our children will be all the more special to us because of the great lengths that we went though to bring them into this world. So here’s to hope: hope for the future, hope for new adventures, and hope for a long and happy life together surrounded by the ones that we love.”

Okay, dry your eyes and blow your nose and line up–I’m pouring invisible drinks.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. The knitting project you started to distract yourself from your upcoming beta, the fight you had with your mother-in-law, or the half hour you spent in the office bathroom crying because your coworker announced her pregnancy. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

*It wasn’t until I was watching Iron Chef this weekend, after I had already named Mr. Badger, that I learned that a cocktailatrix is formally called a mixologist. But that just sounds stupid, so cocktailatrix it is. Master of the Cocktail.

Update:

If you are not too drunk, one of our usual bar regulars needs some support:

Steinbockfrau received terrible news this week. She was participating in a shared egg program for IVF–not only to help another woman but to make IVF possible for herself–and in the stimming portion of the cycle when her cycle was abruptly canceled due to a positive Hep C test. The test is most likely a false positive since it has never come back positive before and she is in a low-risk group. But this has obviously affected her recipient who was doing this cycle with her. After much string pulling, she has been allowed to continue stims until her subsequent test results come back in case she can continue the cycle. She will know the results and the fate of this cycle tomorrow (Wednesday). Please go over and give her your support. She has removed the password-protection from her blog. Leave her a drink and a virtual hug.

Though I’ve had the occasional margarita since my college days, the word tequila usually makes me quite queasy (even Tequila Mockingbird’s blog title makes me throw up a little in my mouth–just the title, just the title) ever since an evening during my first week of college that culminated with high kicks on the sink in our co-ed bathroom and waking up in an impromptu (read: passed out) slumber party attended by a large portion of my dorm wing. Somewhat-first hangovers are a bitch.

But it’s a stupidity rite of passage. It doesn’t matter how self-destructive drinking several times your weight in tequila shots can appear to the rational mind. The rational mind says screw it in the face of adjusting to college life. I think most of us probably have a story like that when it comes to college–the poorly thought-out tequila bender that needed to happen but leaves us with a distaste for the drink for the rest of our life.

Pee sticks are my new tequila.

I went on a pee stick bender the first time I tried to conceive. Tested every day and even insisted that my full-flow period was simply late implantation bleeding. I obviously became smarter in the realm of partaking in pee stick sports, but they still hold the same queasiness when I see that box under the sink. Oh? Did I mention that I keep a box of FRED–not even the cheap internet sticks, but a box of the good stuff–next to my pantiliners under the sink? Like tequila in a margarita, I still pee on them from time to time. But the act always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And the stick is always starkly white.

So, this month’s bar special is margaritas festooned with a pee stick instead of an umbrella. You name the flavour, but you do need to partake in the tequila regardless of the queasiness factor. It’s a rite of passage. And it’s imaginary. And it’s free. Imaginary, free, peer-pressured drinks should be consumed with gusto.

As always, it has been a little under a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. In fact, after you’ve caught us up on your own situation this month, make sure you add in your own freshman year alcohol-related tale. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

I don’t think we’ve spent enough time toasting the alcoholic drink. Or, more importantly, the mixed drink.

I’m a girl-drink sort of girl. I throw like a girl and I drink like a girl. I like umbrellas in my straw. I like my drink to be an odd colour. I don’t like to taste the alcohol.

Back in college, there was a wonderful bar called the Barber’s Closet that burned down my senior year. It was an old-fashioned speakeasy that was turned into a real bar after the prohibition. You entered via a secret panel and it was a rite of passage, the day you entered the Barber’s Closet for the first time. And it was when I was 21 (I put that in for my mother).

They had this incredible drink menu of girly mixed drinks. And my favourite was the Blue Angel. It was served in an ice cream glass filled with ice and it was 3/4 ounce of Blue Curaco, 3/4 ounce of Triple Sec, and sour mix to 1/4th of an inch under the rim of the glass. And that is the drink I would like to use to toast alcohol this month at the open bar. A blue angel for the toast and then whatever you need to drink to celebrate or forget.

As always, it has been a little under a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. There are many, many exciting pregnancy announcements to toast, new paths to parenthood to cheer, and, unfortunately, losses to grieve. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.