Like last year, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

Perhaps this is the best part of the Internet: you write a post and someone bounces off of it, and then you read their post and bounce back off of it, exchanging ideas in these chain-linked posts which circle back into thoughts through various paths of words until we come — perhaps — to the heart of the matter. And perhaps what women owe one another has always been the heart of the matter.

What do we owe one another as women? We explore this idea time and time again. While we may have come to expect men to range from holding us back to marginally supporting women’s rights (“I mean, if it matters to you, it matters to me.” Which can also mean, “if it didn’t matter to you, it wouldn’t have crossed my mind.”), we expect women to give each other a boost, to have each other’s backs, keeping in mind that we’re all individuals as well as members of this collective sorority.

Read the whole post here.

Like last year, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

We survived the first day of kindergarten.

They were excited to get to the building, but when we walked up to the door for drop-off, the Wolvog became wide-eyed and quiet, saying goodbye to us in a daze while he allowed himself to be led inside. The ChickieNob burst into tears and screamed, “I’m scared! I’m overwhelmed! I’m overwhelmed!” and begged us not to make her go to kindergarten because “there are too many kids! Too much noise!” But she too allowed herself to be led inside.

I walked back to the car with Josh and drove home in tears, and once he left for work, cried like an animal. I sat on the sofa and did one of those screaming cries, not caring if the neighbours heard. I literally felt as if my skin was being yanked inside out, with all my organs spilling to the floor and rolling away to the far-reaches of the room.

Read the whole post here.

I am going to take a short break from blogging to sit with my feelings as the twins return to college. It will not be as long as last year, but similarly, I have jumped back into the archives and pulled up a post that ran on the same day many years earlier. So, a blog post from September 1, 2010 will run on September 1, 2024. I clearly have a lot of posts to choose from after 18 years of blogging.

Apologies for the repeats.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Barreness has a hard post about the situation with her parents, and she could really use a virtual hug. She writes: “I described it to The Barren the other day like this: it is like I have lost both my parents, but they are still here and I am left watching it all disappear each day in a new way. Like an extended period of grief and mourning. It breaks my heart in new and different ways every time I call them.” Please go give her kindness.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ talks about holding two conflicting feelings at the same time. She explains: “While I feel the loss of not exploring the world with my kids, in the way they are able to, I can also see the freedom and benefits of a No Kidding lifestyle that still allows me to explore. Gain and loss, loss and gain, both sides of the same coin.” It’s about how the same situation can lead to very different feelings at the same time. I loved the reminder about the complexity of everything.

The roundup to the Roundup: Sitting with my feelings. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 23 – 30) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.

The Wall Street Journal had a great article about what happens when a series comes to an end. The dek: “Such fictional endings can bring up real emotions for readers.”

I think that is true for fictional endings as well as non-fictional endings, such as the closure of a blog. You’ve been invested in the story. You want to know what happens next or visit your favourite characters. I perhaps feel it more when it’s a blog because I know the person is real, but I also feel it with characters.

I have a terrible feeling the arc of the Thursday Murder Club may be complete, especially now that Richard Osman has a new series coming out this fall. And yes, I can (and do) go back and visit with the characters, but it’s hard to spend so much time with characters, book after book, and then have the door figuratively close on you while you’re still invested in knowing what happens next.

The ChickieNob and I were talking, and it became clear that she believed there would be a day when she would not only be an adult agewise but also feel like an adult, capable of taking care of things and understanding everything.

She will be waiting forever.

As a middle-aged woman, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of many overwhelming tasks on my own, and I have been taking care of those tasks for years. But every time I have to deal with insurance, make financial decisions, or figure out a new vacuum to buy, my first thought is that I wish an adult would come by and take care of all of this for me. I have spent the last thirty years waiting to feel like an adult. I only feel like a grown-up when I realize it’s my choice to consume popsicles for breakfast. That’s it. At all other moments, I feel like I’m waiting for the real adult to arrive and figure out everything.